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Forum -> Children's Health
I think my teen has an eating disorder
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2017, 3:23 pm
and I'm looking for some support from someone who's been there and done that. We've spoken to relief and are working to get an appointment with a therapist. Now I just need someone to talk to who can help me understand the process a bit more.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2017, 4:22 pm
get a nutritionist involved as well ... could be insightful
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amother
Yellow


 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2017, 4:41 pm
I also thought my teen has an eating disorder. Her psychiatrist told me that;
All eating disorders are a symptom.
A symptom of something going on in her emotional world.
It can be an unresolved childhood trauma that she was too young to handle and it's resurfacing now or it can be a current issue or pressure that's triggering it.
Instead of it surfacing as OCD depression or anxiety it surfaces as an eating disorder.
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2017, 5:21 pm
greenfire wrote:
get a nutritionist involved as well ... could be insightful


We started with one when we (me and the pediatrician) just thought the issue was as a result of a sudden weight gain and body shape changes that came with puberty. The idea was to teach her to eat correctly and help her lose up to 5 lbs if needed/wanted.

The concerns wasn't anorexia but more body image issues and we thought educating on diet plus exercise would help.

When I called the nutritionist back when I found out the issue was yes body image issues but also general and extreme feelings of sadness and self hate plus excessive emotional eating (my daughter is calling it binging) the nutritionist wanted us to start with the therapist first.
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2017, 5:23 pm
amother wrote:
I also thought my teen has an eating disorder. Her psychiatrist told me that;
All eating disorders are a symptom.
A symptom of something going on in her emotional world.
It can be an unresolved childhood trauma that she was too young to handle and it's resurfacing now or it can be a current issue or pressure that's triggering it.
Instead of it surfacing as OCD depression or anxiety it surfaces as an eating disorder.


Thank you for this personal experience. My husband and I were wondering how much of this was coming out of general unhappiness and all that comes with it including unhappiness with self. Some of what she has been saying sounds like she has been reading and self diagnosing. She may be right and we will deal if she is. She's asking to see someone to help her deal with the feelings. I'm told that's a great start.
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amother
Ecru


 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2017, 6:05 pm
http://magenavrohom.com/
Anorexia Nervosa is when a person doesn't eat because they are into body image etc.
Wishing you luck. For a while I went on hunger strikes because of anxiety and now I don't stop eating. I hope you find the solution quickly.
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2017, 6:12 pm
amother wrote:
http://magenavrohom.com/
Anorexia Nervosa is when a person doesn't eat because they are into body image etc.
Wishing you luck. For a while I went on hunger strikes because of anxiety and now I don't stop eating. I hope you find the solution quickly.


Thankfully she is eating and is very careful to eat a normal diet. She feels that at times she binges. But her binges can be from one cupcake to 30 oreos. and the. She panicks.
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amother
Orchid


 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2017, 6:26 pm
amother wrote:
Thankfully she is eating and is very careful to eat a normal diet. She feels that at times she binges. But her binges can be from one cupcake to 30 oreos. and the. She panicks.


You should still get help, but this sounds a lot less serious than your original post. Binging is a real problem and hopefully she is doing it as "emotional eating" rather than a lifestyle. As long as she isn't throwing up or starving herself, she isn't in danger. That said, you are doing the right thing to get to the root of the emotional problem to nip the habit in the bud.
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amother
Gold


 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2017, 6:42 pm
amother wrote:
You should still get help, but this sounds a lot less serious than your original post. Binging is a real problem and hopefully she is doing it as "emotional eating" rather than a lifestyle. As long as she isn't throwing up or starving herself, she isn't in danger. That said, you are doing the right thing to get to the root of the emotional problem to nip the habit in the bud.


I actually think what you're describing can potentially become a full blown disorder. Binging and then panicking can lead to bulimia, laxative abuse, excersise bulimia and chronic health issues.

It is not normal to go on huge binges, no matter how common it may be.

Your daughter wants your help and that is fantastic. You are clearly an involved parent.

I began dieting and then binging and purging at 14. I had no idea what I was getting myself into and it took 14 years (14 years!!!) and extensive damage to get it under control. If only I had had someone notice and care when it was in the very early stages, perhaps all this could have been avoided.

Please do not underestimate the severity of an eating disorder, and do not think that 'this couldn't happen to my daughter.'
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amother
Red


 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2017, 6:54 pm
My ed started the same way, at 14. I am now 30 and still suffering from relapses. Been through it all...starve binge purge, weeks in each stage. I WISH, oh how I wish someone would have helped me when it was "just" binging and panicking.
That was painful to write.
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amother
Natural


 

Post Wed, Mar 29 2017, 7:27 am
I have an eating disorder with similiar symptoms to those of your daughter.
Please listen very carefully to your daughter. Even if you feel like she is JUST bringing you research. In essence this is valuable information becuase it means she was able to identify with what she read/found.
Eating disorders are very complex. I would suggest you research and read about them yourself.
Sounds like your daughter is still open for help. This is a very precious window in time. All I can say is get the help while she is still interested.
The longer eating disorders go on the harder it is for the sufferer to part with them. It becomes a friend.
I know it sounds crazy... but that is the truth.
In general there is more to an eating disorder than a body image.
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Wed, Mar 29 2017, 8:03 am
amother wrote:
I have an eating disorder with similiar symptoms to those of your daughter.
Please listen very carefully to your daughter. Even if you feel like she is JUST bringing you research. In essence this is valuable information becuase it means she was able to identify with what she read/found.
Eating disorders are very complex. I would suggest you research and read about them yourself.
Sounds like your daughter is still open for help. This is a very precious window in time. All I can say is get the help while she is still interested.
The longer eating disorders go on the harder it is for the sufferer to part with them. It becomes a friend.
I know it sounds crazy... but that is the truth.
In general there is more to an eating disorder than a body image.


