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Child in medical isolation vs. Purim celebrations for others
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 05 2017, 8:45 pm
Giant hugs, and I haven't read all replies, but maybe you can find a middle ground. Maybe each child can go out to a friends/fun activity at some point during the day, try to stagger it so everyone isn't out at once, and set one time for everyone to be together at home. For example, maybe two go out to megillah while two stay home and have megillah read there - and hopefully you can find a really fun person to do the reading. Then you all have a lunch seudah together as a family. Then the younger ones get to go out and bring mishloach manos to their friends. Then they come back and the teens get their turn to go out with their friends. Of course with the details varying according to your family's needs and schedules, but there's a family time and then staggered times to go out without leaving the 6-year-old as the only one home. Everyone gives some time to the family's need, while not losing out on their entire fun either.
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Notsobusy




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 05 2017, 10:47 pm
I like Seeker's idea to stagger the times when you're other kids get to leave.

Besides for Chai Lifeline you may want to contact Misameach.org, they may have some ideas for you.
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eschaya




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 05 2017, 11:48 pm
Just thinking of ideas that can
1. allow your 6 yo to feel less left out, that may also have the added benefit of
2. encouraging the older kids to enjoy being home for longer

Would your 6 yo would enjoy watching megillas lester (my kids loved it)? Pop a bunch of popcorn, maybe turn a room into a movie theater? Maybe someone else can weigh in on other fun purim movies.
What about a scavenger hunt in the house (or around the block) with fun clues and great prizes? This can entice the older kids to stay home just a bit longer, and also make for a super fun Purim for the 6 yo who has to stay home. Big prize for the winner.
Does she have friends she can skype with? Or what about arrange a skype date with some cousins or friends in a far away city that she wouldn't visit no matter what? So no missing out on visiting, but getting a chance to connect with faraway family and friends.
Or have her be "in charge" of the Purim seuda at home. Maybe she can poll her siblings and come up with a menu that you and she can make together. And perhaps she can design the decor for the home seuda... if she's involved, she is a lot less likely to feel left out of the fun.
Hatzlacha, and refuah shelaima
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ROFL




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 06 2017, 12:22 am
How about an arts and craft room With different types of crafts for all do do on their own level. Can you have. A freind go to michaels or other art store to buy things for you to do at home.
Do you have a bikurncholim in your town
Can you have your 14 year old and her friends come to your home and create a play or sing and dance - outside your home on your front lawn. And then 6 year old can participate from inside thru a window. ( while the older one has time with her friends )
Whatever happens refuah Shelima and may this all be a blip in everyone's life
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Miri7




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 06 2017, 2:39 am
I was thinking along the same lines as ROFL. can you get the older kids into planning something fun for your DD? A Purim spiel? That DD could watch from a safe distance? Put the word out that your DD can't accept food MM but that cards would be very much appreciated? Could you get a magician to come or something exciting?

Also, is ther an online support group for parents whose kids have had bmt? I bet you could get a lot of good support and ideas from other moms who have had to navigate all of these issues before.

Wishing your DD a refuah shleimah
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amother
Pearl


 

Post Mon, Mar 06 2017, 3:32 am
We usually have very loud active Purims. We all go to megillah, we all go around the neighborhood together to deliver shalach manos, we have a big loud seuda that lasts into the wee hours.

This year, due to a medical issue and other circumstances, I am unable to do these things. My children range in age from 1-14. I would never make them miss out on the usual festivities to stay home with me. They will all go to megillah with my husband and enjoy. I will hear megillah on my own either at a much later minyan or with someone in the house. My family will all go deliver shalach manos together for hours, I will stay at home with the baby. I will be making a small family seuda and afterwards, my husband and kids will be going to a large communal seudah.

Why should I make the kids miss out because of my circumstances?? Why should everyone be miserable because of me? I'm fine staying home, they want to have fun, everyone wins.
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Liba




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 06 2017, 3:56 am
amother wrote:

Why should I make the kids miss out because of my circumstances?? Why should everyone be miserable because of me? I'm fine staying home, they want to have fun, everyone wins.


Refuah shelayma!!

I agree, when the mother is the one with the medical issues, as has been my situation too many times, the family continues, fun continues and we keep things as normal and fun as possible for the children.

The problem here is, there are also the feelings of a 6 year old little girl who has experienced things that we all wish we could have protected her from, who can't go to the parties and who could use a lot of cheering up.

She isn't a grownup who can paint a smile on her face and pretend she doesn't care, nor should she be expected to do so.
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Liba




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 06 2017, 4:02 am
OP is your six year old napping during the day? I know post BMT there is often the need. Could you plan quiet time for your daughter to nap to coincide with a fun out of the house activity for the rest of your children?
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amother
Pearl


 

Post Mon, Mar 06 2017, 4:16 am
Liba wrote:
Refuah shelayma!!

I agree, when the mother is the one with the medical issues, as has been my situation too many times, the family continues, fun continues and we keep things as normal and fun as possible for the children.

The problem here is, there are also the feelings of a 6 year old little girl who has experienced things that we all wish we could have protected her from, who can't go to the parties and who could use a lot of cheering up.

She isn't a grownup who can paint a smile on her face and pretend she doesn't care, nor should she be expected to do so.


But a child that age, post op, doesn't need to be out at parties to enjoy. As others suggested, the siblings can dance, put on a show, etc. and there's still the family seuda. The child can be entertained and the siblings don't have to miss their usual Purim festivities.
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Marion




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 06 2017, 12:55 pm
Can you do "v'nahafoch hu"? Hear megillah, make a breakfast/brunch seudah at home for everyone and then deliver shalach manos/let the kids go to their friends?
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amother
Orchid


 

Post Mon, Mar 06 2017, 2:45 pm
So tough. I'm so glad your daughter is recovering and able to come home!

Tell all the kids that they have to compromise, because that is what families do. Have each person pick one activity that is most important to them to go out for (either megillah or a party or something else), and then one activity they are willing to stay home for (megillah, party, etc). Then have the other kids brainstorm how to make both the activity they are home for AND the activity they are out for (because part of the responsibility of being in a family is to make sure that anyone left behind still has a good time), be extra fun - this will help make them feel better about staying home for what they are, may even make some of the activities appealing enough that some of your kids may voluntarily stay home, and will also make your 6 year old feel like they care and that she can have fun even at home on purim.

As for seudah - consider fun food - make homemade pizza (salad on the side) and have a make your own ice cream sundae afterwards. Kids love these kinds of things because they are party foods and special treats.
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Liba




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 06 2017, 2:53 pm
amother wrote:
But a child that age, post op, doesn't need to be out at parties to enjoy. As others suggested, the siblings can dance, put on a show, etc. and there's still the family seuda. The child can be entertained and the siblings don't have to miss their usual Purim festivities.


Six is first grade! That is prime age for parties and fun. We aren't talking a 2 or 3 year old who doesn't know what "should be" or even a 16 year old who "should understand." First graders know what is going on, what should be, what happened last year and what their friends and siblings are up to.
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