How much $ do you tip Rebbi for purim

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amother

Pumpkin

Wed, Mar 08 2017, 12:09 pm

My son's (RW Yeshivish) Yeshiva sent out an email reminding everyone purim is a good time to gift the rebbeim for everything they do. My son LOVES his Rebbi and he is great. We are pretty tight financially. I would tip whatever is appropriate but I do not have extra funds over and above that.
I did not send $ at chanuka time. How much do you think is normal to tip now?

amother

Dodgerblue

Wed, Mar 08 2017, 12:34 pm

You already pay them for everything they do.
Have your son draw a nice card.

amother

Puce

Wed, Mar 08 2017, 12:39 pm

I can't help you with what is appropriate but if your son loves the rebbe why not include a note telling the rebbe that?

amother

Green

Wed, Mar 08 2017, 12:54 pm

I really think the main thing is to write a nice letter to the rebbe thanking him for all his efforts.

This summer an older teenage boy was complaining to me after being a counselor in a day camp. He said he puts so much effort into the boys and he did get some tips, but it would have been even nicer to have gotten a thank you from the parents, it would have meant more then the checks. It really hit home that a meaningful thank you is important to those who invest so much in our children and they should know how much it means to us.

amother

Maroon

Wed, Mar 08 2017, 12:54 pm

In our circles, (chassidish/ heimeshe Lakewood ) we tip between $40.00 to $100.00 for every rebbi. I know its a lot but that is the norm!
I guess ask around in your sons yeshiva what the norm is for your yeshiva.

amother

Pumpkin

Wed, Mar 08 2017, 1:01 pm

I will definitely include a personalized thank you letter!
As far as $, I understand that it is an accepted gesture. I am embarrassed to ask real live people.

sourstix

Wed, Mar 08 2017, 1:01 pm

Yes in Lakewood for some reason we tip a lot and pay a lot of tuition. At least it's a lot for me.

chanee

Wed, Mar 08 2017, 1:06 pm

Wow! I thought when I will give $50 ill give a lot

amother

Blonde

Wed, Mar 08 2017, 1:16 pm

amother wrote:

You already pay them for everything they do.
Have your son draw a nice card.

Do you tip waiters? Or just draw a card for them?

sky

Wed, Mar 08 2017, 1:18 pm

chanee wrote:

Wow! I thought when I will give $50 ill give a lot

In Lakewood I was under the impression that $50 is average to high in Litvish schools.

It is a lot especially when you have multiple children -and I'm sure the rebeim know it and appreciate it especially because they are giving to their children's rebeim and they know how tight it is.

As others said I think a personal heartfelt thank you is most important.

amother

Babyblue

Wed, Mar 08 2017, 2:43 pm

Those of you who tip the Rebbi:do you give cash or check? Wondering if check is a better idea, in case the envelope gets lost, cash would be lost too... what do you think?

doctorima

Wed, Mar 08 2017, 3:03 pm

OP - it really depends where you live. If there's anybody else in the school that you're somewhat close with, I don't think it's at all embarrassing to ask what's the normal range of gifts that are given. If you can afford it, I would definitely try to give at least $50, especially since you say DS is so happy with him.

BrachaBatya

Wed, Mar 08 2017, 10:32 pm

This is such an interesting example of cultural norms and differences between frum Jews. In my circles, we do not tip at Purim - just MM gifts but not money to rabbis, teachers. We pay so much tuition, plus all of the school-wide fundraising expectations - there are no tips to the rav or others around Purim.

amother

Black

Wed, Mar 08 2017, 11:35 pm

Since Lakewood was mentioned, what's a common amount for morahs and assistants in schools and playgroup morahs?

Also, am I correct that we don't put money for principals? It just would feel weird.

amother

Emerald

Wed, Mar 08 2017, 11:47 pm

As a morah in Lakewood I have to say so much of this depends on your financial ability. Morahs are usually pretty aware of the situation and truly appreciate everything they get. I've gotten checks for over $100, checks for $20.00 and gifts worth $9.99 - all tremendously appreciated. The main point is the card - they should be heartfully written. They go such a long way to giving your child's teacher a much needed (at this point in the year) boost.

I will add though that Lakewood, as a town, seems to really take the concept of showing hakaras hatov to teachers very seriously and I think that is a beautiful thing. Ever since starting to teach her, I've gotten smaller, plainer mishloach manos and nicer gifts/money. It makes more sense and means so much.

So thank you to all the moms who realize how much we put into your children. It's our pleasure, but everything you do to show your appreciation goes a very, very long way!

amother

Ivory

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 12:13 am

amother wrote:

Do you tip waiters? Or just draw a card for them?

Waiters hourly wage is in most states below minimum wage for 'other' types of work. the 'understanding' for lack of better term is in that industry the customer pays a portion of the salary of the waiter via tip. The rest of what you are paying for when you buy your meal covers the cost of the food itself, kitchen labor, other overhead, and profit to the owner.

Tuition is supposed to go primarily towards teachers wages, and secondarily towards others staff salaries, and general overhead. The 'reminder' from the principal to 'tip' the Rebbe is an admission that the Rebbe's salary is lower than it should be. (which is likely because tuition is lower than it should be, or the 'donors' aren't giving enough this year). It also lets the Rebbe earn some money 'under the table'.

So when I read "tip" the Rebbe, what I read is "we aren't paying him enough". I don't think its hakaras hatov, I think its - he needs the money. Hakaras hatov can be achieved via the card - with a nice note.

amother

Babypink

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 12:48 am

amother wrote:

This is such a nice post, liking it is not enough!

Too often, especially around Purim and Chanukah, the papers are full of letters from morahs complaining abt their gifts or tips or lack thereof.

Your grateful attitude is so refreshing to hear!

pizzapie

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 2:28 am

Wow! My oldest is in preschool and I only have girls...but I'm honestly floored. I'm all for showing hakaras hatov to teachers but the monetary expectations seem very high. I live oot so maybe things are different here. Are parents expected to give large cash gifts to the teachers as well? What happens if each child has 3 teachers? That's a lot of money!

amother

Ruby

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 3:41 am

amother wrote:

Do you tip waiters? Or just draw a card for them?

I think that is completely different a waiter makes minimum wage where most rebbis especially in my community come home with a nice salary! I don't think it's fair to compare the 2

amother

Beige

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 4:02 am

amother wrote:

Do you tip waiters? Or just draw a card for them?

You tip service providers, but not professionals. When you tip a rebbe, you're treating him more like your garbage man than your lawyer.

I'm inclined to agree with the poster who thinks it's a way to get part of the rebbe's salary paid in cash, under the table.

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