Changing from shaitel to tichel-kerchief

queenert

Thu, May 04 2017, 6:05 pm

I did it.
Never ever ever planned to.
I hated snoods, thought they looked shlumpy, etc. But that was before Wrapunzel. Smile

Decided to switch for a variety of reasons, one of them being that I actually felt more beautiful in wraps.
(I do happen to be sefardi but I was raised culturally ashkenazi so it was a contributing factor, but it didn't make the change easier.)
Took it slow...started some days, and eventually just stopped.
In fact, we got a new co-worker a month or so after I stopped and she asked if I wear sheitels and my other co-workers said, yeah, she does! And I was like...actually I don't anymore... Smile

She hadn't even noticed that I stopped!
I thought weddings would be hard and they were, but not as hard as I thought. It helped that my first wedding was very very very small and modern so no one cared, and my second was about a year after I started and I didn't really know anyone.
I worried about my siblings weddings but we just had one and I felt gorgeous, everyone kept complimenting me, and no one cared (siblings, I mean. I was worried they'd feel like I was ruining the pictures or something).
It's really nice not having to pack a sheitel or get it done or take up counter space with the head. But it's also annoying having to coordinate - I have some outfits that I love that I don't really wear because I haven't found a scarf that matches yet. It's also annoying switching them around when you switch around your wardrobe for seasons/maternity.
During busy/lazy times like pregnancy/postpartum etc. keep some non-time consuming options like berets or hats or pretieds.

Tips:
1. Keep in mind that no one really cares. Even if they think you're weird, the thought goes through their head for about 2 seconds. (And most people just think you look nice...I'm talking for the people that don't.) If you're having issues with people, make sure you're not acting holier than thou, and if you're not, ignore them.
2. Practice, practice, practice. Your arms will hurt for the first few months. Smile

3. Make some space for lots of scarves if you're the co-ordinating type. Smile

4. Have fun!

watergirl

Thu, May 04 2017, 6:12 pm

I also swiched. Not sefardi either, and my whole family is BT - they all like the tichel look better on me. Sheitels... theyre fine. Great for some... but I find with tichels (wrapunzel style), the person shines. I've never been into mh sheitel and I've personally had a lot of agmas negesh from them. I quit sheitels years ago but felt bluch. Now I've been doing this style for over 3-4 years and finally feel like myself and very happy to cover. We all need to find what works for us. Ya know?

Start slow. No one cares if its not perfect! I used to watch the youtube wrapunzel videos in my room and press pause every 3 seconds as I followed step by step. In no time, I got the hang of it and just watch the new videos for ideas. Look for the older ones for beginners. You want the Andrea videos. She is basic, simple, and very beautiful styles. Also formal, by the way.

There are lots of other places to get tichels for less money, but get some basics there. Also, a volumizer is a must.

L K

Thu, May 04 2017, 8:43 pm

workingema wrote:

oh wow! thanks for the support here:) my biggest problem now is that I don't know of a store that sells the volumizers here in Rockland County... I would have to order online, but how do I know what I like??? I have no idea what the FIRST initial step I need to take to even BEGIN trying!!

I've always worn tichels but never with the proper "under-layers", like a volumizer. Finally, my old tichels were worn out and awful and uncomfortable.

I took plunge and compiled a kind of essentials set from wrapunzel to see which types I like, how they feel, look etc. then I found tons of similar types of scarves from a different source and stocked up.

Here is what I got from wrapunzel:
- oomphtastic scrunchie
- velvet headband in black
- signature shaper in black
- Wendy shaper in white

- solid pashmina in black
- lakeshore bliss pashminas in grey and blue
- 2 in 1 in black and aqua
- shimmery in dark red
- a few odds-and-ends in other colors tichels on sale (ombré,two tone, a sash) brown, cream, pink/purple

This wrapunzel "kit" was essentially a small and very versatile bunch that could be coordinated with most of my clothing and used as a basis for building my tichel wardrobe. After I figured out how I liked to wear them and whats comfortable for me- I know which parts of "collection" I can fill in.

I personally find that signature shaper is indispensable. I first wore headbands and switched to shaper altogether because it supports the weight of heavier scarves and doesnt let hairs poke through thin or medium weight ones, and conceals the odd shape that you often get when using just a pony under the tichel, while giving you a nice solid base for wrapping scarf around, even if you have your own hair.

watergirl

Thu, May 04 2017, 9:45 pm

L K wrote:

You picked awesome stuff! I would just suggest that if someone is trying to not spend so much money, theres really no need to buy the headband these days, or the scrunchy, because the newer shapers (op, thats another word for volumizer) have one sewn in.

