Order of your Friday night Brachos for children?

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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Shabbos, Rosh Chodesh, Fast Days, and other Days of Note

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In what order do your children receive brachos Friday night?

Oldest to youngest

85%

[ 46 ]

youngest to oldest

[ 0 ]

other special order

[ 1 ]

random order

12%

[ 7 ]

Total Votes : 54

amother

Blonde

Mon, May 08 2017, 10:28 am

We've been having an ongoing conflict (not my husband and myself but some of the kids) regarding the order of the Friday night brachos for the kids. One person is asserting his rights as a bechor to go first and one child who really wants a turn to go first and it's causing major issues. We've come up with all types of negotiations etc. but both of them are very strong personalities (and stubborn!)

Just curious....how do you do your brachos? Is it eldest to youngest? Is it random order? Some other type of "special" order?

Thanks!

Iymnok

Mon, May 08 2017, 10:34 am

Oldest first youngest last. The sleeping ones get brachos too.

rikki 1

Mon, May 08 2017, 10:35 am

We give "remote' brachos to kids away for shabbos, as well

mha3484

Mon, May 08 2017, 10:56 am

Oldest to youngest but at this point only the oldest is awake for the meal.

tichellady

Mon, May 08 2017, 11:09 am

We always did youngest to oldest in our house. When siblings get married, their spouses are added in by age order as well.

doctorima

Mon, May 08 2017, 11:18 am

Oldest to youngest, though that doesn't always avoid the same friction that OP describes. Occasionally an older child will offer to be m'vater and let a younger child go first to make them happy, which is nice.

amother

White

Mon, May 08 2017, 11:34 am

The order doesn't matter. The competitiveness does. What's really going on with the kids?

animeme

Mon, May 08 2017, 11:48 am

Whoever is easiest to find/catch. Or we go around the table.

Any order done regularly will eventually produce complaints from the kids who are last (or first, depending on what it's about.) I don't think that's strange.

little_mage

Mon, May 08 2017, 1:35 pm

We go oldest to youngest, and yes, it upsets my 3 year old, who wants to be first in most things these days. I sympathize, and figure it's a good chinuch lesson in not getting everything you want.

groovy1224

Mon, May 08 2017, 1:41 pm

Oldest to youngest. It's just non-negotiable. Not because it's wrong to do it another way, but because I refuse to refereee. So we just stick to the same system.

There are plenty of opportunities for my kids to fight over who goes first, so I'm happy to have one instance where we skip the drama.

Studious

Mon, May 08 2017, 1:45 pm

We do oldest to youngest and it's never really an issue. Why should it matter to the kid? I mean it isn't food?

Ema of 5

Mon, May 08 2017, 1:51 pm

We do oldest to youngest. That's how my father did it as well. My mother didn't give us brachos. My husband didn't get a bracha Friday night. Now we both do it. First they go to my husband, then they come to me. When we are with my parents for shabbos. My father gives me a bracha, as well as my kids. And if they want a bracha from my mother, she will give as well.
To the person who said sleeping children get brachos as well, how do you do this?

animeme

Mon, May 08 2017, 2:39 pm

We always give sleeping kids brachos. Just go to their bed and put hands on their head and bless them, same as anyone else.

Iymnok

Mon, May 08 2017, 2:54 pm

animeme wrote:

We always give sleeping kids brachos. Just go to their bed and put hands on their head and bless them, same as anyone else.

Exactly.
And from the door of their room if it would wake them up.

trixx

Mon, May 08 2017, 3:27 pm

Sounds like "shimmy the youngest"

amother

Floralwhite

Mon, May 08 2017, 3:33 pm

amother wrote:

The order doesn't matter. The competitiveness does. What's really going on with the kids?

What's really going on? OP bh has normal regular kids who know how to argue and say 'me first' like all other normal regular kids do.

salt

Tue, May 09 2017, 4:25 am

round the table.

ima22

Tue, May 09 2017, 4:46 am

We do oldest to youngest and it was a big deal at our Friday night table too for a while with my youngest tantruming EVERY Friday night. Youngest just didn't want to be last and kept trying to jump the line.

I started giving brachos too and they get youngest to oldest from me which mitigates the drama somewhat.

salt

Tue, May 09 2017, 5:43 am

ima22 wrote:

That sounds like an excellent compromise. Unless of course there are specially mummy's-kids and/or daddy's kids who want the other parent to bless them first.
Or until a middle kid starts complaining... Wink

zaq

Tue, May 09 2017, 8:17 am

[quote="Studious"]We do oldest to youngest and it's never really an issue. Why should it matter to the kid? I mean it isn't food?[/quote]

LOL!

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