HELP! making a bar mitzvah in 2 weeks and I'm 22!!!
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Post  Thu, Apr 20 2017, 9:13 am
byisrael wrote:
Also kid is totally depressed about his bar mitzvah and is the first in his class so doesn't have anyone to compare to.

He is into music, has a gorgeous voice, and is into soccer...The soccer won't fly in his school but I don't know about a music theme -youngish bear can you weigh in?

You can make a music themed party. You can make a piano using white and dark chocolate wafers, make a guitar shaped cake using cupcakes, make musical note cookies, make microphones out of chocolate molds, etc. The decorations, plates, cups, etc could all have musical notes on them. You can tie it into the Bar Mitzvah theme by making it all black and white (symbolic of the boys wearing black pants and white shirts after bar mitzvah). You can have acapella singing/music which would allow the boys to dance as well. You can have a singing competition. There are lots of different things you can do to tie in the musical theme to the bar mitzvah theme and make it simple but elegant.
Check out pinterest for more ideas-- https://www.pinterest.com/expl.....s/?lp=true
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Post  Thu, Apr 20 2017, 10:29 am
crust wrote:
So this is really more than a just a bar mitzvah that you are handling. Wow. Kados to you.
My heart is melting for the boy with his dark secret inside of him.
I can't say that once it will be out he'll feel better because sadly, boys this age have the potential to crush a kid with thier often painfull comments. If he does reveal it he needs proper support and cushioning as to how to go about with them.
He will never regain trust in adults again!!!
Is it possible to connect him to an understanding ruv, therapist Madrich?
This would be the biggest gift one can give him lekuvod his bar mitzvah.

We had a big meeting with all the adults involved in his life (including his therapist, rav, mashgiach, and rebbi). Final descion is to get a shul hall, make a nice party (I'm going to start the gemachim now Shocked ), have a figure in the dorm who looks the part and is close to him fill in as a father figure at the event and let the kids assume he is the father, the rebbi will get the kids to do grammen and shtick.

Now we just need to find money for this Dont know but I'm sure it will come together...
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Post  Thu, Apr 20 2017, 11:57 am
What type of crowd is his class? Also is it in a hall?
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Post  Thu, Apr 20 2017, 1:54 pm
You might want to get a punch drink dispenser where kids can dispense drink on their own, it's fun, color, (OJ and syrup) and attractive. And a wow
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Post  Thu, Apr 20 2017, 2:48 pm
amother wrote:
What type of crowd is his class? Also is it in a hall?

Chassidish, Israeli....

Yes - nice shul hall....
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Post  Thu, Apr 20 2017, 2:54 pm
Call every gemach listed and if you have any friends in the catering business, you can ask for a deal, it can be considered tzedaka.
There should be organizations who help with this type of thing.
Can you figure out a budget or projected expense?
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proud mama


Post  Thu, Apr 20 2017, 11:04 pm
byisrael wrote:
I don't see myself as amazing just as some who cares about a really sweet boy in a real bad situation.....
I'm in Israel and the crowd is chassidish and I'm not really familiar with the socail norms which makes this even more complicated.

I'm not from Isreal but here in the US in the Cassidish circles many are not into decoration etc. and so it is really up to what you feel like doing and how much you want to invest.

Dessert tables are optional and most dessert tables are comprised of salad and cut up fruit and some miniatures. These are totally optional though and considered an upgrade. Another option is to have benchers or something with his name at the place settings.

Otherwise, the standard meal is enough. The caterer will give you a choice of tablecloths and you can choose a color. You can either do a favorite color as some suggest or match it to the hall decor. The caterer will probably provide the paper goods as well. So, before you panic call up and find out what they provide and what you need to.

There is usually aa Bar Mitzvah Cake or tefillin cake which is a cake that has the boys name and decorated with chocolate tefillin on the head table.

I would echo some sentiment here about involving the boy in the planning and offering choices that you are willing to present when deciding. This will build excitement and make him feel cared for and listened to.

The main thing is ENJOY the event and do exactly what you feel like and how much you feel like.

May this be a zechis for you!
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Post  Fri, Apr 21 2017, 1:21 am
For desert table: rice crispy treats covered with dark chocolate and drizzled with white chocolate, cut in to diamond or neat square shape. Regular browny cake - cut by cookie cutter and sprinkled with powder sugar, nicely arranged. Layered different colors, Jello with whip cream on top - either mini individual portions or two large truffle bowls. Mazel Tov to all involved!
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Post  Fri, Apr 21 2017, 10:55 am
if you tell any caterer or gemachs or even places to order cake or any professional place you plan to order the cake they might give it for no charge. tell them the childs situation.

many people donate in such a case. I agree ifyou can find someone who can help him guide him in his emotional world would be one of the greatest mitzvas. and not easy I know. pooor kid. my heart breaks for him. :(
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Post  Fri, Apr 21 2017, 6:54 pm
good for you ... but please get the entire town to pitch in some way or other
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Post  Sat, Apr 22 2017, 4:31 pm
Iymnok wrote:
It sounds like you have to make it nice, but super normal.

Shul hall is fine. Any Shul, it's the hall that's rented, not the affiliation with the Shul.
For paper goods, go to the chad peami store and get Nice looking things. One style, two colors, one darker, one lighter. table runners do add, but find out if the tables are long or round. There are gemachim for centerpieces.

Make a beautiful dessert table. Think like a kiddush for a girl in your home. Trays of cookies and miniatures, little mousse cups, a large cake in the middle with tefillin and his name. This cake must look professional. It is the centerpiece of the dessert table. Have something decorating it like flowers at two corners.
If you set the cookies and miniatures on mirrors from a gemach, it looks fancy and really simple. Square/rectangle is easier than oval.

If you can find some yeshiva katana bochurim tossing, that would really add.

Flowers on the cake or table? Not necessary.
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Post  Sat, Apr 22 2017, 4:34 pm
Dessert table:

Cake (decorate very simply - don't forget his name)
Tefillin shaped chocolates (get a mould, melt chocolate chips, fill, freeze for 20 minutes) - You can churn out a hundred of these very simply in between the other stuff you're doing.
I've seen gold carton tefillin boxes that can be filled with candy.
Shaped candy dishes in "13" or "mazel tov" (Hebrew).
You can do candy/marshmallow/fruit skewers...several skewers displayed in tall bottles/glasses like vases.
Glitter "13" and "mazel tov" to sprinkle on the tables for decoration.
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Post  Sun, Apr 23 2017, 1:24 pm
Caterer will suply tablecloths. Find out about dishes and cutlery. Make a nice dessert table with a few diff. types of cake/cookies cut into small squares. Arrange on glass platters. Go into any chad pe'ami store and check out the stuff they have for bar-mitzva's: little flags to scatter on table or paper tefillin etc. Need one fancy cake for centerpiece. Make one long head table for bar-mitzva boy, rebbe and father figure. 2 tall candlesticks on this table, with centerpiece.

Contact "yad Eliezer" for help with fundin. Contact neighborhood rav as well for help with funding.
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