Gift card for afikomen??

amother

Emerald

Fri, Apr 14 2017, 1:29 pm

My 8 year old has more toys and electronic gizmos than he knows what to do with (IMNSHO). Apparently he is so spoiled that there is nothing he still needs, because he asked his grandfather for a gift card for afikomen! I think it's odd and inappropriate.

I told him to ask for a book or something else that's specific, but he insisted on a vist to the electronics store. I can put my foot down about this or let it go. WWYD?

seeker

Fri, Apr 14 2017, 1:49 pm

I'd let it go but also take a moment to reassess why your kid doesn't seem to want anything that you deem appropriate. I'm not sure why you think a gift card is an inappropriate request but if you think it's odd that your 8-year-old has nothing left to want, then that's food for thought.

To me, asking for a gift card seems pretty smart - either he is having a hard time deciding and wants to buy time or go to the store to decide there, or he wants to save up for something and doesn't want to ask the grandparents for something inappropriately expensive. I'm guessing the former because most 8-year-olds don't have an awareness of what would be an inappropriately grandiose request. I've always been an indecisive type and would have had difficulty coming up with what to request on the spot.

SixOfWands

Fri, Apr 14 2017, 2:00 pm

amother wrote:

Pretty harsh to say about your own kid.

I'd say that he's the opposite of spoiled and entitled. He's satisfied with what he has now, but knows that in the not-too-distant future, there might be something else he would like. He's willing to forego instant gratification so that he can get something he really wants in the future.

amother

Lime

Fri, Apr 14 2017, 2:57 pm

My 8 year old also couldn't think of anything she wanted for an afikomen present. So she's out with her grandmother right now browsing in Michael's for a gift. She'll probably come home with more stuff then she would have if she asked for something outright, but that's a grandparent's prerogative.

I don't think it's a bad thing that kids don't know what they want if put on the spot. Otherwise it means they're keeping a mental list of toys or other material goods that they "need" to have. That's not the healthiest thing either.

amother

Emerald

Sat, Apr 15 2017, 9:50 pm

SixOfWands wrote:

Interesting perspective. I do believe he has way too much stuff. He owns a Yamaha keyboard, an mp3 player, large microphone/karaoke system, two-way radio set, a bicycle, electric scooter, regular scooter, boombox, electronic microscope, several remote control vehicles in various states of health - and I'm sure I'm forgetting a gadget or two. Some of these are even the second or third replacement for the originals that broke over time. I didn't even list the nonelectric toys he owns.

The kid is 8! Is this normal? Do kids today really have so much stuff? Do they all get the gadgets they want so easily? He seems to want new things every so often and actually gets it! My reference point is so far from this. My parents did not buy us whatever we wanted. Our grandparents didn't even know we wanted anything lol.

His father's family buys love with gifts. They didn't grow up very healthy, so it's hard for me to see them doing it to my kids. In the weeks leading up to Pesach he basically got his wish list taken care of. I have no objection to educational useful gifts like books, but doesn't he have enough electronics?

amother

Emerald

Sat, Apr 15 2017, 9:53 pm

amother wrote:

But he does that, too! He has simply reached the end of his list - for now. Is it healthy for kids to get what they want so easily that they run out of things to want?

amother

Emerald

Sat, Apr 15 2017, 9:58 pm

seeker wrote:

That's what I'm mulling over. He either has too much, or I am very out of touch with what's considered normal for kids these days. BH the problem is not about wanting inappropriate things.

I consider a gift card inappropriate as an afikomen gift because it's similar to asking for money. Isn't 8 a bit too young for such business transactions? Maybe it's a good sign that he is gaining some awareness of the value of money (in the abstract sense).

zaq

Sun, Apr 16 2017, 1:14 am

If your son's friends don't have all this chazzerei, then it's not normal in your circles. For children of Hollywood stars it may be. In any case, it doesn't really matter if other kids in the neighborhood have just as much stuff. You feel he has too much, and that's what matters.

As parents,you have the right to have a say in gifts your son receives. Why not tactfully suggest something with more long-term benefits like an Israel bond or shares of stock, or books, or lessons in something that will develop a useful skill? Or put a dollar value cap on gifts you will allow your ds to be given. Or have a rule that for every new gift ds gets he has to give away one older gift. You can claim that this is for inventory control, iow decluttering. Your house presumably doesn't have infinite storage space.

And if he keeps breaking things and getting replacements without having to work for them in some way, it's time to put the kibosh on that. Explain to your ini laws that you're trying to instill positive values like conservation and understanding the value of a dollar.