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Bizarre Rules

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bsy

Wed, Jan 18 2017, 4:15 pm

When I was a kid I asked my father about cutting nais on Thursday. I compared it to timers. He said it's not because it will make them grow but rather that it wont look freshly cut by the time shabbos comes. That made much more sense to me..... Smile

allthingsblue

Wed, Jan 18 2017, 4:28 pm

Just curious, those of you who buy stuff before baby is born, do you find out the gender?

We bought a car seat and snap n go, and we chose two layettes, one for if it would be a boy, one for a girl. My mother and mother in law went to purchase the selected items after the baby (a boy) was born.
Otherwise I guess it's possible to buy gender neutral clothing (white?).

mha3484

Wed, Jan 18 2017, 5:20 pm

My grandmother has a panic if you put shoes on the bed. I remember red ribbons on my cousins cribs when they were born. Lots of pupupu and knock on wood which I later learned is totally not jewish at all.

We have a local baby store that will deliver all of the furniture and set it up for you after you tell them the baby is born. You can buy it and they will store it for as long as you need. My parents and all of their friends (totally not religious) did this.

Honestly, my father who is very cynical and sarcastic was always weirded out by having the whole nursery set up before the baby was born. He always said what if you didnt come home with the baby. I think its more of an emotional thing. I lost a 10 week old baby and putting away all the clothing etc was horrible. Why do that to yourself if you don't have to.

amother

Silver

Wed, Jan 18 2017, 6:55 pm

amother wrote:

I find this post FASCINATING since I grew up with many of these or have them in my own house and don't think they are bizarre in the least!!!!
-OJ is for breakfast only! Otherwise my kids drink tons of it and then don't eat food
-soda is only after fish course - so they eat something at least before filling up. With one of my children, I don't let him drink anything til he eats something because he really loves to fill up on liquids and hardly eats. Doctor's orders.
-separate ketchups. I grew up with and understand. When my kids get old enough to pour ketchup, I will likely do the same!
-I grew up with no shoes in the house. Its a European/Canadian norm. So as not to track dirt in. My husband grew up with always wearing shoes (siman aveilus). Some of my friends growing up had the slippers at the door so that the two ideas were merged.
-No sleepovers - my mother did that to me cuz she is super overprotective. I don't do this to my kids
-Red braclet for ayin hara. I grew up with but learned in sem not to do it
-stepping over someone and then stepping back to take it away. grew up with that too!
-No one leaves the table til everyone is done : otherwise my kids would take one bite and leave. and once one leaves, everyone follows.
-no cutting nails on thursday - see the kitzur shulchan aruch.
-my parents didn't like us in black simply because they like bright colors. My mom never wears black.
- the red food coloring was probably for health reasons.

What I grew up with: my parents had a white couch in the living room which was reserved for dates. Since we were all little. They were probably used 20 times in 20 years.

My mom starts Pesach cleaning in October. Some closets/rooms are always "pesachdik"

We had to eat carbs with everything. Yogurt was spread on bread. Compote had pasta in it. Eggs came with bread.... now my father is on a carb-free diet and we laugh

OMG you're my sister in law shock

amother

Apricot

Wed, Jan 18 2017, 7:35 pm

My zayde used to cut my nails starting with the pinky and skipping fingers and coming back to them after.... In a pattern.... Has anyone heard of this? I've always been interested to know what it was from....

amother

Hotpink

Wed, Jan 18 2017, 7:42 pm

theoneandonly wrote:

Just because something is well-known does not mean it has a legitimate source. We asked a shayla while I was pregnant with my first and the (extremely knowledgeable, charedi) rav said he had looked high and low for a legitimate Jewish source for this and could not find one and we could buy stuff before the baby was born if we wanted to.

We were told the same. That we can buy for the baby and that it is a show of bitachon when its done as your blielive everything will be ok with the baby

amother

Hotpink

Wed, Jan 18 2017, 7:47 pm

gp2.0 wrote:

I know some families who don't serve any drinks at the shabbos table after washing until after the fish course.

There's an Eastern European superstition about whistling. As a kid I remember many of my peers were convinced that whistling attracts shedim and that whistling is muktzeh on shabbos (both untrue.)

