How do you know that sheitel are really allowed?

naturalmom5

Mon, Jan 30 2017, 1:24 am

If that's the worse thing I ever do is in this life
I am an unfathomable tzadekes

It never ceases to amaze me how, when it comes to school stories, shidduchim, honesty in business, dealing with child molesters, etc.... at best there , oh well what can you do reaction

Suddenly with a head covering, otherwise well meaning sincere women are losing sleep over it..

Just go to YOUR ROV
Not so many are saying this and that but
YOUR ROV
And ask him to explain it to you
End of story

essie14

Mon, Jan 30 2017, 2:07 am

rimon613 wrote:

I hear so many stories of Rabbanim saying how bad it is to wear sheitels but I am not strong enough to wear only tichels and hats. For those who relay on Rabbanim who say sheitels are allowed, how do you know that you are really allowed to cover your hair with a sheitel since it looks so much like hair? Do you ever feel guilty?

You answered your own questions. If you rely on a Rav, you follow his psak.
I can substitute shaitel for 100 other things.
How do you know you are really allowed to use a kumkum on Shabbat? Or a plata?
I could go on and on....

If you don't feel comfortable wearing a shaitel, then don't. Obviously, thousands of frum women do. And many rabbis and frum women believe that wearing a scarf is preferable. Isn't it beautiful how many different ways there are to fulfill the same mitzvah!

Iymnok

Mon, Jan 30 2017, 5:27 am

The Halacha is to cover your hair. A sheitel does that. Enjoy it!
Beyond that, try to cover your hair in a way that is tznius, as in not attracting undue attention. That could happen with a sheitel or a tichel.
I do not feel guilty at all. I am not frummer than Rebbetzin Kanievsky or the Rosh Yeshiva's wife.
I feel I am doing that which will make Hashem proud.

little neshamala

Mon, Jan 30 2017, 7:51 am

Anything in the world that you do is the right thing, if your Rav told you to do it. End of story.

Having said that, I'd like to clarify a misconception that many women have re hair covering.

According to R' Moshe Feinstein zt"l, the purpose of covering hair is because once a woman is married, her hair takes on a sensual ruach that needs to be kept covered physically, whether with a scarf, a pot, or someone else's hair (shaitel). It just needs to be covered and reserved for your husband.

This is why we dont care about unmarried women's hair being uncovered. Covering hair has nothing to do with modesty.

Once youre covering your hair with a shaitel, you do need to be careful, as an aside, not to do so in a manner that is not tzanua-just like you're careful as a teenage girl, unmarried woman, etc.

Thats it.

rimon613

Mon, Jan 30 2017, 8:40 am

little neshamala wrote:

I think it's a dangerous thing to say with all the s-xual abuse and other types of abuse going on in the frum community today. Rabbis are human beings they are not G-d. Tractate Orayot in the beginning analyzes this situation that if a Sanhedrin which is the most powerful Jewish authority allowed something and one of the sages of the Torah knows that the Sanhedrin made a mistake the man cannot allow himself and others that which the Sanhedrin allowed. And if he allowed, despite the fact that he knew that the Sanhedrin made a mistake, then (says Rashi) he understood the commandment of “emunat chachamim” wrong. If we know that something is forbidden, it is prohibited to listen not only to our rabbi, but even the Sanhedrin.
But getting back to the sheitel issue, it scares me when I hear big Rabbanim like Rav Ovadia Yosef z'l saying that women who wear sheitels will burn in gehenom. He said this about women in general he said nothing about whether there is a difference if their Rav allows it or not. So on one hand I am very scared but on the other hand I can't bring myself to wear only hats and tichels.

shabbatiscoming

Mon, Jan 30 2017, 9:06 am

rimon613 wrote:

But getting back to the sheitel issue, it scares me when I hear big Rabbanim like Rav Ovadia Yosef z'l saying that women who wear sheitels will burn in gehenom. He said this about women in general he said nothing about whether there is a difference if their Rav allows it or not. So on one hand I am very scared but on the other hand I can't bring myself to wear only hats and tichels.

Wait a minute. Rimin, is Rav Yosef your rav? If not, why is this bothering you? Most rabbanim are not going to say a ruling about certain women. They give out general rulings. That is rav yosef's opinion. Other rabbanim have other opinions.
Why is this bothering you specifically about wigs? There are so many areas where this is the case.

