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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children
High heels on shabbos @ what age?
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skinny




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Apr 01 2017, 11:10 pm
Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my daughter is driving me nuts.....................
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cnc




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Apr 01 2017, 11:12 pm
In my circles, usually 12th grade (sometimes at the end of eleventh- Pesach time.)
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skinny




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Apr 01 2017, 11:21 pm
my daughter is in 11th I already got her booties with a chunky heel but 4 pesach she picked out pumps!!! I think she looks like she's playing dress up... what does everyone else think?
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lucky14




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Apr 01 2017, 11:26 pm
11th grade? Personally I think totally old enough. Especially if she really wants to so badly.
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amother
Silver


 

Post Sat, Apr 01 2017, 11:29 pm
Tenth grade.
When else whens she's in her month?
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amother
Firebrick


 

Post Sat, Apr 01 2017, 11:30 pm
I agree, if she likes it, I don't see a problem.
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onlyone




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Apr 01 2017, 11:46 pm
I bought my daughter heels, she is 11 and in the 6th grade, to wear for Bat Mitzvah's. But today she decided to wear them to shul. For some reason I allowed her. You all may think I am nuts/ this is nuts. Oh well!
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onlyone




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Apr 01 2017, 11:48 pm
She already wears makeup too, but mostly only to Bat Mitzvah's, and sometimes puts in on before Shabbos. We are very modern and this is common in our circles.
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asmileaday




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Apr 02 2017, 12:25 am
I wore heels beginning of 10th grade. High heels. Really high. I was short and I liked it. I'm still a high heeled kind of gal today!

If she wants to, why not?
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skinny




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Apr 02 2017, 12:26 am
I also started wearing heels @ 12 but my parents grew up non religious I think it was more accepted then...
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Apr 02 2017, 4:40 am
NEVER! Show your daughter what those things will do to her back and posture, never mind how much they will mangle her toes.

I saw my first chiropractor at 18, and he scared the heck out of me. He said to me "If I am driving down the road, and I see you walking in high heels, I will pull over, take off your shoes, and beat you with them. I don't want you wasting my time!" shock Surprised

I'm not sure he was kidding, but I never wore heels again, and my back and feet thank him for it every single day. Being "cool" or "looking grown up" is just not worth it. Find her some sparkly flats instead.
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amother
Sapphire


 

Post Sun, Apr 02 2017, 5:12 am
I'd be OK with my girls wearing low heals from 9th grade and up. High heals 12th grade.

Are you resisting for spiritual or social reasons?
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ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Apr 02 2017, 7:17 am
skinny wrote:
my daughter is in 11th I already got her booties with a chunky heel but 4 pesach she picked out pumps!!! I think she looks like she's playing dress up... what does everyone else think?

Let her be. Many start wearing low heels in 8th grade and high heels in 10th.
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skinny




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Apr 02 2017, 7:51 am
thanks 4 all the replies
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Moonlight




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Apr 02 2017, 8:10 am
I started in 9th grade
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MrsDash




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Apr 02 2017, 9:40 am
My father bought me my first pair when I was 11. Thought they were pretty cool, but it was a bit tough for this tomboy! (My 10 year old has been begging for heels as well...)
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Apr 02 2017, 10:04 am
onlyone wrote:
She already wears makeup too, but mostly only to Bat Mitzvah's, and sometimes puts in on before Shabbos. We are very modern and this is common in our circles.


There are heels and there are heels. Also, when they're younger, a lot depends on their height. I remember when I was out shopping with dd eighth grade at the time and we found high wedges she liked and I was thrilled to be done. We got home and they measured 3 inches! (That seemed like a lot.) But she was tall and looked ok in them. I was just worried about dd 1.6 years younger, that she'd want them too, but she wore fairly sensible shoes till late high school.

And, there's also what's done. When it came to things like shoes and makeup, I would always hope that they'd hold out till just about the age when I and my friends did things, factoring in that with the acceleration of so much in today's lives, they'd start a little younger.

So if this is a norm in your circles, don't sweat it.
OTOH, you are the mother and you can set reasonable limits. Your kids don't have to do what everyone's doing, and everyone might not be doing it. Wink
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Ilovemaryland




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Apr 02 2017, 10:16 am
I wore 5 inche stilettos throughout high school. But at 19 I need surgery for ingrown toenails.
The podiatrist said it was largely due to the shoes..
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amother
Slateblue


 

Post Sun, Apr 02 2017, 10:27 am
How high is high heels? I got my first pair of 2 inchers in 8th grade. they were supposed to be test run height and I was allowed to get higher shoes after that pair but never really cared to. I still hate wearing anything taller than that.
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lora




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Apr 02 2017, 10:32 am
depends allot on your com community and whats considered "normal" if shes in high school, then really why not? if its the norm, then double really while not.
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