Many of the bizarre rules in that quote are actually from mentally ill parents who were hoarders or had OCD. Also, redditors like to make stuff up. So only half the content on Reddit is actually true. I suspect the "no pooping at home" one is made up.

One of my classmates had a rule that everyone had to take off their shoes when coming in and put on a pair of house slippers. I didn't mind taking off my shoes but wearing someone else's old slippers was gross.

Another classmate's parents only allowed orange juice on Shabbos. Which wouldn't have been that weird except she asked me what I wanted to drink and I innocently asked for the orange juice I saw in the fridge. She told me I couldn't have any, then her mom insisted that guests could have some, and I had to choke down the orange juice which wasn't a novelty for me while my classmate watched enviously.

I also stayed at someones house once who refused to let anyone leave the table until they finished all their food. Well my friend ate the vegetables for me when her moms back was turned and we both got dessert. So there! 😂

Just curious-
Did u happen to grow up in monsey?

amother

Hotpink

Wed, Jan 18 2017, 7:50 pm

We werent alowed to "peel" off the wrapping on a soda bottle because my mothers father didnt let her do it.
Mind you he passed away before my mother got married....

poelmamosh

Wed, Jan 18 2017, 7:52 pm

amother wrote:

Here's an answer from chabad.org (also addresses the Thursday thing)

Quote:

Well, to add to the mystery, here is a cryptic Hebrew phrase related to this custom:3

קשי״א בל״א תירו״ץ

This literally translates as “question without answer,” which some take as an indicator that the deeper reasons behind this custom are not readily apparent.4

This phrase is actually a mnemonic that tells us the proper sequence of cutting nails, and when to do so. Let’s look at the first word:

קמיצה (ring finger)
שמאל (left)
ימין (right)
אצבע (index finger)

In other words, when cutting your nails, start with your left ring finger, and then alternate every other finger. On your right hand, start with the index finger.5 Here is a diagram of the full sequence:

Even though there are some who are of the opinion that one need not be careful about cutting nails in this order, most write that ideally one should be careful about it.6

Cutting in Preparation for Shabbat

Now that you know the order of nail-cutting, you may wonder when to cut them. For this, we read the rest of the mnemonic:

באזהרה (warning)
לך (to you)
אתה (you)
תקוץ (cut)
יום (day)
רביעי (fourth)
והלאה (and on)
צפרניך (your nails)

In other words, cut your nails from Wednesday to Friday. Why? Because we trim our nails in honor of Shabbat, and the days from Wednesday to Friday have a connection7 to the upcoming Shabbat.8

Most, however, seem to be of the opinion that one should cut his nails on days that are even closer to Shabbat, I.e., Friday (or Thursday), when it is more discernable that the nails are being cut in preparation of the holy day.9

This is where things get a bit complicated. We are also warned that it is inauspicious to cut the nails of both the hands and feet on the same day.10 Therefore, one suggestion is to cut one’s toenails on Thursday and fingernails on Friday.11 Others, however, hold that one shouldn’t cut his nails on Thursday, since they start regrowing on the third day from when they were cut, and we don’t want them to start regrowing on Shabbat.12 After all, the whole point of cutting them to begin with is to honor the Shabbat.13

On a practical level, it is more important that the fingernails, rather than the toenails, be cut in honor of the Shabbat.14 Therefore, if both your fingernails and toenails are in need of being cut, you should cut your fingernails on Friday and your toenails on Thursday (or according to R. Chaim Noeh, Thursday night15).16 Additionally, if for whatever reason you know you won’t be able to cut your fingernails on Friday, you can cut them on Thursday.17

ra_mom

Wed, Jan 18 2017, 7:55 pm

amother wrote:

My mom did this when she cut our nails, but started with the thumb. I learned about it in school too. We were told yirei shamayim cut this way. Oh well.

We couldn't cut our fingernails and toenails on the same day.

We couldn't cut nails on Wednesday evening or daytime Thursday.

amother wrote:

~ After cutting fingernails (and not toenails) into a tissue, my mother would rip off two ends of the tissue and roll it up together with the nails. She did this because her grandmother did it so that the two pieces of tissues should serve as eidim (witnesses) that the hands of these nails never stole anything.

