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For those who work full time
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amother
Lime


 

Post Sun, Feb 05 2017, 10:01 am
For those who work full time, 9 - 5, and have a commute of at least half an hour in each direction, how do you get everything done in a day without feeling like a complete rag at the end of the day and then at the end of the week?
Ive begun to interview for some jobs, I really want to work part time, but if something comes up that is full time, I will take it, and I just cant figure out how to do it all and not feel like a shmatta at the end of each day. And how do you do everything?
And how do you spend time with your children as well (that is why you are working to begin with)
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pesek zman




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 05 2017, 10:29 am
I work full time (8-4) with short (1/2 hour) commute each way.

Secret is doing all cooking for the week on Sunday.
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amother
Red


 

Post Sun, Feb 05 2017, 10:40 am
amother wrote:
For those who work full time, 9 - 5, and have a commute of at least half an hour in each direction, how do you get everything done in a day without feeling like a complete rag at the end of the day and then at the end of the week?
Ive begun to interview for some jobs, I really want to work part time, but if something comes up that is full time, I will take it, and I just cant figure out how to do it all and not feel like a shmatta at the end of each day. And how do you do everything?
And how do you spend time with your children as well (that is why you are working to begin with)


Sundays and cleaning help for keeping the house hold running.

Most quality time with children is on weekend, but atleast one parent is home for dinner and bedtime.

I did not begin to start working because of my children - that's your life, not mine.
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lora




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 05 2017, 10:41 am
I work full time and it's draining still if you do most of your work motze shabbos and the first half of Sunday then give the kids sind quality time Sunday afternoon and spoil yourself with some cleaning help on Fridays it works.
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amother
Lime


 

Post Sun, Feb 05 2017, 10:43 am
pesek zman wrote:
I work full time (8-4) with short (1/2 hour) commute each way.

Secret is doing all cooking for the week on Sunday.
I live in Israel so sunday is not a nothing day here.
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amother
Lime


 

Post Sun, Feb 05 2017, 10:43 am
lora wrote:
I work full time and it's draining still if you do most of your work motze shabbos and the first half of Sunday then give the kids sind quality time Sunday afternoon and spoil yourself with some cleaning help on Fridays it works.
Im in Israel. Sunday is a non starter here.
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amother
Khaki


 

Post Sun, Feb 05 2017, 10:47 am
I can only do it because I employ someone to do all my laundry and cleaning. I honestly don't know how you can not be a shmatta otherwise. Granted, this is not a possibility for many people but honestly I don't think I'd be able to work full time if I had to do everything else too.
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cm




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 05 2017, 10:47 am
Keep expectations for meals and housework to a minimum.
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Yael3




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 05 2017, 11:50 am
Like cm said, the only way to make it work is to readjust your expectations of what it means to get "everything" done. Meals aren't always cooked in our house, but the kids always have food to eat. Clean laundry often sits on the couch all week, and the toy room tends to be messy for days at a time. But the kids are happy, and the house functions. My husband and I both work full time.
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cm




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 05 2017, 12:16 pm
Also - everyone in the household takes responsibility. Children learn to make sandwiches, strip and remake their beds, fold laundry and clean their bathrooms at an early age. Spouses (if married) agree between themselves what needs to be done, when and by whom.
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rachel6543




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 05 2017, 1:00 pm
I work full time. It's not easy, no matter what you do. Things that help:

