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5.5 yo deep sleeper and misses bus almost daily. My fault?
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amother
Denim


 

Post Mon, Jan 30 2017, 6:06 pm
He needs at least an hr to get ready. I had a very rushed morning childhood and I hated that part. Mornings were so so rushed.
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 30 2017, 6:46 pm
amother wrote:
He needs at least an hr to get ready. I had a very rushed morning childhood and I hated that part. Mornings were so so rushed.


An hour is a lot! My kids need 20-30 minutes tops. That's with breakfast and all.
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octopus




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 30 2017, 6:52 pm
Some kids are just easier to deal with in the morning than others. When my five year old has trouble getting up, I just start dressing her while she's in bed and carry her downstairs. By that time she is more alert (and cranky) and I send her to the bathroom, and then give her something to eat. Yes, it involves shlepping her around, etc. but she cannot miss that bus! B'h she has gotten so much better, and usually she hops out of bed in the morning. It's not a big deal in my book to miss a bus if you are still getting to school on time and you are willing to drive the kid. I can't drop what I'm doing to drive my kid to school, so I make it my business not to miss the bus.
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OutATowner




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 30 2017, 9:10 pm
Have the clothes set up in the bathroom or your room and he should change there.
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acemom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 30 2017, 9:21 pm
Not to hijack but wanted to point out that kids "inherit" certain parts of the parents personality. OP says she is not a morning person, so it is definitely possible that the kid isn't one either and needs more time to wake up.

On the flip side, being a morning person myself, as early as I try to wake up, my kids always beat me to it or wake up at the slightest noise I make and are immediately "up and about".

I would definitely recommend allotting more time, even if the actual getting dressed doesn't take that long.
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Fabulous




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 30 2017, 9:27 pm
flowerpower wrote:
An hour is a lot! My kids need 20-30 minutes tops. That's with breakfast and all.


My 7 year old can use 45- an hour. He gets up washed, bathroom, needs to chill for like 5 min, breakfast is usually big and he is. Slow eater so it can take 15-20 min. Then getting dressed can take 10-15 min if he gets easily distracted
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pizza4




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 30 2017, 9:34 pm
Try a family wakeup time. Wake everyone, dress them, serve breakfast. Put the baby in his highchair with cereal. He will get used to the fact that he cannot have your entire attention during this time.
I need an hour (at least) to get my household ready for school.
Have the clothing prepared so you aren't searching for any item during the morning rush. Shoes too.
I'm waiting to hear which advice helped you!
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zigi




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 30 2017, 10:04 pm
mamushkadov wrote:
I don't think 'fault' is the right word- it isn't the end of the world. However, I would not expect a 5.5 year old to be responsible enough to wake himself up in the dark, dress, and be ready to catch a bus without help.

even a tween can need help getting out of bed, once he is walking around he can get it done. but he rolls over etc.
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amother
Orange


 

Post Mon, Jan 30 2017, 10:21 pm
pizza4 wrote:
Try a family wakeup time. Wake everyone, dress them, serve breakfast. Put the baby in his highchair with cereal. He will get used to the fact that he cannot have your entire attention during this time.
I need an hour (at least) to get my household ready for school.
Have the clothing prepared so you aren't searching for any item during the morning rush. Shoes too.
I'm waiting to hear which advice helped you!

Yes. I'm planning a family wake up time for tomorrow morning. My kids don't eat breakfast at home so they don't need a full hour. And I would still want my baby to wake up later. Because his nap time isn't before 12:30-1:00. If he wakes at 7:30 he'll need a nap at 11. And I'm sometimes out at that time. So we'll see how it goes! Can't wait to tell you how our morning went! Thanks again everyone! Trying to go to bed early!! 😉
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yogabird




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 30 2017, 11:25 pm
I'd try to figure out why it's taking him so long to fall asleep.
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amother
Chocolate


 

Post Mon, Jan 30 2017, 11:46 pm
I agree with those who have said that that's not enough time. My DD is 10. She is not a morning person plus she gets ready slowly no matter the time of day. I start waking her close to an hour before she has to leave. I know she is not just going to pop up and be wide awake (the way her morning-person sister does) so I have to give her enough time. After say about 15 minutes I insist she sits up and starts getting ready. I will pull off the covers and sometimes actually pull her into sitting position to help her get going (gently, by hugging her and sitting her up as I hug her). When she was younger, I would start dressing her until she was awake enough to continue herself, even if she was really old enough to fully dress herself.

I don't think you should beat yourself up. It's not your fault this is your son's nature. Don't feel bad that other kids you hear about just pop up and get ready. Every kid is different. My own kids are different from each other in this way. Your job is to find a strategy that works for getting him on the bus on time. That might be dressing him even though he is old enough to do it himself at other times of day. It may means starting to wake him up earlier so he has time to get used to the idea that it's morning and he had to wake up. It may mean adjusting the schedules of other family members. It seems like you are trying hard to figure out something that will work and I wish you much hatzlacha!
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rachel6543




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 30 2017, 11:57 pm
tryinghard wrote:
This will sound strange, but it could be that he can't fall asleep until late because he is overtired. I used to have that with my daughter, and when I started putting her in early, she would fall asleep within 5 minutes. Try putting him to bed at 6-6:30 every night for a week and see what happens.


