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Forum -> Parenting our children
Am I a bad mother?
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amother
Forestgreen


 

Post Wed, Mar 01 2017, 3:35 am
No wonder moms go into depressions.
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mommy3b2c




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 01 2017, 3:45 am
amother wrote:
What don't you understand?


What exactly you wrote that is possibly bad mothering?
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amother
Cerise


 

Post Wed, Mar 01 2017, 4:10 am
[quote="mommy3b2c"]What exactly you wrote that is possibly bad mothering?[/quote

That my kids,see me sleeping on the couch during the day.
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mo5




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 01 2017, 4:15 am
[quote="amother"]
mommy3b2c wrote:
What exactly you wrote that is possibly bad mothering?[/quote

That my kids,see me sleeping on the couch during the day.

So b"h your children learn that mothers need rest too.
Maybe even a good nap in your bed? Especially if, as you say, there are other adults around.
I am unashamed to tell my kids when I am tired and need to lie down. It's good for them to know that mothers need to take care of themselves too
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mommy3b2c




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 01 2017, 4:33 am
[quote="amother"]
mommy3b2c wrote:
What exactly you wrote that is possibly bad mothering?[/quote

That my kids,see me sleeping on the couch during the day.


Sorry. I still dont get it.
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 01 2017, 5:45 am
I second everyone else. People with kids nap. You may need more sleep because of your meds, I assume you're on an optimal dose.
I'll take a different angle. Do your kids get along well? Is there bloodshed (ykwim) if you're not there to moderate? If things are going well while you're napping, revel in the lovely kids you're raising and let them know that it's a pleasure to be around them.
May you have much nachas, and may the steps you've taken to achieve health (and I'll bet they were courageous steps, they usually are) lead you to be an enduring aim habanim semaicha, a happy mother, and I'll add, of happy children.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 01 2017, 6:19 am
If you have to ask "Am I a bad mother?", then the answer is "no", because a bad mother would never ask that kind of question. Just by asking, that makes you a GOOD mother!

If you are a bad mother for napping, then I must be the worst mom on the planet. I also take medication, and in addition I have chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia. I woke up at 3:30pm today, after sleeping for 12 hours straight.

I agree with everyone else. If you have another adult in the house, AND your oldest is 12, then you have your bases covered and then some. It will not damage your children to realize that mothers get tired, and need rest. It's perfectly normal.
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zigi




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 01 2017, 6:25 am
kids will only remember that parents like to take naps. I remember my mother taking Shabbos naps, I wanted to play now as an adult I get it.
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amother
Hotpink


 

Post Wed, Mar 01 2017, 6:37 am
mommy3b2c wrote:
Sorry. I still dont get it.


I don't get it either.
I never knew there is something wrong with sleeping on the couch during the day.
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gp2.0




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 01 2017, 6:39 am
Sounds like you're feeling guilty that you can't be constantly "on" and available for your kids. Maybe the reasoning is that other people can do it, so why can't you? But the truth is most mothers can't be "on" for their kids all the time. We all have hectic lives with a lot going on and personal needs that need to be taken care of.

When your kids see you sleeping, they won't feel like you're neglecting them. They'll feel like you're doing something important that you need to do so that you can be your best self. Don't feel guilty for taking care of your personal needs. Feel proud that you can teach your kids by example that everyone is an individual with needs they need to take care of, and no one, not even a mother, has to put other people's needs ahead of their own 100% of the time, because putting other people's needs before your own would be neglecting yourself.
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