Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Purim
I hate Purim!
1  2  Next



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother
Wheat


 

Post Tue, Feb 14 2017, 3:03 pm
When my friend told me this years ago I thought she was nuts!! But last year I said the same thing!!! It's one big crazy day of driving in traffic. Not one bite of normal food. Tired. Jumping out of bed and running to catch minyan magilla with sticky eyes and grumbling stomach. I don't go to teachers house but do go to boys rebbes. Baby doesn't nap and is cranky all day!! And I'm just looking forward for some peace and quiet when my neighbors will shut the music!!
Am I getting old too fast??
Oh and we never eat a meal normally, cause we alternate between 2 sets of parents. So we wash here, eat meat there..... And sometimes theres nothing left!
Back to top

amother
Brunette


 

Post Tue, Feb 14 2017, 4:07 pm
Yup. Same same same.
Back to top

happyone




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 14 2017, 4:07 pm
Yep! I'll take pesach over purim any time. The good news is its over in 24 hours.
Back to top

amother
Burgundy


 

Post Tue, Feb 14 2017, 4:10 pm
So make your own meal at home. If the Yom tov isn't enjoyable for you make changes so that you can enjoy it.
Back to top

amother
Wheat


 

Post Tue, Feb 14 2017, 4:12 pm
amother wrote:
So make your own meal at home. If the Yom tov isn't enjoyable for you make changes so that you can enjoy it.

That'll be really depressing! I only have 4 little kids. They like to see all cousins. I just need to focus on the positive...
Back to top

ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 14 2017, 4:16 pm
Take charge of YOUR purim and forget about everybody else's.
Find an easier schedule for megilla. Arrange your day around the seudas at both sets of parents so that you can arrive on time and sit for an hour and a half and enjoy a true meal. Give MM to neighbors and family that you see at both sets of parents and forget about the rest. Don't drive around as much. If you need to drive to rebbes, do so at night. Bring filling and non messy sandwiches and vegetable sticks for the times you are in the car.
Back to top

zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 14 2017, 4:20 pm
So who says you have to go to both sets of parents in one day? Pretend they live oot and alternate years, one year the seuda with your parents and the next year with dh's. Or ...wait for it .... do something really wild and invite the parents to a seudah that you host yourself .
Back to top

amother
Khaki


 

Post Tue, Feb 14 2017, 4:25 pm
Yeah and then they grow up and their friends come over and throw up all over.

I will take little cranky kids any day instead,
Back to top

Blessing1




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 14 2017, 4:32 pm
Maybe try one parents at night & one by day?
I don't have any ideas for the traffic & sitting in the car.... I think most people are in the same boat.
But when I started doing one parents at night & one by day my purim is way more calmer & enjoyable.
Back to top

SixOfWands




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 14 2017, 4:57 pm
ra_mom wrote:
Take charge of YOUR purim and forget about everybody else's.
Find an easier schedule for megilla. Arrange your day around the seudas at both sets of parents so that you can arrive on time and sit for an hour and a half and enjoy a true meal. Give MM to neighbors and family that you see at both sets of parents and forget about the rest. Don't drive around as much. If you need to drive to rebbes, do so at night. Bring filling and non messy sandwiches and vegetable sticks for the times you are in the car.


THIS.

Start with the morning. You can get washed. And you may be able to eat, or at least have coffee, before megillah. AYLOR. Its not recommended, but there are things you can eat.

Then come home, en masse, and have Purim Breakfast. Make it a tradition. Everyone eats. (And if you can't do that, wrap up some sandwiches, and eat on the run.)

Now, plan your path. If its too much, cut down to what you absolutely need to do. Remember the rules -- one mishloach manot. You can give others before or after the holiday, as a nice thing, but just be yotzei, and don't sweat the rest.

Does the baby sleep in the carseat? If so, make sure there's someone to stay with her in the car. Otherwise, one parent delivers. One stays home with napping baby. At worst, hire a sitter.

Go to ONE seuda. Eat. Enjoy. Visit the other set of parents another time. Or even that evening. Its not the seuda, but its still time for them to see the munchkins.

You deserve to have a good Purim.

Chag sameach.
Back to top

DVOM




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 14 2017, 6:20 pm
I can so relate! I love Purim, but it's a very exhausting day. So here is what we do:

We give out most of our 'obligation' shalach manos, to Rebbes, Morahs, therapists, work colleagues and bosses, on Taanis Esther. I have four little kids too. The two big guys, who are old enough to care, each pick one place to go on Purim day. Could be their Rebbe, but sometimes it's a friend. Whoever else they want to give happens before.

I go to an early megillah reading to get it out of the way. Some years though (during pregnancy mostly) I'd rathered get teeth pulled than get out of bed that early. On those years I go to a late afternoon woman's readings. I was really surprised to read in other posts that women are not supposed to eat before Magillah. Never heard of it before. I always have.

One of my husband's friends hosts a Purim breakfast. We've hosted once or twice. It's one of my favorite Purim traditions. Before the blizzard of junk food really gets out of hand, we all eat eggs, bagels, and pancakes. It's also a great way to give out tons of shalach manos to all your friends at one shot. Try hosting one! Your friends and neighbors will love it!

After breakfast, we give shalach manos on foot to whoever we can walk to. We load up a wagon or stroller (one year it snowed, and we loaded up a sled!) and hit the neighborhood. This is great for my kids, who really need to get out some of their manic excitement.

