What did you learn and apply to real life?

amother

Fuchsia

Sun, Jan 29 2017, 7:02 pm

The most valuable thing I got out of high school were my friends. I gained so much from being around girls my age and being able to develop socially and emotionally. For me school was my safe haven away from the dysfunction of my home. I appreciate the education I got and I may not remember every last detail but I can pick up a chumash or a history book and it feels like home. A lot of the hashkafah we learned actually mixed me up. I got my haskafa from my rav many years after graduating and I feel much more grounded now.

mirror

Sun, Jan 29 2017, 7:41 pm

amother wrote:

I want to add to my post above:

One thing I feel now that I am a "grown up," is that there seem to be certain "acceptable" challenges, that are discussed in frum schools and in frum communities, and others that were never mentioned (except on imamother!), because they are somehow "unacceptable." (At least that's the implication by never mentioning them...)

Acceptable challenges would be losing a loved one, infertility, sickness, parnassah issues, and not finding a marriage partner quickly. Challenges never discussed would be real machlokes inside families, the possibility that a parent could have a social or emotional disorder and so the normal halacos of kibbud av v'eim require consultation with a rav, abuse (parent to child, between spouses), problems of a sectual nature (molestation, issues inside families, etc), etc, etc.

As a younger person it bothered me that there seemed to be only "acceptable" challenges to apply emunah and Torah hashkafa. Now that I'm an adult, I see Hashem, emunah, and tefillah don't discriminate: we're all flawed humans, and Hashem's love can be felt in the most "unacceptable" challenges.

Amazing post! Cheers

amother

Pewter

Sun, Jan 29 2017, 7:47 pm

Sad to say I don't remember what I've learned. I feel like my memory was totally erased. Sometimes I wish I could open my notes from then but I don't have them and I didn't write good notes anyway.

So bring it on. Please, I'm thirsty for knowledge,

amother

Floralwhite

Sun, Jan 29 2017, 8:10 pm

amother wrote:

Is there a good weekly class given for ladies in your community? If so, go! You haven't really forgotten what you've learned, it's in there, lying dormant until you learn again...you can reawaken your knowledge, really! (And this time it will be even more meaningful, because you're mature and have life experience!)

naturalmom5

Mon, Jan 30 2017, 12:07 am

5mom wrote:

In limudei kodesh, I learned how to look up something I didn't know, how to read meforshim, and the historical development of halacha. Most importantly, my teachers wanted to create educated Jews. Almost all of them would say that their greatest joy was having a student ask a great question. Their dedication was inspiring.

A lot of the facts have slipped away, though I'm amazed at what remains, over 30 years later.

That's awesome.
I wish I knew women like you IRL
All I seem to meet are self-righteous, judgmental Cosmo-girls with strange customs and funny accents

amother

Maroon

Mon, Jan 30 2017, 12:18 am

amother wrote:

I disagree. Its inevitable that a percentage of graduates will end up with serious problems in their marriages, kids with serious health issues, mental and physical, serious financial issues. I came away feeling that theres nothing to fear, because if you daven, all problems will be helped.

Once you're married and experiencing problems it's too late and much trickier, to prepare for how to deal with them. We were given too rosy a picture of married life.

I don't think we could have learned how to deal with every problem in the world, but general guidelines would have been good.

Ttly didn't get this msg in my by. Just the opposite.

Taught again and again that Hashem doesn't always say yes. That typical "high school problems" are nothing compared to what life might throw at us. That we need to make sure our emuna is rock solid now for when it gets tested in the future. Ditto for middos.

Short of special-ordering adult-sized problems for us, there wasn't much else they could do.

Because in the end, though it helps to train for hard times as much as possible, experience is truly the best teacher.

amother

Silver

Mon, Jan 30 2017, 2:02 pm

Bizzydizzymommy wrote:

I believe in not sharing your fortune with people if it may make them jealous.
Yet, I also believe in " refuah lifnei hamakah". I found so many times in life that I received the $500 bonus right before sudden $500 expense occurred. I don't think of it as a loss of the money, but rather Hashem gave me the $ in the nick of time.
But I do agree with the rest of your post. Don't be arrogant, don't gloat.....

Yes I also choose to think of it this way. That's another lesson I've learned - that there is a certain amount of money that is bashert for you to have and if you lose it one way you gain it another and vice versa.

But with other non-monetary issues, there's a definite observable pattern of events that occur if I tell people about a good thing versus if I keep quiet.