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Would you say something or not?
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amother
Green


 

Post Thu, May 11 2017, 3:38 pm
100%. Wouldn't give it a second thought. The kids parents should know. Plus, why should I incur the repair costs?
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 11 2017, 3:46 pm
amother wrote:
Our windshield was just shattered on our block. The guy who fixed it said most likely by a ball thrown at it judging by how it looked. Of course, no one came forward. We asked around but all kids are denying. We paid the $200+ cost.

Out of curiosity, we asked our rabbi. he said that young children are not mechuyav to pay back ruined things and the parents are not responsible. however, a great rabbi (forget which) said it has become customary among the Jewish ppl for the parents to pay even though they are not halachically obligated to do so.


I have also heard similarly.

In this particular case, it's quite possible that the school would be obligated to pay, not the parents. After all, they were responsible for the child at the time the incident occurred. How could the parents be liable for something that happened at the time they were paying someone else to watch their child?

OTOH if this were my child, I probably would not want to harm my relationship with the school....I'd want to know about this.

I would say let both the parents AND the school know what happened.
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marina




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 11 2017, 4:04 pm
Lol... this happened to me but with a different ending.

Our car window looked like it had a bullet hole. Perfectly round and just the right size. We called the police, they took a report, etc.

The next day I found out that MY eight year old was throwing rocks at OUR car and did this. HAHAHAHAHA. We basically had a talk w her and made her work back the 200. Like 5$ for washing dishes, 10 for cleaning bathroom, etc.
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amother
Silver


 

Post Thu, May 11 2017, 7:40 pm
The fact that the school admin came to pick up your kids shows he is taking responsibility.
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amother
Forestgreen


 

Post Thu, May 11 2017, 9:57 pm
I understand you op. My son's friend was playing hockey with him using our good quality expensive hockey sticks. At some point he smacked the stick on the ground in frustration and the stick snapped in half. He mumbled an apology and quickly left. I never got an offer to replace it. He probably never even told his parents. I decided not to mention it because I know his parents are not well off. it wasn't worth making a to do over it. I was more disappointed with the lack of good manners in handling it. He was old enough to know better.
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cnc




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 11 2017, 10:02 pm
marina wrote:
Lol... this happened to me but with a different ending.

Our car window looked like it had a bullet hole. Perfectly round and just the right size. We called the police, they took a report, etc.

The next day I found out that MY eight year old was throwing rocks at OUR car and did this. HAHAHAHAHA. We basically had a talk w her and made her work back the 200. Like 5$ for washing dishes, 10 for cleaning bathroom, etc.


Idk why, but I cracked up at this post.
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amother
Emerald


 

Post Fri, May 12 2017, 12:24 pm
Thanks all.

B"H our insurance said they'll reimburse the cost. So if they do, I wouldn't want the school to ask the parents to pay.

Would you still have the school talk to the parents if there's no need for them to pay?
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amother
Emerald


 

Post Fri, May 12 2017, 12:27 pm
Chayalle wrote:
I have also heard similarly.

In this particular case, it's quite possible that the school would be obligated to pay, not the parents. After all, they were responsible for the child at the time the incident occurred. How could the parents be liable for something that happened at the time they were paying someone else to watch their child?

OTOH if this were my child, I probably would not want to harm my relationship with the school....I'd want to know about this.

I would say let both the parents AND the school know what happened.


This is likely the reason I feel uncomfortable putting the responsibility on the parents. If my kid was at school and did this, I would expect the school to take responsibility. Part of paying tuition is having them responsible for your children while they're at school.
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amother
Smokey


 

Post Fri, May 12 2017, 12:37 pm
amother wrote:
Thanks all.

B"H our insurance said they'll reimburse the cost. So if they do, I wouldn't want the school to ask the parents to pay.

Would you still have the school talk to the parents if there's no need for them to pay?


If the money to repair isn't an issue, and it's just a question of whether the parents should know that their kid was throwing rocks, I'd tell the school and leave the job of being mechanech this child or telling his parents, to them.
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amother
Mint


 

Post Fri, May 12 2017, 12:37 pm
as I parent I would absolutely want to know my kid did that. It's not about the money but about teaching my child to be a mensch. Maybe I 'm just the smug mother of tame girls Wink but for me throwing a rock at a car window falls in to the category of completely unacceptable. Playing baseball and the ball hitting the car falls in to the category of we all make mistakes, lets discuss how to not let it happen a gain. A rock at a window is not like that. I don't care who is supposed to be watching my kid, if my kid thinks that's acceptable than I would feel like as a parent I need to do some serious thinking about my chinuch but again I don't have any wild boys so it's like the child-free saying if I had children well then.... Wink
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Simple1




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, May 12 2017, 12:40 pm
amother wrote:
Thanks all.

