Gemachs - do they have a stigma?

rachel6543

Thu, Feb 09 2017, 7:19 pm

I dont see a stigma with going to a Gemach. I'd say 90% of my son's warobe is from the Gemach (or thrift store) these days. My son is so hard on clothes I hate spending money on something that will get lost or ruined. Plus, since I'm saving $ on clothes, I can use for other expenses like tuition.

However, I am picky. I only take good quality things I find at the Gemach & of course it's hit or miss what's in stock.

Also, I donate things back when I can. but I only donate good quality items.

amother

Amber

Thu, Feb 09 2017, 9:11 pm

If gemachs are marketed as "anyone can shop here/take from this, it's not only for poor people," I'd happily avail myself of its services. If it's billed as, or seems to be, only for poor people, then everyone has to start evaluating whether they are truly poor enough to deserve to take from it.

Deja New in Lakewood is modeled after the first, and it seems to be very successful.

(OP, do you know of any such gemachs in Brooklyn? I'd happily shop there!)

cozyblanket

Thu, Feb 09 2017, 9:48 pm

amother wrote:

I think most gemachs are like the former, but definately if they are marketed as for poor people, I would stay away too.

But I love gemachs/thrift shops/consignment shops. I never buy new childrens clothes. I am also picky, but I find great things. But I am so not into crazy kids styles - at all. If the clothes are in good condition and basically contemporary, that works for me... no matching or following the "in color" for the season.

I live in the midwest and I know almost nothing about Brooklyn. But when I go to Lakewood, we love having a deja new shopping trip!

cozyblanket

Thu, Feb 09 2017, 9:50 pm

Simple1 wrote:

When it comes to used clothing, I feel there should be no shame. People are happy to declutter their homes, but don't want their clothing to go to waste. One issue might be- what condition are the clothes. Clothing that looks worn out can be a turnoff. Of course there are a those with more exacting who want to o buy brand new clothing.

Totally. I am picky. Not super picky but I don't take things that are not in basic good condition.

cozyblanket

Thu, Feb 09 2017, 9:52 pm

amother wrote:

I don't have money for a whole spring wardrobe for my dc so I tried a gemach. After the first time I didnt want to return. Here is what I found. Musty clothes that smelled, faded worn out clothes. and so outdated my dc would be made fun of foe wearing it. clothes. I know beggers can't be choosy, but I have good taste even though I can't afford the clothes in the local clothing boutique. I try to find clothes during sales season in departmentstores and buy it big so I have more use out of it a $10 pair of pants last two years. if I make it tight on top and roll up the leg on the bottom. Its hard when "everyone" has a pompom hat and dc say they also need one and the when I go to the gemach. It only has hats in bright colors or trimed with leather from two years ago and dd says thats not the kind they are wearing she likes pompoms too so right now she was sick three times this winter because she goes to school without a hat

I hear you 5000%. I told my daughter that we already have hats and if she wants a pompom hat, she can work and earn money and buy her own. But I won't buy her a new one when we have 2 great hats her size.

The pom pom fad is the weirdest thing. Even grown women wear them... to each their own, I guess.

smileyfaces

Thu, Feb 09 2017, 10:05 pm

cozyblanket wrote:

a pompom hat is a small price to pay for your child's self esteem.
You can make your own for $2

cozyblanket

Thu, Feb 09 2017, 10:11 pm

Of course but where does it end? They want to follow every fad. I let my kids get in style things - if they need new shoes/hat/clothes, I pay for it. If they don't need it, they are welcome to buy it themselves. I don't forbid it. I spend a lot of time helping my kids earn money for this purpose. But to think every new fad is coming to them and their parents will of course buy it - is not a healthy attitude. It happens that none of my kids really cared that much about the hats. We could have made them if they wanted to. They weren't that interested in this particular fad.

smileyfaces

Thu, Feb 09 2017, 10:18 pm

cozyblanket wrote:

As a kid my mother never let me spend my own money on anything. Money was meant to be saved. My mother also never let me have anything that was a fad if it wasn't practical or it was unnecessary.
I remember going to Shabbaton extremely self conscious because my clothes were very unfashionable and out of style (I often wore hand me downs from relatives- in good condition but usually a bit outdated). My self esteem suffered in a big way because of this.
There's an equal balance of allowing your child to fit in and going overboard. A few accessories or 1-2 in style articles of clothing can go a very long way.

cozyblanket

Thu, Feb 09 2017, 10:23 pm

Totally. I will buy a couple new things for them, but I don't go all out spend lots on new things.
It's a fine line.

