Single girl out with friends until 1AM- is this appropriate?

amother

Ecru

Mon, Apr 24 2017, 10:03 pm

Is it appropriate for a good religious single girl to be out with friends until 1AM? Am I being reasonable by not being ok with it?

amother

Cerulean

Mon, Apr 24 2017, 10:09 pm

how old is she? If she is "good" why does it matter how late she is out?

greenfire

Mon, Apr 24 2017, 10:12 pm

it depends what she is doing & what her responsibilities are in the morning and/or if she is capable of whatever task that may be

zaq

Mon, Apr 24 2017, 10:17 pm

Is she seventeen and is it a school night? Or is she twenty four? Makes a difference. I'm always concerned about the safety of women of any age or marital status out late at night, (or men for that matter) but I wouldn't say that staying out late with friends iis inappropriate behavior for an unmarried person over the age of twenty one. I would hope for the sake of her health, looks, schooling and work that she doesn't do this very often, though. That would be cause for concern.

amother

Pink

Mon, Apr 24 2017, 10:33 pm

To echo previous posters:
If it was my 15 year old daughter then no way!
But my 24 year old single sister, why not? She's an adult, not a child (though, my 15 year old thinks she's an adult too Rolling Eyes

but that's for a different thread lol? )

tigerwife

Mon, Apr 24 2017, 11:00 pm

What would be inappropriate about it?
Is there a difference between two 21 year old girls who are out that late and a 21 year old husband and wife who are out that late?

If you are a parent who is worried about safety, maybe ask your daughter to text you that she'll be home late so you don't stay up all night wondering where she is.

zaq

Mon, Apr 24 2017, 11:08 pm

tigerwife wrote:

What would be inappropriate about it?
Is there a difference between two 21 year old girls who are out that late and a 21 year old husband and wife who are out that late?

.

Or two married 21year old women friends whose husbands work the night shift?

tigerwife

Mon, Apr 24 2017, 11:18 pm

zaq wrote:

Or two married 21year old women friends whose husbands work the night shift?

The unexpected twist!

MagentaYenta

Mon, Apr 24 2017, 11:19 pm

tigerwife wrote:

The unexpected twist!

She's good at that stuff. LOL

amother

Navy

Mon, Apr 24 2017, 11:20 pm

I certainly was out many late nights post high school before I got married. Great memories.. and we were totally safe and innocent, just enjoying life.

amother

Ecru

Mon, Apr 24 2017, 11:41 pm

She is 23 years old and I know it's not such a big deal but I am scared that if people see her out until 1 or 2AM then it's not going to be good for shidduchim because people will think she is not a good girl.

tigerwife

Mon, Apr 24 2017, 11:50 pm

Unless I saw someone in an undeniably questionable position (and we'd try to be dlz in that case), I wouldn't think twice about someone out late at night. I'll admit I was quite the late night/ early AM prowler back in my single days and believe me it made no difference to my shidduchim.

mommy3b2c

Tue, Apr 25 2017, 12:12 am

If she is doing appropriate things, then it's appropriate. If she's doing inappropriate things, it doesn't matter what time it is. Wh n I was 18 I used to stay out late all the time. When I was 19, I got engaged. So I guess it didn't ruin my shidduchim.

Ilovemaryland

Tue, Apr 25 2017, 1:18 am

sourstix wrote:

Something tells me op is nervousr for a good reason......

I tend to agree with you.. Is she at a Chasana or vort with close friends , or hanging out at a pizza shop or Dunkin Donuts

shabbatiscoming

Tue, Apr 25 2017, 1:56 am

amother wrote:

You seem to know many people that are out very late.
But seriously, why are you worried that others will see her at that hour? I think its fine. A 23 year old should be able to take care of herself.

MagentaYenta

Tue, Apr 25 2017, 2:03 am

amother wrote:

Think for a minute. What does it say about the folks who see her while she is out? What were they doing out so late? Why weren't Moishe and Yankel home with their pregnant wives? Why was Irena and Mina out so late and not home with their husbands and families? At some point someone has to opt out of this paranoia game and yield to rational thought.

amother

Ecru

Tue, Apr 25 2017, 3:36 am

Ilovemaryland wrote:

I tend to agree with you.. Is she at a Chasana or vort with close friends , or hanging out at a pizza shop or Dunkin Donuts

She goes out to pizza or a coffee shop with her friends at night sometimes. She is not the type to do anything bad I am just worried that others might not see her as a good girl if she is out so late at night.