I agree, this might be worth trying. I found my kid sleeps better with an earlier bedtime. My kid (age 8) goes to bed between 6:30 to 7pm most school nights & most of the time he's asleep in 5-10 minutes.
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amother
Tan


 

Post Tue, Jan 31 2017, 1:16 am
You absolutely must wake him earlier.
Poor kid.

Wake him at 7:30 and let him snooze in bed for 20 min or so, then he should get ready.


I wake my house at 7 and they only bother getting out after 7:30.
They need that time to wake up.

And leave your Sleeping hubby outta this. It's hard, but harder if your morning will depend on his waking up.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 31 2017, 1:46 am
OP, have your child sleep in his clothing. I know quite a few people who have their children, even older than 5, do that. Other than that, if he needs to be on the bus at 8:45 (and might I say that that is pretty nice and late, my daughter is out by 7) and he is a slow mover than an hour should be ok. But you, as the parent, have to be on top of the fact that even if you wake him, you may have to wake him a few times. My daughter is woken up at 6:10. Then I give her 10 - 15 minutes to get herself awake. I go in to her room again and then I wait until she has turned on her light and is out of her bed. If your child shares a room and cant switch the light on, then make sure he actually gets out of the bed. Bring him to the living room or some place where you know for sure he will get dressed.
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Lady Bug




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 31 2017, 9:54 am
I'm a little surprised at the responses here. I'm not a morning person, and one of my kids inherited that, but I never allow snoozing. I think that the time to develop healthy sleep habits for children is when they are very young, at which point it is so much easier for them to learn that as soon as it's morning you wake and get out of bed right away.

I think that ultimately it is a huge disservice to children to do "quiet" mornings and dress them when they are partly asleep in their beds. Little children are very in tune with their natural body rhythm, and if you play on that and figure out the right time to put them to bed so that they can wake up in the morning and get put of bed and get dressed and start off on their own, you are giving them a huge gift. I very consciously do noisy mornings with all the lights on and no one likes to snooze when that is going on.

I know that these are all things that I needed to learn on my own as an adult, since my mother had a very similar attitude around waking. But I also clearly remember being 4 years old and having no issues waking on my own, so it's in there naturally. Don't let your own morning issues carry over to your children.
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amother
Orange


 

Post Tue, Jan 31 2017, 10:12 am
Good morning. Op here. Bh everything went smooth. I let ds rest on the couch for a few minutes and then he finished dressing himself while I made some hot cereal. Baby woke up at that time as well. And they all ate together. But this happened after 8. So tonight we'll put them in bed earlier so I can start at 7:30 tomorrow iyh. Thanks to all of you.
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amother
Orange


 

Post Tue, Jan 31 2017, 10:17 am
Ladybug, you have a point. But, I'll never forget when my mom would wake me as a teen or even younger and then leave my door or curtains open. I remember hating it!!! Lemme snooze for just a bit!! Then I'll jump out I promise! I always rushed to school but never missed a bus! But that was when I was already responsible on my time.
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HonesttoGod




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 31 2017, 12:03 pm
Wow your kids sleep until 8:45??
Wow!

But either way, it is morning, It is time towake up, who cares if the other kids wake up with him because eventually they need to get up too!

He is only 5.5 you can't expect him to understand fully the concept of waking up gettnig dressed and making it to the bus, alone. To him, if he is tired he sleeps and if he is awake he gets dressed of course he needs your help! He isn't a bochur he is a little boy!
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 31 2017, 12:36 pm
amother wrote:
Good morning. Op here. Bh everything went smooth. I let ds rest on the couch for a few minutes and then he finished dressing himself while I made some hot cereal. Baby woke up at that time as well. And they all ate together. But this happened after 8. So tonight we'll put them in bed earlier so I can start at 7:30 tomorrow iyh. Thanks to all of you.


I'm proud of you OP, you're taking charge! Expect a few bumps in the road while you're setting a new schedule, but stick with it. Consider a star chart for morning cooperation, and give him lots of praise for being responsible and a "big boy".

I am SO not a morning person, so I go understand your struggles. DD is 13 now, and gets herself up, dressed and out the door to the bus on time, while letting me sleep in. I consider this my reward for all those early mornings I put in (but I do miss those warm snuggles. She's at a prickly, cranky age now!)
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amother
Beige


 

Post Tue, Jan 31 2017, 1:03 pm
when my kids are too tired to get up, I whisper to them that if they hurry and get dressed they will still have time to a "special breakfast". A cup of hot cocoa works for one, a scrambled egg works for another .... it motivates them to get moving. I can't imagine sending my kids out without giving them any food ..at least a drink! After 8 is late for kids to be sleeping and then not eating right away is a bit long of a stretch since their last meal.
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