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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Pesach
How much $ or appropriate gift? whole Pesach to friends
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amother
Amethyst


 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2017, 3:45 pm
7 guests for all seudes...id give a check, a nicely written thank you card, gifts for the kids, enough mazzeh/wine and a gift for the table/family (stunning flowers, silver, tablecloth, a sefer) if I could afford it.

id send it all in advance.

if they are VERY wealthy then id maybe skip the check (they might feel offended and not need it), but for a regular family to host every meal thats special and expencive, id feel bad to come empty handed.
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Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2017, 3:56 pm
Squishy wrote:
I may be off here, but isn't your husband a pulpit rabbi? When we go to someone who has a shul, we always give a solid donation. At least it preserves the fiction we aren't paying for our stay. I like the idea of paying the bill rather than giving cash.

I have also sent a couple of cases of chicken to someone my husband stayed with in EY. I try to find a gift like that. As I said, we bring the wine, grape juice, matzo. Chocolate and flowers are more problematic.


My husband does not control the shul finances. If someone gives a donation to the shul, it goes to the shul running costs.

Every rabbi has a different arrangement. Most Rabbis get some type of entertaining budget. But that usually goes for hosting community members or visitors to the community, not my brother and his 4 kids who stay the whole pesach and eat 3 meals a day. Even if we host community members at most it is for one or two nights.

As for tourists and other guests the most appreciated gift is something edible. Wine, fruit, chocolate. Not chatchkes. It's pretty unlikely that you know exactly what is missing from kitchen or house.
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amother
Orange


 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2017, 3:58 pm
How about a gift card to the local kosher supermarket?
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amother
Slateblue


 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2017, 4:07 pm
We're going (2 adults, 8 kids) to be guests by a relative for everything except the sedorim. I told the woman of the house, 'I'm bringing your kids a whole bunch of new board games and I'm giving you $500 for food because I know pesach is a fortune. Let me know if I should give you more.' She was really grateful and she said, 'that sounds wonderful, thank you so much.' If she had waved away my offer, I would have felt uncomfortable going and would have given it her husband or sent it afterwards. I also sat down and asked her which games her kids like and what they already have so I wouldn't be buying something they already have. b'h they are very excited to have us!
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amother
Royalblue


 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2017, 4:18 pm
We went to OOT relatives for the whole Pesach. I asked her if I could help her out with the meat shopping bec she usually gets meat from my city anyway. She sent me her meat list for Pesach, roasts, ground beef, brisket, etc.

So I bought most of the meat order for yom tov, as which took a huge expense off her, as well as nice hand towels for Pesach.
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yksraya




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2017, 5:16 pm
amother wrote:
How about a gift card to the local kosher supermarket?

That's a really unique idea!!!!! I would add a chocolate or little gift along with it.

Lots of times money can be tight right after yt especially after all the expenses. The gift card can be a real life saver.
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PAMOM




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2017, 8:19 pm
I just want to say what lovely and considerate guests you are! I have asked my hostess if I could order dishes from a kosher caterer or takeout in her area. I've also ordered wine for the Seder from one of the online sites. The gift card is very thoughtful!
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livinginflatbus




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2017, 8:38 pm
We went to my sister in law for succor. I made two full meals
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notshanarishona




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2017, 9:11 pm
Meals for 7 people for 8 days, I would say give a gift worth between $500-1000. That is a huge expense and a lot of work , especially for Pesach, unless they are very well off.
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tigerwife




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2017, 9:55 pm
Another vote for cash gift being tacky. As a hostess, and all the more so as a friend, I would feel so awkward, and you also never know what kind of amount would make sense.

I like the idea of offering to buy some of the expensive items such as matzah or wine. I also like the cleaning help idea although I would check with the hostess first to see if she would appreciate it.
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boysrus




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2017, 11:58 pm
I would recomend gift cards.
For example, my family of 8 went to stay with relatives for two full weeks, she fed us every day 3 meals a day for 2 weeks!
We bought them flowers, wine and choc for both shabbosos we were there, also some toys for their children, and gave them two giftcards, one for $250 to their local kosher store adn the other $250 to their local target.
I think it was appreciated, but it didnt embarrass them like I think cash would have done.

I think we were reasonably good guests, but she was an absolutely awesome hostess! and anything less than $500 in giftcards would not have been nice, they spent so much money on us!
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smileyfaces




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 27 2017, 12:15 am
It depends on who you're going to for YT. For example, if I was going to my sibling I would hand them a check or cash to cover some of the expenses.
If we were going to a friend I would not offer cash but I would offer to help out with buying a certain item (the matzah, the meat, etc). If they decline the offer I would probably get them a really nice gift or a gift card.

A good guest also helps out and doesn't sit and wait to be wined and dined. I would appreciate a guest who helps out as much as possible even if the monetary contribution is less.
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amother
Honeydew


 

Post Mon, Mar 27 2017, 3:58 am
If you all have young kids, plan and pay for outings on chol hamoed. Let the hosts know in advance. Extra points if you take their kids and give them a quiet day at home.
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amother
Saddlebrown


 

Post Mon, Mar 27 2017, 11:31 am
I have the opposite problem ... quite enough money but not very geshickt ... and I am paranoid about hechshers in general and Pesach hotels in particular. So what I am looking for (in the future, it's too late this year) is someone who is super makpid to actually just make Pesach for my family, for pay, and also have lots of spirituality and programming ... I have been going in circles with this for years and I just end up staying home (and having lots of omelet meals).

Also, I don't go to relatives either because I don't trust the kashrus/cleanliness/organizational standards, or, I don't want to be a burden on anyone.
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amother
Puce


 

Post Mon, Mar 27 2017, 1:09 pm
I would also consider a year's subscription to one of the frum magazines if you think they would enjoy it. Someone set up my daughter a few different times and I did that and she loved it.
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essie14




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 27 2017, 1:12 pm
amother wrote:
I have the opposite problem ... quite enough money but not very geshickt ... and I am paranoid about hechshers in general and Pesach hotels in particular. So what I am looking for (in the future, it's too late this year) is someone who is super makpid to actually just make Pesach for my family, for pay, and also have lots of spirituality and programming ... I have been going in circles with this for years and I just end up staying home (and having lots of omelet meals).

Also, I don't go to relatives either because I don't trust the kashrus/cleanliness/organizational standards, or, I don't want to be a burden on anyone.

Why don't you hire a private chef to cook in your home and you buy all the ingredients?

Here in Israel I have seen several ads for this type of service.
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33055




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 27 2017, 1:22 pm
essie14 wrote:
Why don't you hire a private chef to cook in your home and you buy all the ingredients?

Here in Israel I have seen several ads for this type of service.


She wants spirituality and programming.

Where do you live?
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amother
Honeydew


 

Post Mon, Mar 27 2017, 2:33 pm
amother wrote:
If you all have young kids, plan and pay for outings on chol hamoed. Let the hosts know in advance. Extra points if you take their kids and give them a quiet day at home.


Why did this get a hug?
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