Should I invite? | Imamother

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Should I invite?

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amother

Babypink

Tue, Feb 07 2017, 9:53 am

I will have my sisters wedding iy"h. I have this friend who I would love she should join my simcha and see me dressed up and tell me that personal Mazel tov. Am I ridiculous? I would love to invite her. But she has a busy schedule and if she will come then she would put in the effort to attend. I feel bad for having to put off her daily schedule to make arrangements for me. So I am not telling her anything. She may decide her own if she'll want to join. Am I crazy? But I really want to see her. This is my sisters wedding who she doesn't even know. Does it make even sense to call her up and invite?

Another note. While talking with her she sounded like she was waiting to be invited by me but am not sure.

amother

Firebrick

Tue, Feb 07 2017, 9:58 am

If your sister doesn't know her, how is this your decision at all? You can't invite random people to your sibling's simcha!

5mom

Tue, Feb 07 2017, 9:59 am

This is very dependent on your circles. If it's an 800 person event, no seating cards, etc, could be OK.

In circles where the parents send out the invites and have formal RSVPs, totally not OK.

I don't think that the kallah's sister should be inviting anyone. It's not your wedding. If she wants to pop in to say mazel tov and leave, that seems fine. Again, totally depends on what's done in your world.

amother

Babypink

Tue, Feb 07 2017, 10:19 am

Yes in our circles pop ins are totally welcomed. Even for sisters friends. There's no RSVP or special seating. My question is about me asking friend to come.

watergirl

Tue, Feb 07 2017, 10:21 am

Am I missing something here? Its not your simcha to invite someone. Especially for your reasoning. Why do you need her to see you all dressed up and why do you need her mazel tov? Show her a picture the next day.

ETA I see now that this is normal in your community. So invite if you want - but make it clear that she shouldnt have to go through a tircha for you.

Still curious why you need her to see you all dressed up.

Last edited by watergirl on Tue, Feb 07 2017, 10:30 am; edited 1 time in total

flowerpower

Tue, Feb 07 2017, 10:21 am

For sure you can invite her. Why not? Many times people come to a sibling of the kallah to wish them mazel tov.

Blessing1

Tue, Feb 07 2017, 10:27 am

Sure you can invite her!
My friends & siblings friends came to all my siblings weddings, & I go to all my friends siblings weddings as well.

amother

Babypink

Tue, Feb 07 2017, 10:35 am

Let me make this clear. My question is about asking my friend to attend or just hoping she will pop in. This is not about my sister and reserved seats. My sister won't care who will be there. As long the hall gets full of people and there's enough of relatives and friends dancing with her.

BrachaBatya

Tue, Feb 07 2017, 10:39 am

I know it varies from circle to circle. It seems that in your circle it wouldn't be weird to invite your friend. In my circles it would be TOTALLY weird and inappropriate, since she doesn't know the kallah. It does seem odd to me to have a stranger to the bride/groom at the wedding. Not sure why you want her to see you dressed up. But, if it jives with your cultural circle, go for it.

Optione

Tue, Feb 07 2017, 10:39 am

Definitely invite her.

zaq

Tue, Feb 07 2017, 10:45 am

You can't have it both ways. You either invite her or you don't. It's her decision whether or not it's worth the effort. But tbh the vibe I'm getting from your post is that it's all about you, the admiration you want and how much you want to impress your friend. Apologies if what you really mean is that your simcha would' be enhanced by having your friend there to celebrate with you but that is not the impression your op gives.

greenfire

Tue, Feb 07 2017, 12:12 pm

weird ~

but since you're asking from that perspective ... how can she read minds ?!

Simple1

Tue, Feb 07 2017, 12:35 pm

If your sister doesn't care, than why not just invite her. Tell her you'd love her to come, but no pressure, you understand if it's too hard for her.

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