MYOB? | Imamother

sourstix

Mon, Apr 03 2017, 1:10 pm

Cyan you said it all. No more then that. I think op got the point.

Op like I said hug and kiss your grandkids! Give them quality time. There is so much you can give in terms of a grandmother. Leave the worrying for the parents.

Nothing you do will help. Give this child unconditional love. Or maybe go see a therapist on how to help without being involved in things that have no place for you. Seriously you can learn good skills how to a good supportive grandmother.

amother

Lilac

Mon, Apr 03 2017, 2:53 pm

Your daughter lives in Israel - in that case, I am sure that at every visit to tipat chalav (the well baby clinic) which is every few months, they give her the world's biggest headache about it. They are absolutely crazy about percentiles for weight - slightly over or slightly under, or if it doesn't correlate with height. I'm sure anything you want to say to her, the nurses at tipat chalav have already made her cry about it.

In terms of the eating. Did you say that your toddler grandchild sits and eats and loves it? My daughter is really underweight and doesn't eat and doesn't like to sit for meals, and just coaxing 3 pieces of chicken in her mouth can take an hour. You should be so thankful that the child eats! Having spent many days at a top pediatric nutritionist, I can tell you that the amount that children eat at this age is dependent on their appetites. It's too young to eat out of boredom. Also, restricting fat intake or depriving them of calorie intake at this age can be dangerous - babies and toddlers need fat for proper brain development, protein and fat for muscle development, and carbs for energy, and fruits and vegetables for vitamins. If she's eating a lot, it's because she needs it. 20 months is an age where they finally have gotten their little motors going - they run walk and talk and play hard - they need that food to keep up! And as she becomes more and more active, the fat won't stay on. And even if they are chubby, that is still normal at this age. Most kids slim down around age 4 naturally, with no intervention or dietary adjustment. There is no set amount of calories that a every child at this age needs - it's dependent on weight, height, age, body type, and some other relevant factors. So let her eat, and just make sure she is active in general, and she'll be fine. If she's still very overweight at age 4, then that's a time to start CONSIDERING small dietary adjustments under professional guidance. And I'm sure the pediatrician and tipat chalav will guide your daughter then, and you don't need to be involved.

In the meantime, try and get some nachas out of a kid who eats well and enjoy your time with them.

hesha

Mon, Apr 03 2017, 10:32 pm

I just want to say that people are totally projecting their own personal experiences about negative body image on the OP - its very obvious. Who says OP is not the most loving bubby in the world who hugs and kisses the baby all day? She may very well be! She is just voicing her concern. Goodness, don't turn her into a nosy busybody who just cares about her own feelings. And while I agree that saying something prob isn't too productive, don't rely on the pediatrician to make all the difference in this kids life. How many of us hear the Dr. say we have to change our lifestyle or diet and don't listen? Plenty of people. I'm sure there are plenty of parents who hear the pediatrician say that they have to change the kid's eating habits and don't really follow through.

amother

Coffee

Mon, Apr 03 2017, 11:24 pm

Im so shocked by some of the responses here!! Controlling the intake of a 20 month olds food??? What??? Let them eat as much as they want...in general with food you dont force them to eat or take away their food. You let their bodies regulate their hunger to set good healthy eating habits for life. Even infants know to eat as much as they need hence the science and research backing demand feeding. In the American Academey of Pediatrics book there is a whole part discussing that parents should never withhold food due to fear that the child will be obese etc. Im far more concerned for the children of some posters who curtail food intake for a toddler. What the baby ate is so normal...bananas are chock full of nutrients...its amazing that she ate 2! Cereal and yogurt and bananas...thats my toddlers breakfast every morning! Smile

As long as the toddler is being offered ample nutritious food and no sugar juices and is moving around ( no screen time) there is nothing to be concerned about. On the contrary I think its great that she has such a healthy appetite! I never even realized that people view fat babies like this! To me they are delicious and look well fed. I guess Im blessed to be a skinny girl ( with chubby healthy babies) and no hang ups with food and weight! Bubby enjoy the chubby one and kiss her cheeks! And be grateful she is eating so well:) and definetly myob. If there is an issue the pediatriton will handle it...thats not your job!

amother

Smokey

Tue, Apr 04 2017, 12:49 am

hesha wrote:

She said she was disgusted watching her baby granddaughter eat a big breakfast.

amother

Green

Tue, Apr 04 2017, 4:22 am

amother wrote:

I am the author of the "super husky son" thread. Please don't say anything!

And a 20 month old is WAAAAY to young to even be thinking in this direction. I have seen many super pudgy babies thin out completely.

Even if the child was older and it was already an issue (or in a few years from now if it's still an issue), how exactly would it help to say anything aside for making your daughter feel self conscious in your eyes? It doesn't sound like she's feeding her children junk food, anyway, and if she was raised by a sensible mother like you, she will figure out what needs to be done without your interference.

If your daughter is a caring, involved mother, she doesn't need anyone else to make her feel bad, especially not her own mother. Every pediatrician charts height and weight and will say something if necessary. Most mothers are trying their hardest already.

She needs to be supported, not criticized in her parenting, even if you think it isn't perfect. I'm sure your parenting wasn't perfect either.

My own relatives are not very helpful in this area, and it is painful enough to be there for my child when he faces the world without the feeling that my child will be under the eagle eyes of grandparents whose main job is just to love and appreciate them unconditionally.

Sorry if I am coming across too harshly, but I am feeling the strain of this right now.

Please, please don't say anything!