It's funny, all of my snoods and pre-tieds from before were black. I have now maybe 150 tichels and not a single black one! I cant pull off the black. Never knew how unflattering it was on me until I woke up!

Love lakeshore bliss, by the way. Totally my favorite.

Boca00

Thu, May 04 2017, 10:54 pm

I wear tichels exclusively, but I did buy a gorgeous sheitel that I wear at home only. It helped me a lot knowing that I have this at home so I could dress up when I want to and not feel so different... But its too long and pretty to be tznius out of the house so I'm not tempted to just throw it on one day. So if you're making the switch, its nice to keep your sheitels to wear just at home.

The hardest is to wear them to weddings, for me. I went to 3 siblings and one sibling in law's weddings, and despite being nervous before I was totally comfortable during and got tons of compliments. Noone has ever said anything rude to me when I wear scarves... I've only gotten really nice comments.

Coordinating can be tricky. I have a black shimmery one that I wear as a go-to when nothing else matches, or I just throw on a cable knit snood.

I personally dont go for the volumnizer look as where I live its not so common to wear tichels and I dont like to stand out too much. But I wear the no slip headband and an extra layering tichel for extra volume and a more perfect bun.

Anyway, good luck!

jewwoman

Fri, May 05 2017, 2:33 am

Im really curious about what your husbands say. I would love to start wearing scarves. Not all the time but to have the option of it. I only wear them at home as its not common in my neighbourhood. I used to wear them out of my home because we lived in israel. But weI moved a while ago and I cant seem to get away with it anymore. I never did the big poofy wrapunzel ones I just tied a scarf as a bandana. But my husband wont think about it. I love them and feel beautiful in them. But he wont hear of it. I already wear different snoods to everyone in his family and mine (not that my family care). Also ive been wearing a shaitel to work amd most of my colleagues aren't frum so im bound to get comments. Just cant seem to take the plunge.

watergirl

Fri, May 05 2017, 6:49 am

jewwoman wrote:

Try the wrapunze style. Its a totally different look. I also wear a simple scarf without the volumizer, but to go out, to work in my non frum/not jewish office, shul... the volumizer really changes the look to something more.

My husband loves it. For years, he saw me struggling with my sheitels. Always wanting the next, or expensive one, always being sad because I couldn't afford it, never liking the way I looked in it, staticy, notted. Hashkafically, I also had issues with it. He says I shine in a colorful tichel. Try one and see if he likes it. I think that part of the reason that I "shine" is because I am happy with it and that is reflected in my face. Theres a lot to say for "happy wife happy life". Also, no more paying for those expensive wash and sets! I buy scarves for $3-4 on aliexpress and sometimes from more expensive places like wrapunzel or similar. So for the same $35-$40 that he paying someone to watch my wig, instead I buy $15 worth of new scarves when I need something new. And Ally express, it'll get you six new scarves!

watergirl

Fri, May 05 2017, 7:41 am

Ruchel wrote:

Along the time I have seen soooo many of those "loud tichel wearers" type go (back or discover) sheitels, either "sometimes", or "a lot" or even always. I had the last laugh after all the preaching from them.

Where you see preaching, I see encouragement. I never say that this is for everyone. I say whats best for me, and offer chizzuk when someone needs it.

queenert

Fri, May 05 2017, 8:28 am

If you're trying to budget, try out some styles first before buying a ton, and check out what Wrapunzel (the blog, older post) has to say about face shape and different styles (and their posts about color are good too if you don't already know what colors look good on you).
If you have long/thick hair, you may not need a volumizer. Instead, I put my hair up, then put on a velvet headband, then a thin pre-tied. This gives me the more smoothed shape that the volumizer gives (not as good, but pretty close) but is much more comfortable.
I bought a few basic, specific scarves from Wrapunzel - they're a great resource - but really, my collection comes from regular stores - Forever21, H&M, JCP, Kohls, even the dollar store! Smile

Oh, and I downloaded the Wrapunzel videos using some free youtube downloader software so I could watch them again and again, pause them without buffering, etc. Not sure if it's legal, but look into it.

ChayaMalka

Wed, Jun 21 2017, 7:37 pm

I wore a sheitel for years...over 20 of them. I never felt comfortable. I always felt like a fraud, and wearing another person's hair kind of made me uneasy. I gradually switched to tichels a couple years ago and I just feel so much more like my authentic self. My husband refers to them as shmattes, but he's only once told me he didn't like a scarf I was wearing. It went in the donation bin (lime green is evidently not my color) and I have never heard another complaint.