Can I sell handmedowns or is that stealing?

amother

Violet

Thu, Feb 02 2017, 6:36 pm

Just curious: I have many people who give me kids clothes/dvds/toys etc and say 'If you cant use it, then just pass it on'. It was a huge headache (no offense to all those lovely people! But a lot of it was junk! Plus then I had to figure out how to deliver/donate etc) Whatever.
The point of this thread is this question: I decided to try selling a few of these products online. And was successful. What do you think? Stealing? Or no big deal b/c was mine to do as I wanted?
Also interested to hear from people who pass on their used stuff to family/friends. How would you feel?

amother

Amber

Thu, Feb 02 2017, 6:44 pm

I think of you were able to get it to the person you sold it to, you could have gotten it to someone to give away. Also, if you live in the us, goodwill will give you a free shipping label to send in donations. And the post office will pick
Up the boxes from you.

challahchallah

Thu, Feb 02 2017, 6:46 pm

I think it's completely acceptable. I usually use that line to let people know that they are in no way obligated to keep it if they don't want it, though ideally I'd rather it not end up in a landfill. Of course, once they gave it to you it's yours and you can do whatever you'd like to with it. As far as I can see, you are passing it along--just with a monetary exchange along the way.

harriet

Thu, Feb 02 2017, 6:55 pm

I give stuff away with those instructions all the time. I'd be so happy for you if you got $ for it. If I wanted to do the work of selling it, that's my prerogative but once I gave it to you, do with it as you please-sell it, use it, throw it in the garbage... I want you to do whatever is most beneficial and easy for you!

amother

Magenta

Thu, Feb 02 2017, 7:19 pm

I actually have the same question... My well to do cousin gives me brand name clothing. I usually pass on to my siblings for their kids , but there are some items I nor my siblings will use...

Op, where do you sell the clothing?

ra_mom

Thu, Feb 02 2017, 7:24 pm

The only thing that pains me is if the clothes end up in the trash after I worked so hard to maintain them and find someone who could use them to pass along to.
If you pick out what you need and sell the rest, kol hakavod and enjoy!

amother

Bronze

Thu, Feb 02 2017, 7:29 pm

amother wrote:

Goodwill, sells the clothing also. It's a multi billion dollar company. I don't know why people still think it's a charity org.
If the person gave it to you then I'm sure they don't mind if you sell it.

SixOfWands

Thu, Feb 02 2017, 7:33 pm

I disagree.

The person didn't say here, its yours. S/he said "pass it on" which, to me, means "give it to someone else who can use it, the way I gave it to you."

If its too much bother for you to deal with hand me downs, there's no shame in saying "sorry, we don't need them right now." But it doesn't pass the "smell test" that its too difficult for you to donate things to the local shul clothing drive, or to goodwill, or a shelter, or your neighbors with younger kids, or even place it in one of those boxes in parking lots, but no bother to sell them.

Amarante

Thu, Feb 02 2017, 7:37 pm

amother wrote:

Not sure if it's still true but at one time good condition brand name children's clothing did very well on eBay. Check to see in closed listings what is selling. Also sometimes not such famous brands do well in lots.

Off topic but plus size also does well on eBay or at least it used to when I a few years back when I was doing some selling and following their forums.

mille

Thu, Feb 02 2017, 7:38 pm

SixOfWands wrote:

I totally agree. I would be annoyed if I passed on baby stuff to someone and told them to pass it on when they are finished. The point is to pay it forward and help a mom out by giving them something they don't have to spend money on. I spent the money, I want to pay it forward and let the gift keep on giving. If you are just going to sell my stuff, don't take it from me.

I've had people give back stuff that I've given to them with these instructions, because they don't want to be bothered finding another owner. Totally fine. I'd prefer this over selling it.

cozyblanket

Thu, Feb 02 2017, 7:41 pm

I have been in that situation. If we can't use it, I try to think of who can- sometimes that works. But if it doesn't and the choice is between donating it to a nonjewish charity (there aren't gemachs where I live) or selling to the used clothing store, I have sold it a few times.

Fox

Thu, Feb 02 2017, 7:54 pm

I don't know what the halacha would be, but from a human relations perspective, I can see it going either way.

If someone is close enough to give you hand-me-downs, why not just ask?

"Listen, Esmerelda, I'm not able to use all the things you gave me. Would it be okay to put them in my Ebay store or would you prefer I just return them to you so you can find someone else who could use them?"

If Esmerelda just wanted to clean up her basement, she'll probably say, "Hey, do whatever you want!" If she considers it a "pay it forward" kind of thing, she can find another recipient herself.

challahchallah

Thu, Feb 02 2017, 7:57 pm

Fox wrote:

I agree--this is definitely the best solution.

singleagain

Thu, Feb 02 2017, 10:21 pm

cozyblanket wrote:

I'm sorry, why should it matter if the charity is jewish or not?

musicmom

Thu, Feb 02 2017, 10:38 pm

You can try to sell it. My experience is it's a hassle for not much money, they don't take much and you just wasted a lot of time. Even name brand things... Consignment shops are very picky and I am picky so I don't see how they see details I don't see.....

Those people wanted things OUT of their house NOW.

If you want to sell, then go for it, but when you see the amount of money you get you may wish you just gave it away as you could get more benefit that way.

amother

White

Thu, Feb 02 2017, 11:47 pm

amother wrote:

Just curious: I have many people who give me kids clothes/dvds/toys etc and say 'If you cant use it, then just pass it on'.

Or no big deal b/c was mine to do as I wanted?

Its not yours to do as you wanted if you were specifically told to pass it on. I wouldn't say its stealing - but its not all that ethical.

I suspect however you are paraphrasing what you were actually told when you were given the items. If the message was actually 'here is a big pile of old kids stuff, not sure whats here take what you want, do what you want with the rest' - its another story.