Ew....My cleaning lady.....

Chana Miriam S

Fri, Mar 10 2017, 9:22 am

amother wrote:

If u think thats bad, mine doesnt flush twice for some reason so if she still has tissues after flushing once, she puts dirty gross tissues into my bathroom garbage. I tried telling her about it so she stopped but now shes back to it.

What on earth is this about? Get a decent toilet. Flush one time, like the rest of us. Save water.

octopus

Fri, Mar 10 2017, 9:41 am

The op said she doesn't even let her children use her bathroom. It's just her and dh that use it. I'm guessing the op doesn't use any of her other bathrooms, just hers. Do I think it's strange she's cringing if someone else uses her bathroom ? yes, but she is at least equally grossed out if her kids use it, too. She is an equal opportunist at least.

little neshamala

Fri, Mar 10 2017, 9:49 am

OP I dont think your problem is germs. If what was bothering you was germs, then you wouldnt want her using any of the bathrooms in your house, because you care about your children. Nor would you want any other stranger or guest to use any of your bathrooms. And you would allow your children to use your bathroom, because you are not concerned about their germs.

So what is it then?

You sound like youre very bothered that, of all bathrooms, your master bath is your special, private, wonderful little abode that is off limits to all outsiders...because it is your special, private place. And of ALL people, to use your private sanctuary, not just an outsider but a LOWLIFE a woman who CLEANS for a living and doesnt even speak your language....that SHE is the one using your personal royal toilet....that is what makes you feel like barfing.

And that is what makes us feel like barfing back.

zaq

Fri, Mar 10 2017, 9:52 am

little neshamala wrote:

I'm quibbling, but OP said nothing about her housecleaner's language skills.

little neshamala

Fri, Mar 10 2017, 9:56 am

zaq wrote:

I'm quibbling, but OP said nothing about her housecleaner's language skills.

no she didnt. She didnt say anything at all about why shes so violently grossed out by her cleaning lady.
Im just guessing....because the germ theory totally makes no sense.
If her children, who are off limits to her bathroom, would use it, she would not have posted such a traumatic post.
It's just the overall vibe.

Of course I could be wrong

little neshamala

Fri, Mar 10 2017, 10:02 am

Im just imagining the post..."ewwwwn YUCK I am so grossed out, ewww barf barf barf my child used my personal master bathroom eeeewwwwww im so grossed out barf barf"

Obviously she would never post that.

So whats the difference between her kids being off bounds and the cleaning lady?

Thats where I based my post from

amother

Red

Fri, Mar 10 2017, 10:09 am

Op here.
Octopus was correct that I do not use any other bathroom in my house and I do like the comfort of having my own private place. I'm sorry if I took for granted that this is a luxury for most people. I live in an area where this is common. I apologize if I came across as an elitist.
Back to my original issue, I would have a very strong reaction to anyone using my bathroom, but of course if it was a child of mine it wouldn't be as extreme. I consider my toilet like my underwear. I put that part of my body on it and wouldn't share it. Maybe I'm unusual or crazy, but the fact is that it grosses me out. I came here to get advice on how to bring this up to my cleaning lady without offending her, but all I got was attacked.
I'm sorry that you can't relate to my predicament but you are entitled to get grossed out by other things. This is my peeve.

little neshamala

Fri, Mar 10 2017, 10:11 am

OP-having said what I did, I also want to apologize for my language being so strong. What you said offended me, but thats no excuse to offend you back, and I would never want someone feeling hurt on my account ch"v.
It was a knee jerk reaction. Please be mochel me if it offended you.

amother

Red

Fri, Mar 10 2017, 10:12 am

zaq wrote:

OP, are you aware that this thread is on the public site and accessible without logging in? Thank G-d we have sufficient responses energetically rebuking the OP that this thread isn't a complete shandah.

What is private about this topic? I am entitled to a private bathroom that I own. I never said anything bad about any nationality. I never called her a low life like some posters here. I just don't like to share my bathroom and someone is using it! Everyone is taking this way out of context!!

little neshamala

Fri, Mar 10 2017, 10:16 am

amother wrote:

Then I think what got everyone so riled up, myself included (sorry) was that you did sound like an elitest-which is why so many people referenced the book The Help. Its a little different if thats normal in your community, and that you never use other bathrooms in your house, and you feel lime your toilet is your underwear

I wouldnt want anyone wearing my underwear after washing it either.

But you didnt really explain any of that...

mommy3b2c

Fri, Mar 10 2017, 10:22 am

amother wrote:

Well then say what you mean.

sweetpotato

Fri, Mar 10 2017, 10:31 am

Honestly, OP, if you want a solution... I think you'll have to start cleaning your own bathroom. I can't imagine your cleaning lady not being so offended, embarrassed, or confused if you told her she's not allowed to use your toilet that she wouldn't quit. If someone said that to me I'd immediately think "omg she's tracking when and where I use the bathroom??" and would be extremely creeped out.

It's ok to have quirks or paranoias like this and BH you have plenty of toilets in your house so you can have your own, but it may mean you have to compromise on having an outside person clean it.

amother

Red

Fri, Mar 10 2017, 10:44 am

I was never on the receiving end of this kind of attack. I'm really surprised. You all expect me to be accepting of others but you don't have to be accepting of me! Why am I not entitled to what's important to ME? Because you don't have that same "quirk" means I have to "give it up"?! I just can't figure out the common rudeness on this site. I have an issue and instead of getting advice, which is what I've asked for, I get beaten up! I'm so turned off by all of your rudeness. Allow me my needs and if you don't have advice, then don't give any. Don't tell me I'm an awful person! I'm still confused what was so bad about my question. I get it that not everyone has a personal bathroom, so you can't relate.......but then don't judge either!

amother

Pearl

Fri, Mar 10 2017, 10:47 am

andrea levy wrote:

What on earth is this about? Get a decent toilet. Flush one time, like the rest of us. Save water.

Whats with the attitude? I have a regular toilet, I assume shes afraid to stuff it and doesnt realize if she needs to she can flush twice. Instead she puts dirty tissues in the garbage and its gross.

amother

Lime

Fri, Mar 10 2017, 10:48 am

We won't let anyone other than DH and I use our master bathroom. We have a guest bathroom for others to use.

When I use a public toilet or one in someone else's house, I squat.

This is not crazy. OP is not crazy, or racist, or rude. It is entirely normal and reasonable to expect your own personal toilet to remain so.

I really don't understand the hostility on this site. It's so so shocking that frum women treat each other this way and the people that attacked OP and called her racist should be ashamed of themselves.