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amother
Puce


 

Post Mon, Feb 13 2017, 2:09 pm
amother wrote:
That adds up to not insignificant support. But just practically don't most chassidish girls get married before 20? That's not a lot of time to work. And the men don't have work experience either. So who pays the Brooklyn rent in those early years?

Not necessarily. Some get married at 18-19 and many not. Don't forget most of us don't do seminary, that's another yr for us to work (and another major expense off parents).
Wife working office job or teaching plus tutoring. Husband learning with boys, leining on shabos and little from kollel. I personally worked as ta in special education preschool plus Reshab, and we had enough to even save a little that 1st yr. When I had my 1st I started working p/t, mom helped with babysitting so I didn't have that much babysitting expense, and my husband started working like 2 yrs later. I still work p/t though and b'H we get through. Bitachon is the name of the game ( plus of course normal hishtadlus!!)
We're still in a 1 bedroom apt, (couple of kids bH) and living extremely frugal. Hand-me-downs or last yr stuff on sale no vacation etc. trying to save up for down payment
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amother
Denim


 

Post Mon, Feb 13 2017, 2:19 pm
I'm not endorsing this but just want to point out - I live in an area were a lot of frum people r working off the books or enough off to still b eligible for govt program's. So even if their salary is say 50 thousand a yr, they r getting free insurace, food stamps, wic and ect... Plus no taxes or not alot of taxes and big tax refunds...
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amother
Wheat


 

Post Mon, Feb 13 2017, 2:26 pm
amother wrote:
I'm not endorsing this but just want to point out - I live in an area were a lot of frum people r working off the books or enough off to still b eligible for govt program's. So even if their salary is say 50 thousand a yr, they r getting free insurace, food stamps, wic and ect... Plus no taxes or not alot of taxes and big tax refunds...


That's called fraud.
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mha3484




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 13 2017, 2:33 pm
Not everyone gets married so young either. A very yeshivish mentor of mine once remarked that girls in our community tend to get married from 22 and up and that she really likes it. You can get college taken care of and start working. I also find a lot of yeshivish girls to be very resourceful. I have a friend whose daughter works two jobs and goes to college. My neighbor runs a very popular day camp that makes her a nice profit while she goes to graduate school during the year. I think generalizing is not productive in the long run.
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amother
Denim


 

Post Mon, Feb 13 2017, 2:35 pm
amother wrote:
That's called fraud.
agreed, but I was just answering the question of how some people afford things...
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amother
Lavender


 

Post Mon, Feb 13 2017, 2:36 pm
amother wrote:
That's called fraud.

it's not fraud if you are doing everything legally.
You are a contractor and not an employee. Your salary is under the limit. You write off appropriate business expenses, and invest the leftover business money in real estate at the end of the year.
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Sunny Days




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 13 2017, 2:40 pm
amother wrote:
I'm not endorsing this but just want to point out - I live in an area were a lot of frum people r working off the books or enough off to still b eligible for govt program's. So even if their salary is say 50 thousand a yr, they r getting free insurace, food stamps, wic and ect... Plus no taxes or not alot of taxes and big tax refunds...

This is also called generalizing.
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amother
Scarlet


 

Post Mon, Feb 13 2017, 2:41 pm
My parents did not offer "monthly support" in the typical fashion, however, they did have their children save their money for when they got married. Since I was in 9th grade I accumulated around $40,000 in the bank by the time I got married. This was summer jobs, baby-sitting, and 2 years of teaching.

We used this money as a down-payment on a house.

One of my friends as well, who's father is in chinuch did the same thing, however, in her case, her parents used that fund to cover the monthly support when her husband was in Kollel and her DH was none the wiser.

One of my friends really wanted to go to Israel and she worked in 10th, 11th, and 12th babysitting and doing odd jobs to make it work.

One other thing to bear in mind is that me and my friends who did not go the college route also didn't come into marriage with the load of student debt that our professionally educated counterparts did.
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esther990




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 13 2017, 2:41 pm
amother wrote:
it's not fraud if you are doing everything legally.
You are a contractor and not an employee. Your salary is under the limit. You write off appropriate business expenses, and invest the leftover business money in real estate at the end of the year.


