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Forum
-> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
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amother
Brunette
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 Mon, Feb 20 2017, 1:29 pm
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My older 5 son has a lot of problems (abuse, ptsd, ocd...). He is constantly taking out his feelings on his 2.5 year old brother. He bullies him, is very jealous, and hurts him. Today I bought my 2.5 year old a present in the store while his brother was in school. When we got home, my 2.5 year old started getting nervous that when his brother came home he would take it. He's right. And it will be a war about this for the next month. We aren't getting anywhere with my older son. So I told my 2.5 year old to hide the toy in his dresser and take it out again when his brother goes back to school tomorrow. The look of glee on his face showed me how strongly the constant bullying is affecting him. I also teach him that if his brother hits him he can hit him back. I know this isn't a long term solution. I just can't bear to see my older one ruin my next one.
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FranticFrummie
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Mon, Feb 20 2017, 1:33 pm
Oh, that's so hard! Your older one is acting out from being miserable, and your little one is the baby you need to protect. There's no easy answers for that, and sometimes you just have to find a way to make peace short term, while you work on the long term.
I hope the 5yo is getting lots of therapy and services.
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amother
Copper
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Mon, Feb 20 2017, 1:51 pm
I don't think you're doing wrong at all.
Hatzlacha! Hugs!
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debsey
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Mon, Feb 20 2017, 2:56 pm
I've had this dynamic in my family as well - it's really hard to be the sibling of a child who is suffering!
Have you considered filial therapy, which is like family therapy but for the brothers and you together? The point would be to help the two of them interact in a healthy manner, and to help the older one learn to come to you with his frustration instead of attacking the younger one. If you get the right therapist, it can be golden.
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