Re: saving vs. spending, my daughter give maaser, and save some and spends some. But this way, she associates money (and getting things she enjoys) with hard work, not with asking the parents and then getting it just because. This attitude will serve her well in the future. And she has practice saving too!

Smileyfaces, we might just agree on more than we disagree Smile

Nice to meet you!

Ilovemaryland

Thu, Feb 09 2017, 10:42 pm

Ruchel wrote:

I consider it as taking from tzedaka. Not as being frugal. Exception may be gmachim where you actually pay something not symbolic but a real price, albeit cheap.

I used to think like that and maybe its true wheee yiu live
By my area the richest take
If. Not a lot of the stuff goes in the garbage

cozyblanket

Fri, Feb 10 2017, 1:32 pm

gp2.0 wrote:

I'm also in the camp of not being sure if a gemach is only for people who truly need it, or if anyone can shop there if they want to. I would use gemachs more if there was some clarity about who is supposed to shop there.

I enjoy freecycle and giveaway whatsapp groups.

So a few people made this point and it is a great one.
How should gemach advertise they are for everyone? Should they rename - clothing exchange, give and get. Or just when gemach lists are made there should be an indication of being open to everyone? That is hard to write on a long list of gemachs.

Please share your thoughts. Looking for suggestions.

gp2.0

Fri, Feb 10 2017, 1:46 pm

cozyblanket wrote:

Well sometimes I see a gemach with a disclaimer "for needy people only" so maybe gemachs that aren't can have a note "for the general public" or something similar. Or reframe it as "great deals, everyone welcome."

I see a potential problem though. If gemachs no longer have a stigma then all the good stuff will be gone right away making it harder for needy people to get nice stuff. If however the gemach receives so much stuff that they're fine with giving away stuff regardless of income then this isn't a problem.

cozyblanket

Fri, Feb 10 2017, 1:54 pm

That would help, thanks!

About the potential problem, no matter what there will always be people who don't want to go bc they think they won't find things in good condition, or super current in style enough. I don't see the gemachs getting that flooded. The issue is the opposite - people who run gemachs complain that not enough people come!

amother

Puce

Fri, Feb 10 2017, 2:31 pm

cozyblanket wrote:

I think clear advertising is very important. Not just specifying who the gemach is open to, but also specifying the types of clothing - like stores that list in their ads (for example): "We have Shabbos outfits, women's skirts, shells for women and girls, sweaters and tops for women, etc." And any other info that would give people some clarity about what they can expect to find. Of course, gemach stocks are somewhat unpredictable, but I think advertising general categories is helpful. Just listing "Women's clothing gemach" on a list of gemachs is probably not enough to attract a lot of shoppers.

Also, specific info about hours and how to access the gemach and whether the clothing is free or for a very low price. Certainly, "by appointment only" is going to deter busy people. As well as, as mentioned by others, info about who the gemach is for, and, if it's only for needy families, what the qualifications are.

One other point that may be relevant- some people, myself included, do not like shopping in people's home, whether it's a gemach or a regular store. Personally, I did not grow up with this and I am an introvert who likes my privacy when shopping and I find it uncomfortable to shop in someone's home. I even shy away from stores where the sales ladies hover too much and keep asking if I need help. I know quite a few people who feel the same way, though of course many others feel differently.

amother

Beige

Fri, Feb 10 2017, 3:15 pm

Deja Nu in Lakewood has clean and up to date clothing.
My girls have jumpers and dresses from Charmed, Kipp, M&M (Jewish brands) and then brands like Gap. I doubt the clothing is more then 1 - 2 years old based on the style, many still had tags.
Headbands from there are definitely only one season back, but who cares, does everyone change all hair accessories yearly.
I also like that for bigger girls the clothese are picked by others and typically dress and skirts cover the knees. It makes shopping for discount clothing much easier.
I have no problem telling people were I get the clothing.
I don'g believe it is need based, everyone is welcom.