Op here
I have not said a word to my dd
She is a great mother and knows what she's doing. We are very close but I know my bounds.
To all those who say I have a body image problem it's not true. It was only out of concern. I was shocked to see how large the baby got since I saw her last. We don't Skype as my dd doesn't have a computer. I'm a very loving bubbie and give my grand children tons of love and affection.
Btw I stopped watching this topic when I wrote asked and answered. I was satisfied and moved on with my life!
Came back on Ima mother cz I can't sleep and saw there were 3 pages to this thread!

amother

Green

Tue, Apr 04 2017, 4:29 am

[quote="sourstix"]Cyan you said it all. No more then that. I think op got the point.

Op like I said hug and kiss your grandkids! Give them quality time. There is so much you can give in terms of a grandmother. Leave the worrying for the parents.

Nothing you do will help. Give this child unconditional love. [b]Or maybe go see a therapist on how to help without being involved in things that have no place for you. Seriously you can learn good skills how to a good supportive grandmother.[/quote][/b]

See a therapist? Are u for real?
How do u know I'm not a good supportive grandmother ???!!

33055

Tue, Apr 04 2017, 6:40 am

amother wrote:

Another one who can't read.

I don't know if you are being willfully or naturally obtuse.

The comments about controlling babies came in response to posters saying that babies have a satiation switch and therefore can regulate themselves. I asked for any kind of scientific proof of this. No response.

I only found references to do with drug addicts and consumers who switch when they are satisfied. I didn't find anything about babies being able to regulate themselves because of said switch. If there is science to back the nonsense, let's hear it.

You also mention "in general" and "fear of obesity". I am in full agreement and have stated this. Hesha made excellent points including the point that most adults don't listen when the dr says to make lifestyle changes. The Dr almost certainly said something about the Big Baby I mentioned. Nothing would get through to these parents. They love the attention of having the Big Baby. I can't define what was wrong, but their identity was somewhat tied up with having a giant sized baby.

amother

Coffee

Tue, Apr 04 2017, 8:52 am

Squishy..Im sure you mean well and are a great mom! There actually is a lot of science that shows that children will eat what they need to eat for their growing bodies if we let them! It says this in all the parenting books...You can google demand feeding and read all the research that shows that babies can regulate their own food intake if we let them and let them eat how much they want to. There is so much information on this topic...please do more research:)
I quote from the book of the American Academey of Pediatrics...." What if your concerned that your baby is already overweight? Even when infants are young some parents are already worried that their babies are gaining too much weight. On one hand there is a rise in childhood obesity and all of its potential complications and thus its wise to be sensitive to the problem.....However dont let anxiety over obesity lead you to underfeed your infant ..."
The only issue with 2 bananas is a big stomache: Very Happy

33055

Tue, Apr 04 2017, 9:00 am

amother wrote:

What do you think they mean by "it's (sic) wise to be sensitive to the problem"?

How does that differ from what I have been saying all along?

amother

Red

Tue, Apr 04 2017, 9:29 am

FranticFrummie wrote:

Because they are looking for metabolic syndromes, failure to thrive, etc. That is why there are percentiles and averages, and not a one size fits all figure (pardon the pun).

My "butterball" toddler is 13 now, and in the 40th percentile for height and weight. She is very petite for her age, and perfectly proportionate.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again and again. If the pediatrician says the baby is fine, then it is nobody else's business!

Frankly, I'm much more concerned that OP said that she was "almost disgusted" and "embarrassed" by a chubby baby. Why is this all about her and her feelings? She needs to work on herself, and leave the parenting to the parents.

While I agree with the rest of this post, 40th percentile for height and weight is not "very petite." It's very much in the average range.

amother

Babyblue

Tue, Apr 04 2017, 9:48 am

My daughter is in 40th percentile and yes that's petite. My son who is in 50th percentile looks petite next to his classmates too. They have very slight frames and pants skirts need to be take in elastic or they're falling down all day.

Squishy you seem to be just in for an argument wherever you go. I'm starting not to take your posts seriously anymore. Personally I was HUGE as a baby, did not walk until 18 months cuz too heavy to carry myself and now I'm my mother's thinnest child (5.5"and 128 lbs OK I got weight to lose but nowhere near obese) My daughter was the same.

amother

Hotpink

Tue, Apr 04 2017, 10:01 am

amother wrote:

Ok, I was with you until the bolded- hon, you're nowhere near overweight, nevermind obese! I'm finally at my weight goal of 130-ish and I'm 2" shorter than you Smile

amother

Coffee

Tue, Apr 04 2017, 10:22 am

Squishy wrote:

What do you think they mean by "it's (sic) wise to be sensitive to the problem"?

How does that differ from what I have been saying all along?

It would be wise for all parents (no matter what percentile their child is in) to offer plenty of healthful food options and the more variety the better. To introduce new foods...plenty of fruit and veggies etc. It would be wise to elliminate sugary snacks and focus on whole grains. To offer water and milk and no sugar filled drinks. It would be wise to ensure their child has plenty of opportunity to move around and have lots of physical activity and no screen time. But ladies, please do not curtail or restrict the food intake of your babies unless under the direction of a doctor! And enjoy those pudgy cheeks! Smile

Fabulous

Tue, Apr 04 2017, 10:56 am

amother wrote:

While I agree with the rest of this post, 40th percentile for height and weight is not "very petite." It's very much in the average range.

it's also a look. My dd is in 40th percentile weight and 80th height and she gives a petite impression. I think it's because her face is small. She also loves to eat, although I provide only healthy options and she doesn't stop moving. She's got a cute little belly but skinny everywhere else. I had started to put her on blue milk (less fat) but doctor said not, the extra fat is needed for brain development.

33055

Tue, Apr 04 2017, 12:51 pm

amother wrote:

Now, please tell me how what you wrote differs from what I have saying.

Your last several posts have been completely agreeing with what I have been saying.

33055

Tue, Apr 04 2017, 12:55 pm

amother wrote:

You are breaking the rules by criticising me anonymously. Stand up and post under your screen name.