At this point, we generally have a baby who needs a nap. My husband takes the big kids out by car to the friend/rebbe they'd chosen, and to a (very) few others we like to give to on purim day, like my husbands rabbi and our shadchan. They take sandwiches in the car for lunch. I put the baby in, and take a nap myself. Or sometimes I'll read a book or watch a movie. Something relaxing.

Kids and husband come back an hour or so later and we hang out at home while my husband goes to mincha and learns for a little. The kids pull all the mishloach manos apart and begin the very complex process of deciding which candy belongs to which kid. There's some very serious trading and negotiating. Then we head out to our seudah, usually by my mom. We used to go to multiple seudos. It was a disaster. It's easy for me to say, because my husband's family lives in Israel, so we didn't have any other seudos that we really felt obligated to get too, but going to more than one was way too much for me.

Make Purim your own, OP. There are no rules that say that you have to spend the day in the car eating nothing but stale sour stix and cold noodle kugels. Figure out what is going to make the day work for you. For me, it's the mid-day nap/movie break, spending some time getting exercise and fresh air, and eating normal meals that allows me to enjoy the dizzy, frantic energy of the rest of the day.
Back to top

flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 14 2017, 8:27 pm
First of all, the good news is that it's just 24 hours.
Second of all, I make sure my kids get a full healthy breakfast before leaving the house. It's a good feeling to know they started off their day eating something normal.
Third of all, take turns. One year eat a meal by your mom and the next year by your in laws. Not being here
Nor there is hard!!!
Fourth of all, put your baby to nap during the meal. You'll be relaxed and the baby will be happier after.
It's all about the planning
Back to top

amother
Wheat


 

Post Tue, Feb 14 2017, 8:31 pm
Thanks everyone! I can try going to one parent each day, and sandwiches in the car is a great idea. Cause at home kids are eager to dress up and go to their places. I'm pregnant and will eat before Megillah! And will try a nap with baby during the day! That would be great!!
Back to top

amother
Coral


 

Post Wed, Feb 15 2017, 6:48 am
we usually have a late night and hopefully get up later than a regular morning. when DH is in shul I get dressed, eat a big healthy breakfast with kids like eggs, cottage cheese and veggies, rather than bread. protein holds us longer and this way I know we all got our healthy food "for the day". sandwiches for lunch in the car is a great idea.
if meals at your parents/in laws don't work out, schedule 45 minutes for a quick yummy meal at home and then head out to your parents to party. you don't have to rely on their meal to fill up.

Purim is such a fun day since I made the right changes that suit kids and DH/my needs.
Back to top

besty




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 15 2017, 1:30 pm
zaq wrote:
So who says you have to go to both sets of parents in one day? Pretend they live oot and alternate years, one year the seuda with your parents and the next year with dh's. Or ...wait for it .... do something really wild and invite the parents to a seudah that you host yourself .


this

we used to do the same thing. used to go to 2 grandparents to eat the meal at night. we used to run here and there and not have a normal meal anywhere. this year will just go for a few minutes to one to give shloach munos and well go eat the meal by the other one and nxt yr will do just the opposite.
Back to top

Cmon be nice




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 15 2017, 5:09 pm
Great ideas but FYI but Purim is mot shabos this year so by the time everyone's finished megilla, its late. Oh, did anybody mention that we change the clock this year (in the US) on Purim day! Maybe the shuls will accommodate by davening later then they usually would, as the day is longer
Back to top

Another mom




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 15 2017, 6:16 pm
zaq wrote:
So who says you have to go to both sets of parents in one day? Pretend they live oot and alternate years, one year the seuda with your parents and the next year with dh's. Or ...wait for it .... do something really wild and invite the parents to a seudah that you host yourself .

Exactly! You don't go to have to go to both! And if U live in Israel, you can't do both on Pesach either. So what?? Switch off and enjoy
Back to top

amother
Cerise


 

Post Wed, Feb 15 2017, 6:18 pm
Just enjoy! 30 years ago most Dads worked on Purim and we just had a seuda like at 4....
Back to top

eschaya




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 15 2017, 6:21 pm
Another vote for taking control and owning your own Purim. I used to dislike Purim (for other reasons) until I decided to make my own seudos and invite people with whom I wanted to spend time, indulge in fun themes and creative meals.
Back to top

amother
Dodgerblue


 

Post Wed, Feb 15 2017, 7:22 pm
Purim for us took on a whole different feel 6 years ago when my father was nifter a month before Purim. Shloshim ended Erev Shabbos, my father's birthday would have been on Shabbos, and then Purim was Motzei Shabbos/Sunday. What a whirlwind of emotions! Plus, I had a baby 7 weeks before he was niftar, and that baby was 6 weeks premature. Purim became just us, and it was beautiful. Because my father was niftar in Adar Alef, some years the yahrtzeit falls the week of Purim if it's not a leap year. Like this year. And it's tough. His yahrtzeit falls on Taanis Esther this year.

So, we all just have a nice time with just us. We enjoy delivering shalach manos together. This year the JCC purim carnival is that day, so we'll spend some time there. Then we'll have a nice seudah together. No craziness. No guests. No drunk bochurim.
Back to top
Page 1 of 2 1  2  Next Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Purim

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Why does everyone hate on Maaser so much?
by amother
57 Today at 6:26 pm View last post
Purim and babysitters
by amother
6 Yesterday at 9:32 am View last post
Purim pkg from comfort health
by amother
2 Tue, Mar 26 2024, 7:47 pm View last post
How do you Purim? And do you like it?
by amother
6 Tue, Mar 26 2024, 1:46 pm View last post
Best purim takeout lakewood
by amother
3 Tue, Mar 26 2024, 6:17 am View last post