Working off the books is textbook fraud. Concealing any income is fraud.
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amother
Jade


 

Post Mon, Feb 13 2017, 2:42 pm
30K for an entry level job? I don't think so. I'm a fully qualified teacher at a chassidishe school with more than 5 years experience, and not only am I barely making that (I make a good hourly wage, but full time teaching jobs are very hard to get), I made a lot less at the school I worked at before. None of the chassidishe single girls at my school are making anywhere near that. They aren't working full time, and they don't have degrees. In very few fields are there plenty of full time entry level jobs any more.
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amother
Wheat


 

Post Mon, Feb 13 2017, 2:46 pm
amother wrote:
it's not fraud if you are doing everything legally.
You are a contractor and not an employee. Your salary is under the limit. You write off appropriate business expenses, and invest the leftover business money in real estate at the end of the year.


Are you really an independent contractor?

Per the IRS, "You are not an independent contractor if you perform services that can be controlled by an employer (what will be done and how it will be done). This applies even if you are given freedom of action. What matters is that the employer has the legal right to control the details of how the services are performed."

If you're given the tools of your work by someone else, you're an employee.

Benefits. Employee.

Working hours. Employee.
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 13 2017, 2:46 pm
Can we pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeee stay off the fraud topic? Pleasssssssse!!!!
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amother
Scarlet


 

Post Mon, Feb 13 2017, 2:47 pm
esther990 wrote:


I recently was at a wedding, a yeshivish black hat type (if that matters)of a family whom I know for a fact do not have $. The wedding was over the top. Its their 3 kid (3 more to go) and even if they paid for 1/2 of it, it was way more then they could afford. I understand its not the norm, but what is the point?


Maybe they did not pay for even half. My friend from a family of no money at all married into a business man's family who was well off. Instead of splitting 50/50, the wealthier family covered more like 85% as they felt they needed a fancier event as all his business associates were there.
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esther990




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 13 2017, 2:52 pm
amother wrote:
Maybe they did not pay for even half. My friend from a family of no money at all married into a business man's family who was well off. Instead of splitting 50/50, the wealthier family covered more like 85% as they felt they needed a fancier event as all his business associates were there.



No, this was no money + a little money still does not equal a 50K wedding.
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amother
Ginger


 

Post Mon, Feb 13 2017, 2:54 pm
amother wrote:
it's not fraud if you are doing everything legally.
You are a contractor and not an employee. Your salary is under the limit. You write off appropriate business expenses, and invest the leftover business money in real estate at the end of the year.


Contactors have to pay taxes too.
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mha3484




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 13 2017, 2:55 pm
The summer following my first year of college I worked as a paid intern making $15 dollars an hour. This was 14 years ago. I had little experience just a nice friend of my mothers who told me her company takes interns. I had an office job when I was finishing college that paid the same. If you can work a full 40 hours a week at 15 dollars an hour its $28k a year. Not horrible for no experience.
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amother
Ginger


 

Post Mon, Feb 13 2017, 2:56 pm
Do chassidish and yeshivish schools hire teachers with no more than a high school degree?
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esther990




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 13 2017, 3:00 pm
My friends son just graduated from U of Chicago, which is a great school, got his first job at fortune 500 company with starting salary of 41K and he considers himself lucky compare to his classmates. Granted this is IL not NYC, but still.
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amother
Emerald


 

Post Mon, Feb 13 2017, 4:15 pm
Typical brooklyn girl here. The rich ones are the only ones truly able to support. Every other girl under 22 pretty much has hard time getting dates. How does everyone else do it in Tri state area? Either u promise some support just to get your daughter dates and make sure she has a job or savings of her own, u have grandparents chip in, u take out a second mortgage to marry off your kids, u use yerusha savings etc. obviously the money is somewhere. Crazy system. But even in college kids need help until self sufficient. We personally are in our high 20s and are already saving for a house, children funds etc on a 160k salary.
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amother
Emerald


 

Post Mon, Feb 13 2017, 4:22 pm
Just want to add that if I plan ti have my kids invest all their money in their mutual funds as they get older and have jobs etc. obviously they can spend a portion of their own money as they wish but it is crucial to come into marriage with savings. If u r in yeshivish circles this can be used for some support and if u r not (like us) higher education and down payment on a home.
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