I've become a monster. Help me! (Sleep related)

amother

Floralwhite

Tue, Jan 17 2017, 7:35 am

My two and a half yr old has gotten the better of me.
He climbs out of his crib but refuses to sleep in a bed (no matter that the bed has his favorite cartoon characters etc) so for now we let him go to sleep in the crib and just moved things away so when he climbs out, it's safe for him.
Every single night (almost), he wakes up usually anywhere between 11-2 and refuses to go back to sleep in his crib (unless I sit and sing and read a story, which I'm usually way too tired to do, and there's no guarantee it will work. Sometimes I do all that and he STILL doesn't go back to sleep.) instead he makes me crazy to switch him from crib-to bed- to floor... It's crazy.
Lately he's been wanting to sleep on the floor in our room, so I allowed it, but that worked nicely for two days. Then he started waking up every hour and kvetching that he wants "a different blankie/pillow/whatever," and driving me crazy. I am a monster. I can't stand this behavior. I end up snapping/yelling at him and feeling bad about it. Help me put an end to it, pleeeease!!!

amother

Bisque

Tue, Jan 17 2017, 8:15 am

When my two year old gives me a hard time about going to sleep, I sit down on the floor of the room, blocking his exit (door is closed). I sit quietly, maybe even reading to myself, until he gets the idea that there is nothing to do but go to bed.

Waking up at night is a tough one.

amother

Crimson

Tue, Jan 17 2017, 8:28 am

Be strict with him before you become a monster - set boundaries while you are level headed!

Get a good high baby gate for his room, baby proof the room very well. Put him in either his crib or bed, depending what you want, and say you love him, it's night time, soon you're going to sleep too and you'll see him in the morning.

Leave him with his favorite variety of blankets, teddies etc., a spill proof cup of water and even a few toys. If he moves, climbs out etc. then he'll have what to do. You can come and see him but it's better not to say too much except repeating things like the gate won't open until the morning, he's safe, you love him. It might be hard for a few nights but he should get the message.

As long as you are moving him, switching him etc. he won't stop asking for you to do it.

amother

Cerise

Tue, Jan 17 2017, 10:32 am

1. If he is still napping, no more nap. When kids wake up at night, it often means that they need less sleep than you are imposing. If he is already going all day without a nap, don't have him in bed for more than 12 hours. So if he is waking up at 7, bedtime is at 7 (that when you put him in, he will sleep a bit less than that).
2. Don't make this a power struggle or it will make the problem worse. At the end of the day, you will probably "break" before him. You need to figure out how to get to him by being gentle and loving but firm.
3. Find out if he is happy during the day. How is playgroup going? Is there some other need he isn't getting? Does he eat well? Is there a family stress or new baby? Does he seem sensory?
4. encourage a comfort object
5. stay with him until he is asleep, but don't hold him or talk. Just say "I am here. You are safe. Mommy loves you. It is time to go to sleep" If he keeps talking or jumping out, put him back in and repeat and then be quiet again. You can say, "if you want me to stay here, you need to be quiet and stay in bed. Mommy isn't leaving."
6. I wouldn't let my kid in my room as a solution unless you suspect he has a fear/anxiety of something or history of abuse or neglect (in which case you need a psychologist). Otherwise, you are creating a new problem.
7. Don't let yourself become the child, screaming and throwing a tantrum. It is detrimental to his emotional health and shows him that you are not any more in control than him

amother

Beige

Tue, Jan 17 2017, 12:57 pm

We found the techniques used in the book 'Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child' By Dr. Weissbluth to be very helpful. Our 3 year old sleeps fantastically at night, rarely wakes up in the middle of the night, and if we do have to go in than it only lasts for a few minutes. Book was worth every penny.