Purim - worse than Tisha B'av

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Advanced Search Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Purim

1 2 3 Next

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother

Maroon

Sun, Mar 12 2017, 4:33 pm

Yes, it's really how I feel about the holiday. Worst day of the year!!!

Eemaof3

Sun, Mar 12 2017, 4:40 pm

Agreed. Personally I find it anxiety provoking. Cannot stand the craziness in shul. Find I cannot breathe.

amother

Orange

Sun, Mar 12 2017, 4:42 pm

I'm with you.

amother

Bisque

Sun, Mar 12 2017, 4:42 pm

I totally understand you Sad

/ I also disliked it until the kids grew up a bit and helped. And my dh drinks less(or holds it better). Today I finally told him to come with me for a MM visit cuz I"m so tired of being alone on Purim! I think they just don't realize how hard it can be and we have to tell them - straight out. Hope next yr will be better!!

amother

Chocolate

Sun, Mar 12 2017, 4:53 pm

amother wrote:

Yes, it's really how I feel about the holiday. Worst day of the year!!!

I feel the same. I tried so hard this year to make everyone happy. No one appreciated it.

Took dc to a purim party and stayed up till 2 ( 3) am to make sure that the ride home was happening. Dh originally offered to pick up, but then refused. I was way to tired to drive, would have done it if no other option. You would think dc is greatful. Overtired and moody is more like it.

Since we have one car and walking isnt an option, we had to take turns taking the kids out. I asked dh to go to his friends that were eating the meals at home later in the day so that no one misses their teachers or friends. Dh didnt care and one dc didnt get to go to anyone. DH felt u appreciated and went to take a nap.

I served a meal today. 2 kids ate. Everyone else is mad or moody.

Sure doesn't help I didnt sleep much. I went to the earliest megila I knew of and dh was upset that he was late for shachris because I took the car.

Lovely purim.

amother

Lawngreen

Sun, Mar 12 2017, 4:58 pm

I wouldn't say it as strongly as you did, but I was crying on the couch in the afternoon. I am on imamother for goodness sakes, on purim afternoon. Where is my husband? Learning. Learning and learning and learning. He babysat the baby in the AM while I heard megila and shalach manos with the rest of the kids. Then we ate a short lunch together. From 1-6 I am alone with the kids because he has to get some learning in before he gets totally drunk at the seuda/goes to the shul party/maariv etc. It is such a lonely holiday. At the seuda, my kids are going to be going nuts, with all the over stimulation/sugar. I won't know a soul at the seuda, literally, except one woman who I met twice. It is separate seating, with the women in a different room. We are new to this city, that adds to the loneliness. I think that anything going wrong on a day we are SUPPOSE to be joyous makes it all the harder to deal with. Like my kids spitting and biting each other and bouncing off the walls. The highlight of my day was when one man I don't know came and delivered MM, saying "this is for the rav." At least we get some respect for all the hardship that this life entails. I know I should just appreciate what we have, but its HARD.

amother

Smokey

Sun, Mar 12 2017, 7:15 pm

amother wrote:

I hope the seudah went better than expected. You're amazing.

amother

Violet

Sun, Mar 12 2017, 7:25 pm

Can I join the pity party? We have no families to get together with as all our siblings go to the other side which have better parties than we can offer. Yes we have our kids but they'd love to celebrate Purim with cousins

amother

Khaki

Sun, Mar 12 2017, 9:01 pm

amother wrote:

Ditto and add to that the depressing cliquey building we live in where no one cares about us. Felt horrible to get no shalach manos at all.

PinkFridge

Sun, Mar 12 2017, 9:13 pm

Major major hugs to everyone. I will not interfere with this obviously much needed thread, and I wish you all simcha, and menucha, and that Hashem should be memaleh kol mishalos libeich for the obvious good.

amother

Violet

Sun, Mar 12 2017, 9:53 pm

PinkFridge wrote:

Thank you. Amen. This cheered me up a little.

