More crucial-Treating others w Midos vs Tznius dress?

zaq

Fri, Feb 10 2017, 6:03 am

lifesagift wrote:

Whoa 😲 I dress tznius n I wouldn't humiliate u... what happened to u? U need a drink?

You have a guilty conscience? Why are you taking her post personally? She didn't say all women who dress modestly stare and laugh at people: she said all women who stare and laugh are dressed modestly.

mommy3b2c

Fri, Feb 10 2017, 7:08 am

zaq wrote:

Well both of those are ridiculous comments. Do you really think it's true?

zaq

Fri, Feb 10 2017, 7:49 am

mommy3b2c wrote:

Well both of those are ridiculous comments. Do you really think it's true?

The only people who have ever stared at me--really stood and stared as if I were an exhibit in a zoo, as opposed to giving me odd looks and going on their merry way-- have, in fact, been very covered up. So that part of amother's complaint I can believe.

In any case, you completely miss the point of my response to lifesagift. She is personally offended that amother claimed that all people who stare and mock are dressed modestly, and hastens to protest her innocence. yet amother did not say "all modestly-dressed women stare and all modestly-dressed children mock", in which case the lion's share of imamother members, lifesagift included, would justly be up in arms. amother stated that all the people who have stared and children who have laughed AT HER have been modestly dressed. She did not say "Lifesagift and her children have humiliated me." or "All modestly dressed women form Lifesagift's community have humiliated me."

Furthermore, only lifesagift among the legions of modestly dressed women on this site seems to have taken offense. Why is that? My conclusion is that lifesagift has a guilty conscience. Al rosh haganav boer hakova.

PinkFridge

Sun, Feb 12 2017, 8:02 am

amother wrote:

Generally derech eretz comes 1st, but how is dressing immodestly, & causing other to sin considered good midos?

No, it's not good, primarily for the woman. BUT how do we know:
- what are community mores
- how far said woman's come
- how knowledgeable she is
- exactly how she's not dressing modestly. E.g. as I've said, I can think of a few particular women who don't cover their hair and who wear pants who are not provocative. Those aren't the standards I adhere to or want my family to adhere to, but with these fine women, middos aren't an issue.

WastingTime

Sun, Feb 12 2017, 11:56 am

I didn't even read the thread but this title just sounds absurd. As if we are G-d and know what's more "important" Or as if we can choose which is more important. I get the sentiment. that people make such a big deal about tziniyus but on the way they are rude and cruel etc etc. But to me your questions is akin to asking:
What's more crucial- making sure to keep hilchos Shabbos or hilchos kashrus perfectly?

Aren't we supposed to try to do everything as best as we can? Or are we supposed to pick how to "budget" our sincerity to get one mitzvah more down pat than another?