Chayalle

Mon, Jan 30 2017, 9:11 am

DH's cousin was in Israel at a time when tons of pashkivillim opposing sheitels were all over the walls. She personally asked the family of R' Chaim Kanievsky (he doesn't see women so she asked via a 3rd party) what he says about wearing sheitels and was told he holds it's an acceptable way of doing Kisui Rosh (covering one's hair).

That's good enough for me. I don't feel one bit guilty, and am very comfortable in my wig.

Chayalle

Mon, Jan 30 2017, 9:22 am

rimon613 wrote:

Are you Sephardic?

I have tremendous respect for someone like R' Ovadia Yosef, but I'm Ashkenazi and I go by Poskim who pasken like the Rosh, who, unlike R' Yosef Caro, allowed wearing wigs as a head covering.

BTW, many years ago when my father had difficulty getting his first job after he graduated from college, R' Yaakov Kaminetsky advised him to wear a toupee instead of a Yarmulka. A week later he was hired! He did that for a few years, until NYC became more accustomed to the sight of frum Jews.

rimon613

Mon, Jan 30 2017, 9:27 am

Chayalle wrote:

[b][quote]

This actually gives me so much chizuk. I didn't know Rav Chaim Kanievsky accepts sheitels. I read somewhere that he doesn't. I am happy that his family told your cousin that it's ok.

rimon613

Mon, Jan 30 2017, 9:32 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

I don't know I am just scared because Rav Ovadia Yosef is not the only Rav that said this. I saw a presentation online about how bad it is to wear sheitels with quotes from many different gedolim about how terrible it is and it really scares me. Hair covering in general has been the hardest mitzva for me. I just want to do the right thing and I don't want to end up in Gehenom but sometimes I feel like it's just too much for me.

sky

Mon, Jan 30 2017, 9:33 am

I listen to my rav.

He says sheitels are okay as long as:
- they aren't too long (he didn't specify a length) as each person's build is different
- Doesn't have too natural a part or hairline (he'd rather I dye my part, but I don't right now) and no lace fronts.

I trust my rav to regarding sheilos of taharas h'mishpaca and kosher and shabbos. I for sure trust him regarding this.

sky

Mon, Jan 30 2017, 9:35 am

rimon613 wrote:

This actually gives me so much chizuk. I didn't know Rav Chaim Kanievsky accepts sheitels. I read somewhere that he doesn't. I am happy that his family told your cousin that it's ok.

there is a great biography about Rebbetzin Kanievsky with pictures of her wearing a sheitel. I'm assuming she would only wear one if Rav Chaim Kanievsky approved.

Roots

Mon, Jan 30 2017, 11:52 am

first of all, Rav Ovadia Yosef's psak is for sfardi women. most of the rabbanim against wigs are also sfardi, the baba sali etc. on the other habd yo have chabad which has sfardim ashkenazim, everyting but the rebbe said that they must cover with a wig because that covers the best. the lubavitch women have what to rely on becasue theya re doing daat Torah.
the litvish women moslty wear wigs. the litvish poskim, the chazon ish, harav wozner etc spoke more about the tznius of todays wigs, that women who wear wigs today dont look like wives of bnei Torah, rather actresses from [hollywood] - obvioulsy they didnt say hollywood lol.
I think if you are really scared, you can always wear a wig with something on top that way your 'safe' either way

even if you are sfardi, harav ben tzion abba shaul's wife wore a wig, and if after 120 you are asked why you wore one, at least you have who to rely on (obvoulsy if its within tzniut standards)

also:

Quote:

Rabbanim are not Gd. They are not automatically correct, no matter what.

I think you are very very wrong. a Rav is posek for you, and whatever he says is correct. in beis din shel maaleh they paskin like beis din shel mata, and if the rabbanim here pasken something, thats how they relate to it up there. ever heard of
עַל פִּי הַתּוֹרָה אֲשֶׁר יוֹרוּךָ וְעַל הַמִּשְׁפָּט אֲשֶׁר יֹאמְרוּ לְךָ תַּעֲשֶׂה לֹא תָסוּר מִן הַדָּבָר אֲשֶׁר יַגִּידוּ לְךָ יָמִין וּשְׂמֹאל:

smile12345

Mon, Jan 30 2017, 12:17 pm

sky wrote:

there is a great biography about Rebbetzin Kanievsky with pictures of her wearing a sheitel. I'm assuming she would only wear one if Rav Chaim Kanievsky approved.

Comparing her very short synthetic sheitel to the long natural ones worn by most ladies is a joke.

(I also wear sheitels, but just saying that there's no way you can use her to justify what we are all wearing.)