Schools in Israel | Imamother

amother

Powderblue

Wed, May 10 2017, 7:17 pm

Hi, family and I are considering coming to Israel for a year. Not Aliyah. Just a year to give our children ages 11,10,9, and 4 a chance to appreciate their heritage, the culture, immerse themselves in the language and feel a bond with Israel.
Because we don't have the resources of Nefesh bnefesh, I'm reaching out to you all. Best dati / mizrachi type of communities.that will have appropriate schooling for my kids. Ideally a few other English speakers but not a must.
Any info would be appreciated

essie14

Thu, May 11 2017, 10:11 am

amother wrote:

We definitely don't want to go to a place that feels like a mini US. The point is to be immersed in the language and culture. Feeling overwhelmed with all the possibilities, so thank you all for responding

Do you want to live in Jerusalem?
You can manage there without a car. There are many Anglo neighborhoods. (I find the DL neighborhoods very well integrated, which I don't feel in the chareidi Anglo neighborhoods; those feel like America to me)
OTOH apartments are expensive.
If you would like more living space, you will probably be better off in Bet Shemesh, Efrat, Neve Daniel, or other suburbs.

Rehovot has a really nice mix of Anglos and friendly Israelis. It's also a city and you can get by without a car.

I don't know what you mean by "appropriate schooling".

FranticFrummie

Thu, May 11 2017, 10:44 am

Oh my gosh, the schooling is SO different here!

Kids are very "exuberant". Some would say they are wild. It's considered normal.

Kids will want whatever snack your child has. They expect you to share, and they will not ask before taking.

Girls scream - a LOT, at every little thing.

The school will promise you Hebrew tutoring. The tutor will not show up half the time, for "personal reasons".

No one will translate for you or your kids. Kids are expected to sit in an all Hebrew class, and just "pick it up eventually". Your kids will be bored to death because they are not learning.

DD sat and drew in her notebook for a year and a half, and no one cared.

Bullies rule, and if your kids don't stand up for themselves, they will be trampled.

If you complain, the school will seat your kid next to the bully, "so they can become friends". This never ends well.

You have to be tough to be an Israeli. If your kids are sensitive, gentle, or quiet, they are going to have a huge culture shock.

Israeli kids love to swear in English. This is not considered a problem, even in a dati/torani school. If you say a not very nice word in Hebrew, you will get sent straight to the rav for detention. It's a very weird cultural thing. DD started swearing a LOT since we moved here, and nothing I could do would stop it because she heard it every day. Once she called a girl "tipeshah" (stupid) and she got detention for 3 hours!

I love living here, but DD hated every minute of it. She's recently moved back to the US to live with my ex, and is going to public school. She's now getting straight A's and B's.

amother

Powderblue

Thu, May 11 2017, 1:31 pm

Wow! I'm sorry your daughter had such a difficult Transition. We are hoping that knowing this is a 10-12 month adventure it will be a positive transition for all of us. My husband's parents are Israeli so he is quite fluent. I can get by.
I'm a little worried about my oldest but my husband assured me that if it really doesn't work out we can cut our adventure even shorter and come back mid year.
FF did the total immersion teach your daughter Hebrew? We are hoping that our kids can learn Hebrew while there.

FranticFrummie

Thu, May 11 2017, 2:03 pm

amother wrote:

Don't let me scare you off or discourage you from trying. Every kid is different!

DD needed the nuts and bolts of the language explained to her, and nobody was patient enough to teach her properly. Some kids will pick up the language by immersion with no problem, but DD has a different learning style.

DD taught herself Spanish when she was 5, so learning new languages is definitely not the problem. It was the way it was presented to her, combined with the culture shock, and a big dose of homesickness for the US.

Even if your kids don't catch on academically, my advice to you is to be super relaxed about school expectations, and focus on having fun and learning to love the land. The more you emphasize the good, the better time they will have here. IYH, if they don't want to stay this time, they will have good memories of Israel to draw them back in the future.

amother

White

Thu, May 11 2017, 2:14 pm

I'm so sorry that this was her experience. It's certainly not like this for everyone. I wish her lots of hatzlacha.

