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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
amother
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 Thu, Sep 20 2007, 1:38 pm
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a dear freind of min e loves to take challa and "clean" the plate of all the food and juices from the salad. arent you soposed to leave over something a food or some juice for derech eretz? thats what I was allways taught. is this manners?
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Maya
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Thu, Sep 20 2007, 1:40 pm
It is not really mannered to do it, but it really depends on the situation.
If she does it in public, it's disgusting. At home, with just her husband at the table, it's still bad, but a bit more permissible.
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ny21
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Thu, Sep 20 2007, 2:44 pm
I would say this is poor manners
Last edited by ny21 on Tue, May 15 2012, 8:47 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
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Thu, Sep 20 2007, 3:00 pm
How embarrassing....I was never taught proper etiquette. I had no idea that you should leave food on your plate.
Is there a site where I can learn all of these rules so I don't (continue to) embarrass myself at people's homes? I'm wondering what etiquette rules I've broken and didn't even realize it!
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DefyGravity
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Thu, Sep 20 2007, 3:05 pm
I could care less. If I want to soak my challah in salad dressing that's left on my plate, or the little bit of soup that's left in my bowl, I'm going to do it.
As a hostess, I like to see that my guests like my food so much that they're practically licking the plate.
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Lani22
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Thu, Sep 20 2007, 3:07 pm
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I take chalah swept plates as a compliment to my delicious cooking!
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drumjj
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Thu, Sep 20 2007, 3:19 pm
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I do it at ppls houses and couldnt care less if they did it at mine I think it means that u like the food yummy.
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mimivan
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Thu, Sep 20 2007, 3:25 pm
Oh, that explains when I would come to my grandmother and say "I finished everything on my plate!" and she would say "You must want more" and start piling on food again!
I think cleaning one's plate is a sign that you want more, and it might not be so polite (except at a bubbie's house  ) in case there isn't any more (which I know from personal experience)  it can cause embarrassment to the hostess...
Then again, my husband told me it wasn't good manners of the hostess to give the guests too much food so it may be difficult for them to finish. (don't know if this is official etiquette, but it makes sense..especially in paying attention to comments like "so much food!")
But I am wondering, if leaving a bit of food is derech eretz, doesn't it cause a problem in terms of wasting food???which can be a halachic issue...
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Lani22
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Thu, Sep 20 2007, 3:35 pm
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I serve family style (all food is in the middle of the table on large serving platters and bowls) If one wants more then they take more......so an empty plate does not mean that they want more, it means to me that they ate and are satisfied.
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baba
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Thu, Sep 20 2007, 5:22 pm
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Coming from a more European background, we always clean the plates after soup, it's just too yummy to pass up. Also, leaving food on the plate is concidered and insult, the hostess will think you didnt like it. And to show you're done, you place your knife and for horizontal in the middle of the plate, to the right.
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Raisin
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Thu, Sep 20 2007, 5:54 pm
I wish all my guests cleared their plates like that, it would save me rinsing them b4 putting them in the dishwasher. 
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lamplighter
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Thu, Sep 20 2007, 6:21 pm
personally, I think challah sopping is disgusting. Finsihing the food on your plate is different. I think its fine either way but if you leave a lot of something on your plate it does look like u didnt like it.most of the homes Ive eaten at serve fmaily style in which one would take what and how they want so I dont particularily see the "politeness" of leaving some over.
either way I vote 4 eating guests as aopposed to picky ones.
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Ruchel
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Thu, Sep 20 2007, 6:30 pm
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Hostesses definitely get offended if you don't finish everything. Most even want you to ask for more!
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Mrs. XYZ
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Thu, Sep 20 2007, 9:02 pm
| Quote: | | I think cleaning one's plate is a sign that you want more, and it might not be so polite (except at a bubbie's house ) in case there isn't any more (which I know from personal experience) it can cause embarrassment to the hostess... |
Exactly, when a guest cleans off their plate, I always think maybe I didn't give enough.
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Mimisinger
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Thu, Sep 20 2007, 9:09 pm
I also serve family style (who doesn't? - maybe you plate fish....?) and as dh says, I'm always ready in case the 3rd mongolian army comes through. If there's a clean plate, it means you're done. I'm also not so keen on the sopping up the challah but, I wouldn't kick someone out of my house b/c of it . On the other hand, with all etiquette one must look at the community/culture that they are in - what is your host doing? Is your host cleaning his/her plate? Is the host sopping up the challah? If they do it, so can you, if they don't....
Also there is the Miss Manners book that dh and I bought for laughs. There's prob. all the info you need in there.
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Dini
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Thu, Sep 20 2007, 9:14 pm
so you eat everything from the plate and say 'wow I'm so full everything was so good, thank you'. I wouldn't mind if my guests said that.
and I definately think that cleaning the plate with challah is really not nice, even at home but I do do it
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amother
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Thu, Sep 20 2007, 10:30 pm
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Hey, as long as you don't literally LICK the plate clean, like I've seen my MIL do...
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chocolate moose
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Thu, Sep 20 2007, 11:17 pm
I guess no one picks up their soup bowls, and ......
Nah, that'd be TERRILBE manners, even if the soup is good, eh?
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GAMZu
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Fri, Sep 21 2007, 2:40 am
I went to kindergarten in Europe where a> they used real dishes, not disposable, and b> "Licking" the plate clean was encouraged and praised.
Once the nanny (assistant) was clearing off the dirty dishes after lunch (she had to wash them, too.)
One kid licked his plate clean and the nanny was so pleased. She lifted the plate for all to see and said, "This is the way we should eat. This plate is so clean, I don't have to wash it."
When I heard that, I almost choked on my food and quickly turned to see the plate- I wanted to remember which one it was to make sure I'll never get it... since the nanny wasn't planning on washing it. 
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