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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Infants
10 month old people pleaser?



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amother
Sienna


 

Post Wed, Jan 18 2017, 4:29 pm
I had a friend over at my house, and my baby was playing with hers and all was great. My friend left the room for a minute, and my baby starting kvetching and crying. The minute she saw my friend had come back into the room, she turned into a happy butterfly Smile
This is not the first time she's behaved this way... And she's so little! Anyone else have experience? I don't think she's really a pleaser, I don't know what else to call it..
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tigerwife




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 18 2017, 4:33 pm
Lol! My baby is super fussy but with company she either sleeps like and angel or acts super cute and smiley! Everyone tells me how good she is and I'm like why don't you take her for the night?
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Simple1




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 18 2017, 5:01 pm
She probably likes to see and interact with other babies.
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MagentaYenta




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 18 2017, 5:05 pm
Why label her behavior?
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 18 2017, 5:42 pm
Babies have no concept of pleasing other people. Babies smile because something pleases THEM. Young children are self centered, because they don't have the ability to conceptualize "the other" until much later.

Have you ever been bitten by a toddler? When you say "ouch!" they act really surprised. Biting feels good to them, and they have no concept that it doesn't feel good to you, too. You have to teach them that "the other" is separate, and has separate feelings.

Infants are wired for survival, which means doing whatever it is to get their needs met. If what they need at the moment is to be entertained, then they will do what they think will get that need fulfilled. Same thing with food, sleep, a warmer blanket, or a diaper changed.
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amother
Amber


 

Post Wed, Jan 18 2017, 5:47 pm
My friend's son is like this. She claims he is challenging at home but he is the easiest kid in the world at my house. I babysit for her sometimes and he is so happy to just watch my daughter play for an hour or more. Kids like a change of scenery and something interesting to watch, especially people! I think it's great that you've identified something that makes him happy and you can use it to your advantage.
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amother
Sienna


 

Post Wed, Jan 18 2017, 6:01 pm
Hm.. Lots of good points.
It's actually interesting because in therapy I'm discussing whether I am a people pleaser or just a happy person by nature which got twisted, and then here goes my baby smiling with other people around and being impossible with me. She's even happy by a mirror than just playing with me. She's not interacting with the mirror but she sees herself playing with me through the mirror.. I know, babies love mirrors and they behave better with others.. she just seems more drastic.
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amother
Amber


 

Post Wed, Jan 18 2017, 6:31 pm
amother wrote:
Hm.. Lots of good points.
It's actually interesting because in therapy I'm discussing whether I am a people pleaser or just a happy person by nature which got twisted, and then here goes my baby smiling with other people around and being impossible with me. She's even happy by a mirror than just playing with me. She's not interacting with the mirror but she sees herself playing with me through the mirror.. I know, babies love mirrors and they behave better with others.. she just seems more drastic.

Well anyway, why is it bad to be a people pleaser? My dh is a people pleaser and that's one of the things I really love about him. He really understands people's needs and knows how to make them feel good. He is literally someone who is a pleasure to be around. It's the nicest thing. I hope my kids take after him!
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Water Stones




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 18 2017, 8:51 pm
My baby is 10 months old, too. But she cries or doesn't be her happy the same way like when she is with me or dh. I wish my baby is a "people pleaser" like her tatty!
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amother
Sienna


 

Post Wed, Jan 18 2017, 10:37 pm
amother wrote:
Well anyway, why is it bad to be a people pleaser? My dh is a people pleaser and that's one of the things I really love about him. He really understands people's needs and knows how to make them feel good. He is literally someone who is a pleasure to be around. It's the nicest thing. I hope my kids take after him!


People pleaser is not a positive thing Wink it means to do things that will make the other person happy, even if it means seriously compromising you. Simply put- if you like the color green and I only like orange, and you hate orange, you'll wear and buy orange hoping to get me to like you more.
Caring about others is not a pleaser, it's a caring person. Charming, relaxed, understanding.. all very different than a pleaser.
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amother
Saddlebrown


 

Post Wed, Jan 18 2017, 11:05 pm
People pleaser? My 18 month old cries the minute I leave the room, but as soon as she sees me she is back to her happy energetic fun-loving self. She is not a whiny kid that needs to be held but for some reason she comes looking for me as soon as I leave the room. I sometimes wonder how she notices Im out when she is so engrossed in her toys.
And she acts like an excited little puppy when my husband comes into the house. Jumping and shouting and turning and laughing to get his attention. Lil' stinker!
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Laiya




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 18 2017, 11:12 pm
OP sounds like your baby is very socially aware. That's a form of intelligence, and will serve her well iH! She sounds adorable.
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amother
Sienna


 

Post Thu, Jan 19 2017, 5:45 am
Laiya wrote:
OP sounds like your baby is very socially aware. That's a form of intelligence, and will serve her well iH! She sounds adorable.


This made me feel proud and mushy inside, thank you Smile she has been nor socially aware since she was a newborn, I guess this is the next step in the development..

Thanks everyone for the reassurance! I wish I could post a pic of her to say thanks, but that would out me Wink
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amother
Blue


 

Post Fri, Jan 20 2017, 8:05 am
Sounds like my daughter, who is turning out to be a big extrovert! She was 'flirting' at a year old (not really flirting, but totally charming every stranger who walked into our house). Now, at about 4 years old, we totally see how outgoing, extroverted, and friendly she is. Some babies / chidlren just love to be around people. And I have to say, it's really fun having a child who wants to interact with other adutls and isn't shy (e.g. like when she was 2 year old and I could say "here's old Great Aunt Rivka, who you never met before, why don't you say hi?" and she could say something like "Hi! I have a pony on my shirt").
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