Setting boundaries

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Forum -> Parenting our children

Setting boundaries

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solo

Wed, Mar 22 2017, 8:12 pm

My 6 yr old has lots of importNt things to tell me. He interrupts conversations, phone calls, follows me into the the shower, chases me out off the toilet, wakes me up, interrupts bed time... to tell me things like his brother touched the shade, he needs snack for tomorrow, he heard a noise, his sister did something, he remembered something...
I believe he thinks all these things are important. I used to listen to all of it. Recently I started telling him those things are not timely/ important... and that the behavior was innapropriate.
Sometimes when I know he's interrupting to tell me something unimportant I tell him I don't wanna hear it now. But he blurts it out it shouts it out anyway. Tonight I refused to listen to the bazillion th thing he had to say after everyone was in bed. He's still tantruming.
Am I setting boundaries? Or not allowing him to be heard?
What to do?

tigerwife

Wed, Mar 22 2017, 8:18 pm

I'm no parenting coach, but I do think you should listen. The problem is the timing, not the information. If you are on the phone/ in the bathroom/ eating/ otherwise busy then tell him that you are busy right now but would love to hear about it soon. And listen soon.

Mommy is busy doing x right now so I can't hear, but when I am finished I would love to hear.
We don't talk to Mommy when she is in the bathroom except if it's an emergency. When I am done we can talk about it.

You want your kids to feel like they can tell you anything, and that their insights are important.

octopus

Wed, Mar 22 2017, 8:53 pm

My kids know that if I'm talking to someone else first, they are not allowed to interrupt (unless emergency.) Of course I use my sechel and I don't talk on the phone (social calls)when it is a school night. But if I'm on an important call (like with a teacher or client) they know they are not allowed to interrupt. It took a long while to get to this point. It's a process, but I think it's finally getting through to them. I really talk to my kids at bedtime. I glean a lot of info from them during bedtime. They LOVE it.

MagentaYenta

Wed, Mar 22 2017, 8:58 pm

Does he interrupt in school?

cnc

Wed, Mar 22 2017, 9:00 pm

Does heshow any other impulsive behavior or interrupt other people?

solo

Wed, Mar 22 2017, 9:05 pm

He's heard theni interrupting g lecture 1000000 times. And when I say not now he quickly blurts it out.
He does show other compulsive behavior. And he has intrusive thoughts. When I mentioned this to a professional I was told he's too young for a diagnosis

amother

Lilac

Thu, Mar 23 2017, 1:28 am

The rules you set are about your needs, not how unimportant he is. Sorry. Too tired to explain more. I have a kid this age. He does the same thing.

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