It's bad to accustom Children to expensive things

ectomorph

Sat, Mar 25 2017, 10:07 pm

It really bothers me when people tell me, "my kids only eat salmon/Ben and Jerry's/ steak not meatballs".
Especially when the kid won't eat regular ice cream while at my house because it's not Ben and Jerry's.
Why accustom Children to expensive things? What if they can't afford it later - why make them more miserable?
Please help me be Dan lekaf zchus these people.

ectomorph

Sat, Mar 25 2017, 10:12 pm

mommy3b2c wrote:

I have never met anybody like this.

I have met a few people like this. The shabbos meal thread reminded me about my pet peeve when people are used to fancier food. Wink

shirachadasha

Sat, Mar 25 2017, 11:00 pm

I have a friend who's like that. I also find it difficult to tolerate.
To be dan likaf zechus I would say that she was raised like that and married someone similar. It's not really a choice since that's all she knows.
I try to think about how privileged and snooty I would sound to people in other parts of the world if I said "I just can't imagine living without running water, electricity and Imamother."

SixOfWands

Sat, Mar 25 2017, 11:28 pm

ectomorph wrote:

Your kids are accustomed to ice cream and ground beef? Why are you providing them with these luxuries they might not be able to afford. Bulk rice and dried beans every day.

The problem, btw, isn't what the kids eat. My kids won't eat any type of fish other than salmon. And when they were little, they would not eat yellow cheese, only white. Who cares? They can always skip the fish, or the yellow cheese. The problem is how it was said. "Chaim doesn't like meatballs" or "he doesn't like that kind of ice cream" is sufficient.

mirror

Sat, Mar 25 2017, 11:34 pm

You can live without ice cream, but can you live without clothes? I know people who only buy the most expensive clothing for their teenage children. I am deeply worried what will happen when the teens become breadwinners for their families.

mommy3b2c

Sun, Mar 26 2017, 12:44 am

SixOfWands wrote:

Agree with this.

Sun, Mar 26 2017, 12:50 am

simcha2 wrote:

Maybe it's not a snobby issue but a very picky eater issue? (I'm digging deep in the dlkz bucket here).

Not very deep at all.

People with food aversions get it. People who can happily eat anything don't.

As for the OP, I suppose it depends on the context and how it is said. Could be snobby or not.

JoyInTheMorning

Sun, Mar 26 2017, 6:02 am

Can most kids -- or adults -- tell the difference between Ben and Jerry's vanilla ice cream and Breyer's vanilla ice cream if they don't see the package? If you put it in a bowl, they won't eat it? Do they seriously say "I'll only eat Ben and Jerry's ice cream"?

Because if they say that, the problem isn't that their parents have been buying Ben and Jerry's ice cream, it's that the parents haven't raised their kids to behave properly.

JoyInTheMorning

Sun, Mar 26 2017, 6:06 am

cm wrote:

Not very deep at all.

People with food aversions get it. People who can happily eat anything don't.

As for the OP, I suppose it depends on the context and how it is said. Could be snobby or not.

A food aversion to Breyer's vanilla ice cream is really a thing? I mean, I get a food aversion to cantaloupe or meatballs or mushrooms. I even get a food aversion to ice cream, or to vanilla ice cream in particular. But a food aversion to Breyer's vanilla ice cream when they'll happily scarf down Ben and Jerry's? That doesn't sound like any food aversion I've ever heard of.

JoyInTheMorning

Sun, Mar 26 2017, 6:09 am

Here's a suggested solution: If a kid doesn't want to eat something, he says, "No, thank you," with no further explanations that could possibly make the hostess feel bad. The hostess says "OK." And that is the end of the conversation.

chanchy123

Sun, Mar 26 2017, 7:13 am

I don't think a wealthy family has to serve their children generic brands of ice cream or cheaper cuts of meat just in case one day they will not be wealthy. I think that's crazy. Parents will buy for their home whatever foods they want according to their means. If the children grow up to be less wealthy they will just have to make do and learn to like new things.
That being said, it would be nuts for parents to davka specifically seek out expensive items for their kids to cultivate superior tastes.
I don't think it's necessarily something to brag about if your children have a very discerning pallet, and it always good to teach your children to appreciate whatever they are served.
Expensive food items are really a subjective matter too, one person's splurge is another person's every day item, depending on various circumstance, such as income, geography. community, priorities, tastes etc.
Maybe we shouldn't condition our children to enjoy good cooking and cook very plain foods because they may not turn into good cooks in the future or marry good cooks.

Liba

Sun, Mar 26 2017, 7:43 am

Zehava wrote:

Salmon and steak? I don't see the issue. The ice cream is weird tho. Never saw a kid refusing ice cream.

In America, I would agree. But Israeli ice cream, if it isn't GOOD ice cream, is junk, barely dairy, made with margarine, and not worth eating IMO. The cheaper dairy ice cream have the same yucky taste that bad pareve ice cream has.

My kids LOVE Kline's when we go to the US, but here there are few brands we will buy since most of them are garbage and don't taste good enough to justify the calories.

We don't buy ice cream often, but if we do we buy something worth eating...

ectomorph

Sun, Mar 26 2017, 8:03 am

shirachadasha wrote:

Thank you. That's a great dlz.

sotired3

Sun, Mar 26 2017, 12:31 pm

JoyInTheMorning wrote:

This is not exactly the same thing but my daughter will only eat mendelsons frozen pizza, not any other brand, and not from a pizza store, so I can see that someone who is extremely sensitive to textures will feel a difference between 2 brands of ice cream