When do you talk to your daughter about menstruation.

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Advanced Search Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling

1 2 3 Next

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother

Saddlebrown

Mon, May 08 2017, 7:15 am

At what age do you talk to your daughter about her period? Im not talking about a s&x talk, just about her period? Would 9 be a good age? My oldest is turning 9 in a few weeks and I feel like I should talk to her about it.
I just wanted to hear when others did the same.

Aylat

Mon, May 08 2017, 7:24 am

9 or 10. When I saw the beginning of puberty (eg breasts starting to develop).

ETA we had already talked about puberty and body changes before that.

Chayalle

Mon, May 08 2017, 7:25 am

For sure by the time she turns 10. If you feel your daughter is ready, then trust your motherly instincts and go ahead and talk to her.

FranticFrummie

Mon, May 08 2017, 7:34 am

Some girls are starting as early as 8 now. I started the talk early, in small doses, so that when the time came she was already really used to the idea. She took it totally in stride when she started.

I've heard way too many horror stories about girls who were caught unaware, and thought they were dying. No way was I going to let that happen. Better too soon, than too late.

amother

Babyblue

Mon, May 08 2017, 7:39 am

Definitely tell now. Lots of girls get periods at 9 these days. Even if it's unlikely your daughter will be one of those girls, odds are she already has classmates who have gotten it (and if not, very likely someone will very soon).

amother

Rose

Mon, May 08 2017, 7:42 am

I would tell her when she's 8. There are girls already starting puberty then these days, and you don't want it to be a shock for her. Give her time to get used to the idea.

Ruchel

Mon, May 08 2017, 7:44 am

It's for bat mitsva. Unless your family runs early. White girls are later as a whole, bear that in mind when checking your country's average. 12 sounds fine to know about it; moms also offer the wonder of becoming you for bat mitsva.
before you attack this, use google - it's common here to attack on this topic for some reason

Chayalle

Mon, May 08 2017, 7:57 am

Ruchel wrote:

Girls should know about periods when their peers are getting it - not just their family.

Ruchel

Mon, May 08 2017, 8:00 am

There's no way to know when the peers get it, except maybe the bff who will confide... But girls I grew up with didn't discuss getting it really, and that was public school!

amother

Rose

Mon, May 08 2017, 8:00 am

Ruchel wrote:

Not in the US anymore. Girls are getting it far earlier these days.

My mom got her period at 15. I got mine at 11, and now there are many girls getting their periods at 9.

simcha2

Mon, May 08 2017, 8:01 am

Ruchel wrote:

Because I, and many, many other "white" girls got our period before bas mitzvah.

Even those girls that don't, most have body changes before bat mitzvah. To leave a girl wondering what is happening to herself is cruel.

amother

Mint

Mon, May 08 2017, 8:02 am

chayalle why should they find out not jsut family but because of peers?

Ruchel

Mon, May 08 2017, 8:05 am

Hence why I said to look at your country's average, as well as your family and race... Anyway. This is what mechanchot advise etc. Don't like it, don't do it. It's just another topic,nothing soooo intense. LOL

tichellady

Mon, May 08 2017, 8:07 am

amother wrote:

chayalle why should they find out not jsut family but because of peers?

I'm not chayalle, but girls talk amongst themselves (which is normal). I knew when each of my good friends got her period. I got mine when I was 12.5 but starting earlier my mom made sure I had pads in my backpack in case I got my period for the first time in school or camp.

animeme

Mon, May 08 2017, 8:09 am

I think 9 can be a little early for a girl showing zero development signs, but you have to know your kid's maturity level. We broke out the purple book at age 10/4th grade, but I kept my eyes out for signs earlier and talked to my pediatrician each year about when she might expect it based on signs.

Also, talk to her school about when/if they educate. Dd's school did, in 5th grade, but by then most of the girls knew everything already. I would not have wanted my dd to feel she was the only one who knew nothing.

Chayalle

Mon, May 08 2017, 8:21 am

animeme wrote:

I kept my eyes out for signs earlier and talked to my pediatrician each year about when she might expect it based on signs.

For all of you who think your pediatrician can tell when your child might get her period...my daughter had a well-visit in the morning, and pediatrician said she likely has another year, based on the signs....she got it that afternoon!

If your daughter's peers are getting their period, there may be talk, and your daughter will be at a social disadvantage and could end up embarrassing herself if you haven't talked to her.

A friend of mine used to teach 5th grade in a RW school in Lakewood. She said almost every year there would be a girl who got her period...and girls who didn't know what it was and acted immaturely....

sequoia

Mon, May 08 2017, 8:28 am

When my classmate got her period at nine, she was so miserable she told everyone.

She was as WASP as can be. At least she knew what it was, even if she didn't expect to get it for another few years.

This whole "white girls develop later" thing is really unreliable. Your daughter could be the exception.

ra_mom

Mon, May 08 2017, 8:39 am

Nobody can predict when the first period will come. But once those tiny buds start appearing, it's a sign that she's on her way and you need to get on it.

Often the period will appear 2 years after those first buds start up. BUT. If you're not assisting your child in the shower every night, and she doesn't tell you when she first starts to feel tenderness (you don't see it at first), then you may now know when it actually started.

Take into account 3 things in determining the right time, then choose the youngest age of the 3, while still leaving you room for margin of error so she's prepared for when it happens: youngest age that you/your sisters/dh sisters got theirs, the start of her breast buds, and the development of her peers. (You don't want her hearing about it from her peers before you get to speak to her. She may hear the wrong information, it may not be presented in the way you wanted it to be, and it may scare her.)

It's a good idea to speak of the developing body even before you need to speak about periods. It should be an ongoing discussion. Hair. Breasts. Etc. Answer questions she has about when kids develop them and what purpose they serve. It's not meant to be a boom here's all the information in one shot kind of thing.

essie14

Mon, May 08 2017, 8:58 am

ra_mom wrote:

Exactly. It should be a series of conversations. I would never want my daughter to be freaked out about what is happening to her body. I always saw my mom's bras hanging in the laundry room and she always told me "One day you will need a bra too" - it was never a shock to me. She told me I would feel tenderness and I told her when it started.
When I developed enough she took me to get my first bra. She bought me pads way before I got my period and I was very well prepared.

TwinsMommy

Mon, May 08 2017, 9:01 am

my daughter is almost 10 and a half and started developing much earlier than I expected. She's had breasts and pubic hair for a while now. so it was probably more than a year ago that we had the first talk about it. Then more recently she spotted a little and I showed her how pads work. The school nurse brought it up to me that she's got pads and is prepared for 4th and 5th graders to come in for first periods. We were talking about something else and it took me aback--- already? holy ... wow.... yeah.... and then she spotted once.... so I know it's coming soon.

Page 1 of 3

1 2 3 Next