Toilet training regression - please advise

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Preschoolers

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amother

Pewter

Fri, Mar 31 2017, 2:46 pm

My 3 year old son finally got toilet trained at the beginning of February (the 2nd attempt). He had the normal ups and downs but he was doing so well earlier in March! But, the last week and a half he has been having accidents a lot -at home and at school. Already 3 accidents today by 2pm. We have stressors going on in the house that he could be picking up on. Or, it could really be too hard for him. I don't want to undo all of our hard work, but it seems wrong to keep putting him in underwear and giving him the stress of making accidents. I can't put him back in diapers for a long time... he definately has to be in underwear before school next year. Even his camp requires it - that is relatively soon! I can give him a break for a month or two and then try again? I am sooo torn. We are going away for pesach and I think I have to decide what to do NOW - before pesach... how could I have all these wet 3 year old boy clothes at other ppl's houses? Of course, he is young enough that I can do his laundry, but it is nice to my hosts for him to possibly be having multiple accidents in their house? I don't like pull ups. They tried that at school and he always got it wet. It feels like a diaper to him -for good reason! Would putting a diaper back on him totally confuse him and make it really hard to train again??? He was really doing well. I don't know what to do.

Stars

Fri, Mar 31 2017, 3:43 pm

Will it be calmer in your house after Pesach? If the same stressors will be present I don't think there's a reason to put him back in diapers.
Hang in there

amother

Amethyst

Fri, Mar 31 2017, 4:11 pm

It sounds like he's not ready to me.

amother

Pewter

Fri, Mar 31 2017, 4:17 pm

Stars wrote:

Will it be calmer in your house after Pesach? If the same stressors will be present I don't think there's a reason to put him back in diapers.
Hang in there

The lack of calm doesn't have that much to do with pesach. Unless they happen to all improve, the house won't be much different after pesach.

Is it shallow of me to entice him with better treats? we were doing kinda small ones. It won't help if he really isn't ready. But he had 2-3 pretty good weeks so he seemed ready...

Stars

Fri, Mar 31 2017, 4:29 pm

Bribes are awesome. Or you can read any of the books available for potty training. They are very helpful.

amother

Pewter

Fri, Mar 31 2017, 6:10 pm

Stars wrote:

Bribes are awesome. Or you can read any of the books available for potty training. They are very helpful.

yes I upped the enticement. I am fairly healthy minded, but sometimes you just do it... No time to get a book now, but I have trained kids before kah. He is just unique, my little love bug boy!

Anyone else have any thoughts? I will update with how shabbos went...

Iymnok

Sat, Apr 01 2017, 4:10 pm

I finally realized that my kids do amazing for the first month, then they backslide. So once again I get out the stickers and chocolate chips and loads of reminders and positive reinforcement.
You are describing my DS.

nw11

Sat, Apr 01 2017, 4:33 pm

I also struggled with my kids for months so can relate to the angst you're feeling. My paediatrician explained to me that for a child, even bribery is a form of pressure, and whilst it is a necessary form of pressure one should keep that in mind and try to stay as calm as possible about the whole thing (easier said than done, I know!) as children are extremely sensitive. I just kept telling myself again and again that this will no longer be a problem when my kids stand under the chupa, and that it's just a matter of time. My advice to you is to put him in diapers over pesach. You will be much calmer and be able to enjoy yom tov and your child will pick up on this and hopefully will be in a better place to start anew afterwards.

FranticFrummie

Sat, Apr 01 2017, 7:37 pm

nw11 wrote:

THIS. Any change in routine is notorious for creating setbacks. Travel is the WORST! Just roll with it, use the diapers, and he'll get back to normal in a little while, once things settle down.

What else is going on in your home, that could be stressing him out? Is he the youngest, or is there a younger sibling he's jealous of, or keeping him awake at night? Anything else that might be bothering him? Does he get so absorbed in play that he doesn't notice he has to go? That's super common, and with boys it can last until they are 6 or 7 years old.

amother

Pewter

Sat, Apr 01 2017, 11:29 pm

He is the youngest. He can definately get distracted. Last night he was dry til 10:40pm, but being up that late could have been part of it. Today he had 2 small accidents in the morning (by 11am) , but then with jelly bean enticement he was dry the rest of of the day - but that did include a nap - but his diaper was even dry after the nap! he is so tricky, he does things like stay dry for hours and wake up dry but then also has some accidents. if this week doesn't go well, I will probably just go for diapers from shabbos hagadol til a week or so after pesach. But if it is OK, I am not sure I can bring myself to do it.

Do you all think that is unwise?

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