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Forum
-> Working Women
amother
Powderblue
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Tue, Jan 31 2017, 10:39 am
My neighbor is expecting and working. She makes all her appointments after 3 when she comes home from work. And...... Sends me her 2 kids for 2 hours!! She asks me every single time but I'm not always ready to have so many kids after school. Today I'm taking them gladly, but need to go somewhere at 5. What do I tell her. U must be back by 5?? Usually long waits at the office.
I would never schedule appointments thinking, the kids will go to the neighbor! What does everyone do?? Why can't she go Friday??? Cuz it's a very busy day for her!
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tymama
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Tue, Jan 31 2017, 10:46 am
I went to all my ob appointment earliest time doc was available and my dh watched my dd at home till babysitter started. Out of all appointments I asked my sil once to watch my dd so dh could come to the 20 week scan
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LittleMissMama
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Tue, Jan 31 2017, 10:49 am
She has two more options that most of us have done:
1. Take them with her
2. Hire a real babysitter
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amother
Powderblue
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Tue, Jan 31 2017, 10:53 am
LittleMissMama wrote: | She has two more options that most of us have done:
1. Take them with her
2. Hire a real babysitter |
Shes taking her toddler with her. And going for an hr sugar test. What should her boys do there? I once told her they have pretty good kids books. Big deal.
And she won't hire anyone. Extremely stingy and no money.
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LittleMissMama
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Tue, Jan 31 2017, 10:55 am
They can bring their homework, a book, a toy, an iPad, etc It's not easy but such is life. We all do it.
It's not your problem. Help when you can/help when you want to but her stinginess is not your problem. Repeat it over and over. She has options other than you.
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allthingsblue
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Tue, Jan 31 2017, 10:56 am
amother wrote: | Shes taking her toddler with her. And going for an hr sugar test. What should her boys do there? I once told her they have pretty good kids books. Big deal.
And she won't hire anyone. Extremely stingy and no money. |
It's kinda too bad on her. She has kids, she's choosing to have another one, she's got to be responsible!
She can bring an iPad and have her kids watch something/play games.
She can take off work once in a while and/or ask her husband to take off.
She can offer to take your kids for two hours in return for every time that you take her kids.
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amother
Vermilion
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Tue, Jan 31 2017, 10:56 am
amother wrote: | Shes taking her toddler with her. And going for an hr sugar test. What should her boys do there? I once told her they have pretty good kids books. Big deal.
And she won't hire anyone. Extremely stingy and no money. |
If you would not agree to babysit for her she would not have a choice. You are making it easy for her by always letting her kids come.
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allthingsblue
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Tue, Jan 31 2017, 10:56 am
You don't have to worry about what she'll do. All you have to do is say, "in sorry, today doesn't work for me." Let her figure it out. It's her job!
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mha3484
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Tue, Jan 31 2017, 11:02 am
I went at 7:40am or 5:40 pm. I picked a practice specifically that had hours to accommodate my work schedule and my desire to not have to bring my kids. I hate hate asking for favors so I save it for labor and post partum.
Last edited by mha3484 on Tue, Jan 31 2017, 11:04 am; edited 1 time in total
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Moonlight
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Tue, Jan 31 2017, 11:03 am
Sweetie, if it's not good for you simply say, I can't do it today sorry.
Maybe she has another option but you are the most convenient and seem to not mind. Communicate!
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rachel6543
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Tue, Jan 31 2017, 11:04 am
You're being too nice and your neighbor is taking advantage of you. It's great to offer to help out and babysit, but if it does not work for your schedule that day, then tell your neighbor sorry, but you're not available & she will have to make other arrangements. It's important to learn to be able to set boundaries & say no.
As to me, I do my best to make dr appt's in the late afternoon after work. Either my child stays in aftercare at school, my husband watches, I'll arrange for a babysitter or my kid comes with me.
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amother
Powderblue
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Tue, Jan 31 2017, 11:21 am
amother wrote: | If you would not agree to babysit for her she would not have a choice. You are making it easy for her by always letting her kids come. |
She always asks me! But I never said ok! I always felt bad for not doing her this favor. So today is the only time I said sure! I'm not being too nice at all
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amother
Jetblack
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Tue, Jan 31 2017, 11:34 am
Say yes if you can and are OK with it, say no if you can't or don't want to. Don't make it your problem and don't take it personally!
I personally try to schedule on Friday because I don't work then but I find it difficult. It also doesn't work for every doctor. Otherwise, I take off from work. Or I just don't go to the doctor (not recommended but that's what happens). My husband is not available to watch the kids in the afternoon/evening and I have given up on babysitters. Don't really know my neighbors and hate asking for favors.
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LittleMissMama
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Tue, Jan 31 2017, 11:37 am
If today is the only time you said yes, what has she done all the other times? She obviously figured it out, so what's the concern?
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HonesttoGod
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Tue, Jan 31 2017, 11:58 am
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE for your sake and for her sake, please just TELL her you can't!!
You have to go out. End of story. She will find someone else to watch the kids or take them with her and figure it out.
It is not easy but I have asked my neighbors to watch my kids several times and if I knew she felt like this I would be mortified!
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phoebe12
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Tue, Jan 31 2017, 12:35 pm
I work more than 40 hours a week. I use sick leave for my doctor's appointments if I am unable to schedule them before or after work.
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livinginflatbus
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Tue, Jan 31 2017, 4:15 pm
I ask my mom occasionally to watch my kids and most of the time she is happy too. However obviously there are times she can't and she tells me honestly . There are no hurt feelings on either side because we have clear communication . If you can't say I would love to but today doesn't work out but I would be happy to do it another time
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freshair
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Tue, Jan 31 2017, 8:10 pm
Lunch break. Always make sure someone is there to cover when I'm late in returning. Wouldn't want someone to have to help me with that every month (now every week)
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notshanarishona
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Tue, Jan 31 2017, 8:25 pm
Just say no. People are allowed to take off of work sometimes. That is understood and normal part of life.
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