FranticFrummie wrote:

heidi

Thu, May 11 2017, 2:21 pm

Sorry to be a wet blanket, but I think this is a tremendous mistake. Kids are thrown into a different world-- language, culture, customs etc. 10 year olds are not mini adults that can smile bemusedly at the "cultural adventure". Four year olds need to be comfortable enough to ask where the bathroom is.
Children need security and a feeling of belonging. The first year of aliyah for everyone I know (maybe not for everyone in the world) is just plain awful. Nothing is familiar, kids feel lost and unsure and different. It is not a cultural experience, it is Hell.
But it's a necessary evil to getting to the place of knowing Hebrew, understanding the culture, figuring out which sports are cool and which are not, which foods are acceptable and which are looked at strangely.
In short, you have to get through the first year by the skin of your teeth to get to the next year.

amother

Cerulean

Thu, May 11 2017, 2:25 pm

Also, schools here have 30-40 kids per class in elementary school. Actually, also in gan. It is really hard to adapt to school here coming from the US. And if you are in a place with even one Anglo, your kid will stick to that kid and not speak any Hebrew. . . And good luck to you trying to understand the instructions for their homework - I found it impossible.

Anyway, in terms of schools, what school are your kids in now? That could help us point you in the right direction.

DrMom

Thu, May 11 2017, 2:27 pm

I think it depends strongly on (1) attitude, (2) family support -- your DH is Israeli, so that will help a lot, (3) community.

If you move someplace that has a fair percentage of English-speaking immigrants (not a bubble, but at least a few kids per grade), then the transition will be easier, IMO. Theschools will be better-equipped to deal with them too.

Also, they should start boning up on conversational Hebrew ASAP.

A 1-year abroad is tricky -- just as you start to feel at home, you leave -- but I know many families who moved for a year or two to different countries as part of job relocations, and they all were enriched by the experience.

amother

Pumpkin

Thu, May 11 2017, 3:25 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

FF I follow all your posts , avidly ,but you are very confusing to understand
You used to tell all kinds of nitemarish horror stories when Rivky was going to school in Seattle. Thats what motivated you to move to Israel in the first place
I emailed several times to try and disuade you from doing that based on my experiences

It seems you went from the frying pan into the 🔥
A few weeks ago Marina offered you a place and we all wanted to help you with transportation expenses. Yet you stubborn insist on staying
What is really going on

etky

Thu, May 11 2017, 3:31 pm

heidi wrote:

I agree. I came as a 9 year old for a year when my parents took a sabbatical.
Sure, it was enriching (especially in hindsight) but it was also wrenching. We actually had a wonderful year. So wonderful that we did not want to go back. It was the going back that was hell. Our lives in the States were never the same after that year. We felt like we were living a half-life compared to what we could be having in Israel. We left our hearts here.
Kids feel things very deeply. They might have tremendous adjustment difficulties at the beginning, or find it very difficult detaching at the end of the year and/or have re-entry issues when they return.
Over the years we have seen a number of families that came just for a year or just to 'check things out' and who have gone back. I don't think it was a decidedly positive experience for any of them - at least not in the short run....
Adults might be able to negotiate the emotional balancing act that coming 'just for a year' requires. Kids will have a much more difficult time.

FranticFrummie

Thu, May 11 2017, 8:43 pm

amother wrote:

I am not going to hijack OP's thread by defending myself. I am in therapy to sort out my feelings, and figure out what my next steps should be.

Thank you for your (anonymous) concern. Confused

Teomima

Fri, May 12 2017, 3:41 am

Well, I had a different experience from some of those that others are sharing. I think it has a LOT to do with communities. My family came for a six month sabbatical when I was 9 (and we ended up moving here permanently two years later). Perhaps it was because of where we were living/going to school (Jerusalem, mixed neighborhood, dati leumi school). While I was less happy when we fully moved here, the half year was a great experience. Israel was very different back then, too. In any case, I learned the language (verbally, not really reading) and though my Hebrew wasn't really good enough to keep up in school very well, I managed to eke by. But more importantly, my parents made the time about Israel. We traveled a lot, went on many adventures...sure, I was in school, but the trip was about more than that. But I do think choosing the right community, and the right school, is key.

As you said, you can always leave early.