How not to ask for favors |:-(

amother

Bronze

Wed, Jan 25 2017, 7:23 pm

Like the couple who refused every meal invitation to my parents house, then called them to ask about the Kashrus at a different family's home because their kid had been invited to a party there?

Yea people are stupid sometimes! Hugs though, it ain't fun!

DVOM

Wed, Jan 25 2017, 7:27 pm

A neighbor once asked me if she could come over to use my computer for an hour or two. She doesn't have internet access, and wanted to comparison shop something online. A few weeks later her son told my son that he's not allowed to come play in our house because we have internet access. Ouch.

thunderstorm

Wed, Jan 25 2017, 8:18 pm

I had a neighbor ask me if DH was home, since she needed her couch to be moved and didn't want to ask her Chashuv kollel husband to do such menial work. I answered " Sorry, DH is not home" even though he was. People can seriously be rude with the "best" intentions. Or at least in their farkrumte mind it's the best of intentions.

dancingqueen

Wed, Jan 25 2017, 8:20 pm

DVOM wrote:

This is just comical. Oy.

Coffee Addict

Wed, Jan 25 2017, 8:48 pm

DVOM wrote:

WHAT THE HELL??? Hypocrisy at its best!!!

Coffee Addict

Wed, Jan 25 2017, 8:51 pm

Bizzydizzymommy wrote:

I can't believe what I'm reading. Ugh. Ugly.

sequoia

Wed, Jan 25 2017, 8:52 pm

Bizzydizzymommy wrote:

Wut

amother

Royalblue

Wed, Jan 25 2017, 8:53 pm

This thread is quickly going to go south, but while we're on the subject, how about people who don't hold by the eruv but will ask you to transport something for them? Not something like medicine for a sick child but something like nosherei or a toy for their kid or a cake for their host.

amother

Black

Wed, Jan 25 2017, 9:46 pm

amother wrote:

Lol! Sure, make you their shabbos g*y!

This thread is hilarious.

DVOM

Wed, Jan 25 2017, 10:02 pm

Wanna hear another one?

My husband had an appendectomy three days after we were married (a story for another time!). We postponed our move to our apartment (we had planned to move all our stuff in together during sheva brachos week) because he was in the hospital, and then recuperating by my parents' house. When he was on his feet again we moved into our apartment, but he still wasn't able to carry anything, so all the shlepping fell to me. He had a bunch of friends come over to help with the really big stuff, but I still had a lot of heavy boxes and suitcases and odds and ends to drag out of the car and into our place.

The next morning, in shul, a new neighbor gently told my husband that while we were, of course, very welcome to the neighborhood, he really didn't think it was appropriate for a woman to be bending and lifting in full view of the neighborhood. My husband gently replied that he could, of course, have offered to do the bending and lifting for me if it was offensive to him. I guess that hadn't occurred to him.

amother

Brown

Wed, Jan 25 2017, 10:23 pm

Bizzydizzymommy wrote:

This reminds me of high school. Whenever there was any extra curricular activity we would try to arrange a neighborhood carpool. Over half the time my mother would end up driving. I once asked one of the girls who's mother NEVER drove if this time she can ask her mother. She answered, "I would never ask her. That's a lack of kibbud em". At wits end

momX4

Wed, Jan 25 2017, 11:24 pm

My kids once complained that they felt like a shabbos [gentile]. My neighbors dont hold of the monsey eruv, but have no problem borrowing cups, pampers or tissues and asking my kids to bring it over. And also nosh for the shul learning program. A pshetel for a bar mitzva boy....

I told my kids never again. If its an emergency then my neighbors can use the eruv.

amother

Coffee

Wed, Jan 25 2017, 11:28 pm

amother wrote:

it's assur. my dh doesn't hold of the eruv and he says he'd never ask s/o to crry something for him. he believes the eruv is assur so he 's not allowed to make sommoen use it.

Raisin

Thu, Jan 26 2017, 4:47 am

amother wrote:

it's assur. my dh doesn't hold of the eruv and he says he'd never ask s/o to crry something for him. he believes the eruv is assur so he 's not allowed to make sommoen use it.

I guess that depends on why you don't use the eruv. If its because you don't think it is halachically acceptable, then no. If it is just as a geder - ie you think the eruv is good, but you don't want to use it in case it falls down and you don't know, I guess that is different.

I wouldn't ask someone to carry for me either way. If it was an emergency I would do it myself, just like I would take a taxi in an emergency. But if someone bought me chocolates on shabbos using an eruv, I don't think its an issue for me to eat them.

(Just a perspective - often the husband makes the decision not to use the eruv. Of course, the brunt of this decision falls mainly on the wife, not the husband. She might not want to go against her husbands wishes, but is the one stuck at home trying to entertain bored kids)

Iymnok

Thu, Jan 26 2017, 5:21 am

With the eruv example, dh is machmir on eiruv. He does not believe in forcing chumros on his family. So I use the eruv, I push the stroller. He will put his Tallis, hat, whatever in it. But that's because he knows it's a chumra. If he thought it was the Halacha, he would not want to be machshil me.

The same should apply across the board.