Would you move? | Imamother

amother

White

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 6:20 pm

I moved from a nice-sized 2 bedroom apartment (in a condo-style house) near my parents to a private 4 bedroom private house with a large property that's a drive away. My Dh and I are so much happier here!

amother

Mauve

Thu, Mar 09 2017, 8:10 pm

Depends on what your priorities are. Yours and nobody else's. Someone I know was in a 1BR with 3 kids and about to sign on a 4br house with a LEGAL basement apt that she could rent out ,across town from her folks. Forty minutes by car,hour and a half to two hours by public transit from the old place. Last minute she was offered a two BR rental in the same apt complex as her parents. She grabbed it and never looked back. Never regretted it for a second. Having family right there made all the difference, first to her when her parents helped her when her kids were young, and later to her parents when they were aging and she helped them.

amother

Forestgreen

Fri, Mar 10 2017, 11:51 am

op here
thanks for all the replies you've given me a lot to think about.
I wish this weren't the case but if I move my family will not come to visit its just a fact and I need to go in to it knowing that. It will always be on me to keep up the relationship because I'm the one that moved away.
Does anyone know anyone in the ny area who is good with people that can help us figure out what the right move is? DH and I are both very confused now and I think talking it out with an unboased 3rd party could make all the difference

amother

Royalblue

Fri, Mar 10 2017, 4:41 pm

If your living in an expensive neighborhood then think about your kids future too. If you move now when the kids are young and hopefully the standard of living will be easier then where you live then your are giving them a lifeline. Many times parents go to live near where their kids are when they get elderly. That's if most of the kids are in another place. You really can't know how things are gonna turn out. But giving them another chance rather then living in cramped quarters is something to think about.

Some people would not move away from their parents or their plac of comfort that they are used to. I really am that way but I had to give my kids a decent place to live in. Brooklyn is a disaster in so many ways. No place is perfect. I'm happy what I did. You need to know for yourself if this is a thing your willing to commit to. Some people come for the summer and try it out to see if it's for them.

That will be an eye opener for you to try it. Hatzlacha. Some people would not move because they want to live near their rebbe or their community.

You have to make a desicion for yourself what is important to you.

amother

Royalblue

Mon, Mar 13 2017, 5:55 am

Op I'm reviving this. Just because I thought of you on Purim. I live 1.5 hrs away from parents. And no family here. If you are close to your family and you don't want to give it up that's a valid concern to stay. Because I didn't have close relationship s with siblings even when I lived closer. So I really can't answer. Family relationships is important. If your siblings won't help you out with that then it would be hard. Though you can make good friendships.