6yo son behavior | Imamother

hillary

Fri, Apr 14 2017, 12:51 pm

I read here abt zinc and magnesium but I saw somewhere that they lower the blood pressure. Since intuniv is a BP med, I was nervous to try these supplements together. My physcologist and pediatrician don't go for the alternative meds... So I can't consult wuth them. And yes, my child is not cut out for school.. We muddle along from crisis to crisis with help from his amazing therapist.

amother

Magenta

Wed, Apr 19 2017, 8:50 am

Sounds like me at that age. I have ADHD. I was only daignosed at age 7 and begun medication even later. It was a huge mistake that it waited so long. By that time, I was miserable, my parents were miserable, the whole house was miserable, the teachers were miserable. My relationship with my parents had already gone bad. The relationship between my parents was going bad. My feelings towards school were dismal. Everything was a struggle for me. But the adults around me just saw impulsivity and hyperactivity and didn't realize how much I was suffering underneath. Medication changed my life. Unfortunately, it was too late to undo the damage to my relationship with my mother (who had similar issues with me as you do with your son) and it was too late to undo my terrible relationship with school and schoolwork. 6 is not too young to diagnose ADHD. 6 is also not too young to medicate a child. If the child is suffering, that is enough to warrant medication. If the child is suffering, and the parents are suffering, even more so. Please, consider medicating your child now. I know there are experts who say you shouldn't, but there are also experts who say you should. If your child isn't actually miserable then ok, wait a bit and see. But be sure he isn't, because it isn't always easy to see as the behavior masks it sometimes. But please, consider it. At least consider going for a professional opinion.

Also, in the meantime, I highly recommend a parenting group or support group for parents of children with ADHD. There are many techniques you can learn to help manage these children better, and a professional in the field can help. Even if it's not ADHD, your son's symptoms overlap enoug hthat it will be helpful

Lastly, punishments and negative consequences alone do not work so well for a child with ADHD or impulsivity in general. Please consider adding a lot of positive reinforcement and psotivie incentives (sticker charts, prizes etc). Positive reinforcement, real incentives, and praise and prizes work much better. And of course, there will be negative consequences and time-outs also, but they shouldn't be the main mode of consequences.

amother

Pumpkin

Wed, Apr 19 2017, 9:04 am

Hugs OP. My son is 8 now but OMG he drove me crazy for years. He was diagnosed before he turned seven and has been on meds since. What a difference!!!

The major reason I put him on meds was because I heard someone in the extended family express hatred of my son. It shook me up that this delicious warm creative genius is not going to get a chance in life because of his behavior. I decided that whatever damage the meds can do, a lifetime of bad relationships can do much worse. I know several people who suffered throughout their childhood from undiagnosed or unmedicated ADHD and some of them are a real mess, with addictions or relationship problems.

My son is now still the same child, but when he takes his medication we can talk and laugh and bond. People enjoy him. He gets to taste success! He is also working with a therapist in school.

Now if only he would remember his meds on weekends... and if only getting refills was not such a hassle...

Please help your son and prevent a lifetime of pain!

amother

Violet

Wed, Apr 19 2017, 9:33 am

omg I just read this thread. and I am shocked because its hard to beleive there are so many more peopkle out there with this problem just like my ds.

to the poster who says her son is different then a year ago. its not so clear cut for every case. every child is different. some are more hyper some more emotionally disregulated. and some are more creative. usually kids with adhd dont have creativity. but there are different types. all in all they are hard to raise. but when you learn how to discipline its a huge satisfaction.

and there are milder cases and much more complicated cases. there is no one size fits all chinuch strategy that works with all kids.

medication helps alot but doesnt cure all of it. they struggle no matter what. all of us do. so I look at my son and say he has struggles as long as im calm and dont overeact he calms down way faster. its my motto these days, no matter what he does I gotta be super duper calm and remember these are his deficiencies that I have to accept.

just yesterday I was severly depressed about it till dh gave me chizuk and I was able to move on. to acceptance. its not easy but this challenge is what hashem in his infinite kindness gave me to love despite what they are.

op I cant give you advice.

amother

Plum

Wed, Apr 19 2017, 2:21 pm

amother wrote:

op I just reread your first post, and realized your ds isnt diagnosed yet? if you live in usa please go to a pediatrician and get your dc on meds it will give your child so much.

Op here. I wouldn't rely on the pediatrician for this. I'd probably shell out for a thorough neuropsych from someone specifically trained to diagnose ADHD and other childhood psych disorders.