- have an extra freezer! Whenever you bake or cook, make double batches and freeze extras. (I.e. Meatballs, lasagna, kugel, bread, muffins, desserts, cookies, pancakes, waffles)
- For school and work lunches, I make a big batch of muffins, oatmeal bars and sandwiches and freeze them in individual zip lock bags. (Nutbutter sandwiches freeze well - just put the nutbutter on each slice of the bread & jelly in the middle.) I make these once every 4-8 weeks.
- Also, I keep a stock of healthier non-pershible snacks always available in the pantry for lunches/snacks - that way when I don't have fresh items in the house there is always something available for husband or kid to choose from (freeze-drier fruit, fruit leathers, raisins, Bamba, popcorn, granola/protein bars, Pop chips, corn chips, pretzels, graham crackers, peanut butter... etc)
- regular cleaning help. I have a small house, so I have 2 hrs/week of cleaning help for big chores- bathroom, kitchen, floors, dusting.
- Gardner twice/month for outdoor maintenance.
- easy fast dinners most nights during the week
- simple Shabbos menu (seriously I made spaghetti and meatballs for Shabbos dinner this week & hamburgers for Shabbat lunch. Food was made in under an hour)
- when I don't have time to make it or am sick or no more extras in the freezer, I get store bought challah
- mostly buy fruits/veggies that require very little checking for bugs
- disposable dishes! I hate being wasteful, but last year I switched to using disposable dishes for breakfast and it has just made it so much easier, since I don't have a dairy dishwasher.
- if you have dishwasher, use it as much as possible. I have a meat dishwasher and also use that as much as possible. All dishes from Shabbat go straight into the dishwasher. No washing by hand if possible. I also mostly pack parve lunches for myself, so all my lunch containers I take to work can go in the dishwasher.
- when kids are bigger, have them help with chores. My kid is 8 years old. He sweeps, cleans up his own messes, sorts & folds his own laundry...etc.
- husband should help too. My husband vacuums, takes out trash, we take turns giving our kid a bath/shower (my kid is not mature enough yet and still needs adult supervision in the shower). My husband takes our kid to and from school most days. We split grocery shopping duty depending on our schedules (as I type this my husband is doing the Costco run today). My husband is responsible for his own laundry. My husband prefers paying the bills.
- fluff and fold laundry service. I don't use regularly, since it can get $$$, but if my laundry pile is crazy high I will send my laundry out to a fluff and fold service. A few months ago my husband was in the hospital a few days, so I took 7-8 loads of laundry to my fluff and fold service. Was a big help, since I was so busy dealing with my husband's health issues.
-Amazon delivery (or other delivery service). Order whenever possible online so you don't have to go to the store.
- buy in bulk (if it makes financial sense and you have storage space). When I go to a specialty store I will stock up on non-pershiables and frozen items, that way I don't have to come back again for a few weeks or months.
- get rid of clutter and extra stuff you don't need as soon as possible. All junk mail immediately in the recycling. Junk kid toys in the recycling or given away ASAP. As soon as kids outgrow stuff (that you won't save for future kids) donate or give away. I find doing little things like this helps a lot to keep the mess down, me more organized and less cleaning to deal with on the weekends or vacation days.


Last edited by rachel6543 on Sun, Feb 05 2017, 1:09 pm; edited 1 time in total
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SacN




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 05 2017, 1:06 pm
I'm in Israel too.

I work 7-4, from home. So, granted no commute--but I'm also in school for my masters full time. So the days I have classes, I make up the hours (three hours one evening a week, and Friday mornings). My husband takes the kids to school, I take them home--once a week, a babysitter takes them home.

They eat their main meal in tzaharon--so supper is pasta, sandwiches, yogurts. Eggs. Shopping, I plan, my husband schleps. We aim for one grocery trip a week, sometimes its two.
Laundry, he washes, hangs, and I unhang, fold and put away. I do the bulk of the dishes in the evening while the kids are eating supper.
I menu plan and recipe plan, then give my husband an email with explicit instructions, and he cooks for shabbos. I mop. We both clean the bathroom, etc.

Other errands, we push off as much as possible, and try to split. Sick kids, doctors appointments, etc, we try to split.

We don't have a second freezer, a dishwasher, cleaning help, etc. We dont use disposables. We rarely use our dryer. I cant afford any of those things, not if I want working to be worth any financial gain for my family.

We try to make Friday afternoon count. He is with them in the morning, I in the evening. And of course, shabbos. It's really hard, especially with the unexpected. But you do what you gotta do.
We try hard to be very appreciative and helpful to each other--there's no other way. When I feel one iota under appreciated or taken advantage of, the system flops.

I think this is better for my marriage and my relationship with my kids than not being able to afford things we need. I see growth in both our careers, and I have a good relationship with my kids.
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 05 2017, 1:35 pm
2 words: Instant Pot (google it and thank me later)
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amother
Red


 

Post Sun, Feb 05 2017, 1:38 pm
Also - You can be treated like a shmatta (someone treats you like you're only role in life is to clean).