Zehava

Sun, Mar 12 2017, 9:56 pm

I wouldn't call it tisha bav but it's definitely something to be endured rather than anticipated.
I hate all the noise and craziness and crowds.
I'd say it's probably my least favorite YT..
Thank goodness it's just one day of drunk sugar high madness.

amother

Saddlebrown

Sun, Mar 12 2017, 10:05 pm

so this Purim we did things a little differently... we had a seudah with one other family, we didn't really go to Purim parties etc... my 6 year old daughter listened to megillah on the computer, we went out to eat as a family for lunch... gave a few shaloch manos to teachers and such and that was it. It was actually pretty quiet and calm, we basically just stayed away from the drunkedness, craziness etc. some people would probably find it lame Wink

. It worked much better for my dh and me and my dd got a lot of mommy/family time and got to hang out with her friends at the seudah. I think it worked out well for us.

happy12

Sun, Mar 12 2017, 10:07 pm

It's 10 pm and my neighbors are having a party with a whole bunch of drunks and the decibel level is unreal. My house is shaking. They better stop soon so my children can go to sleep.

ra_mom

Sun, Mar 12 2017, 10:10 pm

happy12 wrote:

It's 10 pm and my neighbors are having a party with a whole bunch of drunks and the decibel level is unreal. My house is shaking. They better stop soon so my children can go to sleep.

I love purim but I hate when this happens.

causemommysaid

Sun, Mar 12 2017, 10:14 pm

The problem sounds like lousy husbands not purim. Purim is only bringing out what is already there but not as apparent on a regular day. I'm really sorry youre suffering. I hope your husbands are able to make the changes needed so purim can be more enjoyable for you.

Queen6

Sun, Mar 12 2017, 10:15 pm

Women - Purim should NOT be Tisha B'av! I'm not saying it's a day at the spa but it should not have such a negative effect.
A few tips that worked for me...
.1 CUT OUT!
Mishloach Manos can be simple and you DONT HAVE TO GIVE THE WHOLE TOWN. Less is more Smile

.2 Try to do some Morah's on Taanis Esther
.3 Don't set yourself up for failure - advocate for yourself. If the seudah you're planning to join doesn't work - make alternate plans.
.4 Prepare a healthy lunch and take a break mid day and have everyone eat.

tweety1

Sun, Mar 12 2017, 10:16 pm

happy12 wrote:

It's 10 pm and my neighbors are having a party with a whole bunch of drunks and the decibel level is unreal. My house is shaking. They better stop soon so my children can go to sleep.

Boy can I relate! My neighbor in my building thinking they're the only ones living here starts their party at 10 and goes on till 12,1,2. With a whl bunch of kids and music on decibel 100 the noise is raaaaaaaaa Exploding anger

amother

Magenta

Sun, Mar 12 2017, 10:19 pm

I feel like crying after this Purim. Had to fight my drunk husband against driving the kids. He maintained that He was sober. He involved all the kids in the fight telling them how disrespectful I am. ( I don't know why he's celbrating, it would be better for him if Haman win and all women would stay RESPECTFUL to the drunk men). He wanted to take my kids to a party where I knew there were drugs and unsupervised alcohol,for the teens, and I fought him on that too. Now my teens are mad at me for taking away all their fun. All the food I cooked is left over, my young ones are crying in bed from sugar overdose. My husband went to the party himself. I don't even know if I did good by my kids for being so strict. My teen tried to down an entire bottle of wine which I physically pried away. This holiday is a curse for me. I tried so hard to make everyone happy. Bought everyone cool costumes, let them prepare shalach manos for all their friends, took them around, cooked great food, and now everyone is angry with me.

Zehava

Sun, Mar 12 2017, 10:28 pm

amother wrote:

You are a brave mother. You fought like a lioness to keep your children safe. It's so easy to look away and take the easy way out. I know the struggle. Your husband was impaired and your teens are teens. You were the only one thinking straight. And you did what you needed to do to keep your children safe. Your teens may be mad at you but you wouldn't forgive yourself had your husband crashed the car or your teens overdosed on alcohol or drugs.
You're a mother. You did your job. Your job is not to make your children like you. It's to keep them safe and teach them responsibility. You did both today.
I salute you.

Page 1 of 3

1 2 3 Next