My mom would wrap our fingernails and toenails into a tissue along with a cut up toothpick serving as the eidim to show that we know where all our nails are, then flush them. We weren't allowed to throw them out.
She told me that her dad would shave off little wooden pieces of the innards of the drawer to serve as the eidim for the nail clippings when she was growing up.
My mom grew up very superstitious. I've thrown the superstitions out.

Last edited by ra_mom on Wed, Jan 18 2017, 8:21 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

cornflower

Wed, Jan 18 2017, 8:19 pm

I grew up with lots of these superstitions also. I only came to realize that most of these things are not halacha only as an adult.
Interesting, as a child I also thought that whistling was a terrible thing but never thought about it as an adult until now when I read about it on this thread.

I definitely do not and will not pass these stuff on to my children.

amother

Sienna

Wed, Jan 18 2017, 8:35 pm

"Secrets at the table shall mean breakfast in the stable" - and it was enforced!

amother

Black

Wed, Jan 18 2017, 11:04 pm

Cutting nails while skipping: I believe it's written in the kitzur shulchan aruch. We actually leant this in sem.

amother

Cerulean

Wed, Jan 18 2017, 11:23 pm

[deleted]

MitzadSheini

Thu, Jan 19 2017, 12:16 am

Deleted because I think what I wrote was wrong.

(someone quoted I below if you're curious what it was)

Last edited by MitzadSheini on Thu, Jan 19 2017, 1:37 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Cobalt

Thu, Jan 19 2017, 12:40 am

[quote="amother"]OMG you're my sister in law shock

[/quote
Is she really your SIL?

amother

White

Thu, Jan 19 2017, 1:01 am

MitzadSheini wrote:

I just skimmed through and I don't think anyone said exactly this, sorry if I missed it.

About the nail cutting thing. I learned that you have to cut the nails "bdagah" - carefully.

the word for carefully is

בדאגה

Is the word used for carefully. Each letter is a symbol for a finger . And
you start with the left hand.

Lay your hands in front of you, fingernails up.

LH
Aleph is thumb
Bet is pointer
Gimel is middle finger
Dalet is ring finger
Hay is pinky

RH
Aleph is pinky
Bet is ring finger
Gimel is middle finger
Dalet is pointer
Hay is thumb

And the order is

LH
ב ד ג א ה

RH
ב ד ג א ה

But according to your internet source
http://www.torahlab.org/doitri.....acts/
the Oruch Hashulchan says none of this is halacha.

In the kitzur it says:
right hand- ב ד א ג ה
left hand- ד ב ה ג א
(aleph always the thumb)

http://kitzur365.org/resources.....ls-2/

MitzadSheini

Thu, Jan 19 2017, 1:35 am

Oh no... So I have it totally wrong!!!!!

Very glad that it's not halacha according to that other source!

But white's link has a very good diagram of the recommended order if you want to check it out.

essie14

Thu, Jan 19 2017, 4:13 am

cinnabuns wrote:

Electric timers have nothing to do with cutting nails.. Wink

Once you leave the house for a trip, not to go back inside.
Not shining shoes before leaving on a trip.
(Both things from the same source, don't remember it at the moment)
Anything else we did I understood the reasoning behind it, so I guess it didn't seem so weird to me..

We ALWAYS forget something and have to go back inside. I never heard of this.

heidi

Thu, Jan 19 2017, 8:14 am

Chayalle wrote:

My sis once had a friend over, and the two of them were plopped on the floor playing a game. I was probably around 4. I stepped over her friend, and she got hysterical and insisted that I step back over her, otherwise she will stop growing. She said you never step over a person, and if you do you have to step back.

I grew up with this (and many of the others people have posted like not cutting nails in order, no socks around the house-- either shoes or barefoot etc.)
I continued most of it in my home -- except the socks thing.
Anyway, when one of my kids was born we had a Jamaican live in who saw one of my kids stepping over the baby on the floor and got hysterical-- "step back over him now or he won't grow!!"
I almost passed out.
I guess it's not just a Jewish custom after all!

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