You can dress like a shmatta (in ragged dirty clothes).....but if you feel like shmatta - well that happens when you think that you are a shamatta, and you act like a shmatta.

You are a wonderful person, doing what she needs to do for her family. You are not a shmatta - don't ever think of yourself that way.

I think what you were looking for was "how do I avoid getting run down".... and you got some amazing suggestions!
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amother
Indigo


 

Post Sun, Feb 05 2017, 1:52 pm
Where is your husband in the picture? Is he working full time too?

I work longer hours than dh, so dh is the one who is usually in charge of supper and cleaning. You don't have supernatural powers and if you work full time and also have the full responsibility of cooking, cleaning and taking care of your children, you will run yourself ragged.
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amother
Lime


 

Post Sun, Feb 05 2017, 3:38 pm
amother wrote:
Sundays and cleaning help for keeping the house hold running.

Most quality time with children is on weekend, but atleast one parent is home for dinner and bedtime.

I did not begin to start working because of my children - that's your life, not mine.
When I said I start working because of children, I just meant, to bring more money in so that the chilren that we have and love, are able to have the things they need)
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amother
Lime


 

Post Sun, Feb 05 2017, 3:42 pm
amother wrote:
Also - You can be treated like a shmatta (someone treats you like you're only role in life is to clean).

You can dress like a shmatta (in ragged dirty clothes).....but if you feel like shmatta - well that happens when you think that you are a shamatta, and you act like a shmatta.

You are a wonderful person, doing what she needs to do for her family. You are not a shmatta - don't ever think of yourself that way.

I think what you were looking for was "how do I avoid getting run down".... and you got some amazing suggestions!
I never said I was a shmatta, but that was how I would feel, like a worn out rag, after having done things all day long.
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amother
Lime


 

Post Sun, Feb 05 2017, 3:44 pm
amother wrote:
Where is your husband in the picture? Is he working full time too?

I work longer hours than dh, so dh is the one who is usually in charge of supper and cleaning. You don't have supernatural powers and if you work full time and also have the full responsibility of cooking, cleaning and taking care of your children, you will run yourself ragged.
My husband works full time already. I have not worked for a while. I still dont but have been interviewing for some positions that would be full time.
So, right now, because I am at home, I do most of the things at home, during the day, at my leisure.
I know my husband would help, but I also know that it would be very hard for him to get into the helping mode, only because of what he has become used to (I am fine with the way things are now as I am home and am able to do things).
But he would man up and help just as much if we were both to be working full time.
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amother
Natural


 

Post Sun, Feb 05 2017, 3:48 pm
I work full time and don't have cleaning help. My husband works longer hours than I do!

Things that help-
Cleaning on motzei Shabbos. I vacuum and do all of the laundry then. We all have enough clothing to get us through the week without having to do another load, but I like to do laundry again on Wednesday nights in case I have some things that are smelly. (Toddlers!)
Meal planning for the week on motzei Shabbos. It goes really quick when you've been doing it long enough and can recycle lists!
Clean bathrooms on Friday before I shower.
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amother
Olive


 

Post Sun, Feb 05 2017, 5:35 pm
TBH I spent many years feeling like a complete rag. The only way to get everything done was to stay up late and get up early. Shabbos prep started motzaei Shabbos the previous week. I did a little every day and it all had to be done by Thursday night because in winter I got home way too close to Shabbos for comfort.

The kids had chores as soon as they were old enough to followdirections. Dh had his responsibilities too but less than I liked because of his insanely long work hours. I simplified as much as possible which meant cooking as little as possible.

My kids grew up on very simple meals, lots of raw veggies, milk, tuna, cottage cheese, sliced hard cheese, toast -- if I cooked pasta it was a big deal. And they learned very quickly that there was no such thing as "leftovers"-- it was food deliberately cooked in volume for two or three meals.

I didn't iron, period.

PS Thekids learned how to iron when looking pressed became important to them. Long before "date" meant anything other than the fruit of the palm tree.
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