What makes a woman think she is/isn't beautiful?

nechamashifra

Tue, Apr 25 2017, 6:57 pm

How about her looks is what makes her think she is/isn't beautiful. What's wrong with recognizing reality? I'm not beautiful (even though I could be if looking at myself in the mirror from my left side when I'm dressed up and made-up and standing at a certain angle in a candle-lit room;)

There are always going to be people better-looking then you and people worse-looking then you, just like there are going to be people better and worse at maths, painting, business, football.... is it going to crush my self-esteem to know that I won't be chosen as a model? No. Just like it wouldn't hurt me if someone were to say sorry dear your chances of ever being a scientist are not looking good.

I don't think self-esteem is built on people giving you compliments - telling your kids they're the most beautiful in the whole world, just like telling them that they can be anything they want to be, is not helpful (and you're just confusing them). Instead, face reality - find what you're good at and what you enjoy and work hard at it - that is what builds self-esteem.

mamamia1

Wed, Apr 26 2017, 12:03 am

Do You Think You Are Ugly? https://www.meaningfullife.com.....ugly/

Didnt actually read through the whole thread.
I saw this article and then this thread title so copying the link.
Food for thought

Boca00

Wed, Apr 26 2017, 12:26 am

mamamia1 wrote:

Do You Think You Are Ugly? https://www.meaningfullife.com.....ugly/

Didnt actually read through the whole thread.
I saw this article and then this thread title so copying the link.
Food for thought

Very interesting! Thanks for sharing

amother

Denim

Wed, Apr 26 2017, 4:57 am

I think it's true that people believe what they were told by their parents.

My parents always used to (and they still do) tell me how extraordinarily clever and intelligent I am. For that reason, I have a stronger belief in my cleverness than in my beauty (though I also had an IQ test which comforted what they said).

I don't think I'm beautiful and actually when I was younger I hated myself and was convinced that I looked like a monster (eating disorders and dysmorphophobia...).

Nowadays, I don't think I look "beautiful" but I think I may have something special.

FranticFrummie

Wed, Apr 26 2017, 8:19 am

Which comes first, confidence or beauty? Why and how? Those are the important questions.

I recently read "The Beauty Myth", a feminist classic by Naomi Wolf. (She's pretty harsh on patriarchal religions, and gets Judaism wrong, but over look that part. The rest is completely spot on.) Really, go read it!

Then watch the amazing documentary "Iris", about Iris Apfel, the NY fashion icon, who is not "pretty" at all. You'll be very inspired.

I think I am beautiful, but not in the way that will ever make the cover of Vogue. I have my own chein, which is a gift from Hashem (and a little help from Mabelline Wink

)

"Who is rich? The one who is satisfied with what they have." ~Pirkei Avot. You can say the same thing about "Who is beautiful?" Being satisfied with what Hashem gave you, having a grateful attitude, and a confident smile, will make any woman pretty and zexy. Very Happy

amother

Babypink

Wed, Apr 26 2017, 8:33 am

I think I am beautiful as I hear t from others and see in the mirror. However having never ever been told it by my parents (to be fair I was not pretty til closer to adulthood but my parents have still never told me to this day), even though I know I'm pretty, I always feel the need to look in the mirror and I don't always feel good about the way I look.