B"H our insurance said they'll reimburse the cost. So if they do, I wouldn't want the school to ask the parents to pay.

Would you still have the school talk to the parents if there's no need for them to pay?


Im happy for you that an awkward situation was avoided and the cost will be covered. But it's good for the parents to know so that their kid can be disciplined and taught to be more careful.
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Chocoholic




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, May 12 2017, 12:51 pm
amother wrote:
Thanks all.

B"H our insurance said they'll reimburse the cost. So if they do, I wouldn't want the school to ask the parents to pay.

Would you still have the school talk to the parents if there's no need for them to pay?


What about the deductible?
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SixOfWands




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, May 12 2017, 1:01 pm
amother wrote:
Thanks all.

B"H our insurance said they'll reimburse the cost. So if they do, I wouldn't want the school to ask the parents to pay.

Would you still have the school talk to the parents if there's no need for them to pay?


Its not the money. Its that the parents should know that their child was engaged in inappropriate behavior, so that they can take appropriate disciplinary action. Wouldn't you want to know if your kid were throwing rocks at cars?

If they offer to pay, and you don't want the money, you can suggest that they donate to the school.
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perquacky




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, May 12 2017, 1:52 pm
Several years back, a friend of my son's friend threw rocks at our parked car and caused a few scratches and dents. It was an old car, and we didn't want to bother repairing it, but you can bet we let the boy's father know. And the dad was very grateful we did. The poor kid was going through a rough time (divorce, parents remarrying--I forget exactly which) and knowing what his son helped the dad understand a little better just how much his son was hurting.
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debsey




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, May 12 2017, 3:48 pm
amother wrote:
100%. Wouldn't give it a second thought. The kids parents should know. Plus, why should I incur the repair costs?


Me too! If I was the mom, I'd want to know. And I'd insist on paying. It's my kid who did the damage, after all. It would be different if they were playing a school-sanctioned game like basketball and the ball went out of bounds and shattered my window. Then, I'd take it up with the school. But if my kid were a budding juvenile delinquent, you bet I'd want to know, so I could address it.
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yksraya




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, May 12 2017, 4:24 pm
amother wrote:
This is likely the reason I feel uncomfortable putting the responsibility on the parents. If my kid was at school and did this, I would expect the school to take responsibility. Part of paying tuition is having them responsible for your children while they're at school.

Kids need to be taught to respect others/others property and to not do harm to others. A stone could've hurt someone badly. Bh atleast it was only a car.
Yes the school needs to supervise kids and take responsibility too. As in calling the parents, a talking to/consequence for the kid who threw the rock, etc. But the parents carry the brunt of the responsibility.

It takes just a few seconds to pick a stone up and throw. So even if someone supervises, this still can happen, and the school could'nt have prevented it. So your excuse that you pay tution, is no excuse at all. You are not exempt of being mechanech your kid, and paying any damage he's done.
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amother
Mint


 

Post Fri, May 12 2017, 4:58 pm
my dh said that if the rock is larger then a certain size than halachically the child is considered a "danger" and it's a whole 'nother category.
op- you wouldn't want to know if your child was throwing rocks at cars?
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amother
Honeydew


 

Post Fri, May 12 2017, 5:16 pm
amother wrote:
Thanks all.

B"H our insurance said they'll reimburse the cost. So if they do, I wouldn't want the school to ask the parents to pay.

Would you still have the school talk to the parents if there's no need for them to pay?


I don't see how you can go thru insurance. Almost every plan has a deductible. This is probably a few hundred dollar job to repair- not an amount that would exceed a deductible. In the event that you are one of the few people who don't have a deductible, most people agree that it's not worth it to report a claim of only a few hundred when it will be on your insurance record and impact your premiums. It's best to pay out of pocket for a small job like this. There is something missing in this story.
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amother
Bronze


 

Post Fri, May 12 2017, 5:18 pm
My ds had brand new glasses. They were "unbreakable". An above bar mitzvah boy, on shabbos in shul, took it and cracked it. The boy left shul and my dh decided not to say anything. The glasses store gave me a great deal on another pair.

Had my son done this I would have wanted him to know. I am sure the boy learned his lesson regardless.He isnt a wild kid.
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marina




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, May 12 2017, 7:51 pm
amother wrote:
Thanks all.

B"H our insurance said they'll reimburse the cost. So if they do, I wouldn't want the school to ask the parents to pay.

Would you still have the school talk to the parents if there's no need for them to pay?


What about your payments going up as a result of the claim?
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