Thank you. All these comments are incredibly helpful because we want to get this right.

We've been in touch with relief and are actively looking for a therapist. We hope to meet with one that we've been speaking to in a week. She had also been working with a mentor for the past three months who has gotten her to this point.

I am not questioning what she is saying. I know there is an issue. We need to get to the root of it and figure out which came first depression or the eating issues. Tho the more I read, it sounds to be a bit of chicken and egg.
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Wed, Mar 29 2017, 8:06 am
amother wrote:
You should still get help, but this sounds a lot less serious than your original post. Binging is a real problem and hopefully she is doing it as "emotional eating" rather than a lifestyle. As long as she isn't throwing up or starving herself, she isn't in danger. That said, you are doing the right thing to get to the root of the emotional problem to nip the habit in the bud.


What she actually said is don't worry it's not the dangerous kind of eating disorder. I have bouts of binging and restricting. No purging to my knowledge. But in my mind, they are all dangerous.
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Wed, Mar 29 2017, 8:09 am
amother wrote:
I actually think what you're describing can potentially become a full blown disorder. Binging and then panicking can lead to bulimia, laxative abuse, excersise bulimia and chronic health issues.

It is not normal to go on huge binges, no matter how common it may be.

Your daughter wants your help and that is fantastic. You are clearly an involved parent.

I began dieting and then binging and purging at 14. I had no idea what I was getting myself into and it took 14 years (14 years!!!) and extensive damage to get it under control. If only I had had someone notice and care when it was in the very early stages, perhaps all this could have been avoided.

Please do not underestimate the severity of an eating disorder, and do not think that 'this couldn't happen to my daughter.'


Thank you again. We are taking this very seriously. I am very aware it's a slippery slope that we are on. She hates that she is so stubborn. She considers it a weakness. At the moment, her stubbornness is why things are as in check as they are.

My largest concern is finding the right person to help. We got a bunch of names and started with one. Is it the right one? I don't think it's a bad choice but we won't really know till she meets my daughter.
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amother
Natural


 

Post Wed, Mar 29 2017, 8:10 am
You are right about the depression and the eating disorder are a vicious cycle-
no eating->Depression due to the lack of food-> binge -> depression becuase of weight gain ->no eating-> start all over again
But deep down there is something deeper that caused the whole crazy cycle in the first place.
Dealing with just the depression or just regulating the eating habits will not be enough in order to reach real recovery.
Keep in mind that a eating disorder is not somethig that goes away, Rather one can learn how to control it properly.
The deaper the healing goes, The more your daughter can reach the core issue.
The better her chance is to manage her ED without relapse.
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Wed, Mar 29 2017, 8:14 am
amother wrote:
My ed started the same way, at 14. I am now 30 and still suffering from relapses. Been through it all...starve binge purge, weeks in each stage. I WISH, oh how I wish someone would have helped me when it was "just" binging and panicking.
That was painful to write.


This is my biggest fear and you have my tefillot right next to my daughter. I know that things likes this can be lifelong. She is also 14. And the fear I have every time she walks out of my sight is immense. No one she hate life or every part of themselves as much as she is indicating.
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amother
Natural


 

Post Wed, Mar 29 2017, 8:16 am
amother wrote:
What she actually said is don't worry it's not the dangerous kind of eating disorder. I have bouts of binging and restricting. No purging to my knowledge. But in my mind, they are all dangerous.


All eating disorders are dangerous.
In this case she is not restricting ALL the time. But that doesn't matter.
Any kind of restrictive eating will limit nutrients for the body. Especially when the binges are not healthy foods.
The kind of pattern the OP describes is probably EDNOS (OP, you can google that...)
girls suffering from EDNOS are still in danger of risking their fertility, damaging their bone density, Heart failure and more.
And thats besides for the emotional heath hazard.
I don't mean to scare you, but I don't want anybody to think that anorexia is the only deadly ED
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Wed, Mar 29 2017, 8:19 am
amother wrote:
You are right about the depression and the eating disorder are a vicious cycle-
no eating->Depression due to the lack of food-> binge -> depression becuase of weight gain ->no eating-> start all over again
But deep down there is something deeper that caused the whole crazy cycle in the first place.
Dealing with just the depression or just regulating the eating habits will not be enough in order to reach real recovery.
Keep in mind that a eating disorder is not somethig that goes away, Rather one can learn how to control it properly.
The deaper the healing goes, The more your daughter can reach the core issue.
The better her chance is to manage her ED without relapse.


Life has just always been hard for her. Things just didn't come easy. Even when she was in kindergarten. We talked about therapy back then and more times over the years. She always refused to go and we didn't/couldn't force her. Am I looking back with regret? Definitely. Forward with hope and promise? Yes to that too.
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amother
Natural


 

Post Wed, Mar 29 2017, 8:25 am
amother wrote:
Life has just always been hard for her. Things just didn't come easy. Even when she was in kindergarten. We talked about therapy back then and more times over the years. She always refused to go and we didn't/couldn't force her. Am I looking back with regret? Definitely. Forward with hope and promise? Yes to that too.


It seems like you really are on top of your game. We are not perfection nor can we control the past. We can only make the right choices every day once again.
Your daughter is lucky to have supportive parents.
Much Luck, And S"D.
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Wed, Mar 29 2017, 8:30 am
I don't know who you are, Natural. We could even be neighbors. Thank you for your well wishes and feedback. I can't tell you how much I crave to hear things your are saying. The good, the bad and all the ugly. I'm so pleased that life has put me as part of a faith based nation. How one goes through all this without a belief in a higher power I can't even know. S"D is what we need.
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