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Forum
-> Interesting Discussions
amother
Floralwhite
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Sun, May 14 2017, 4:29 am
I was just wondering if you and dh encourage and strengthen each other's Emunah when you go through things in life.
I'm divorced and often feel alone when I want to air a thought or chew over things while seeing things in the right perspective.
I was in this alone even before my divorce so I was just wondering if it's normal to work through Emunah issues alone.
What s it like by You?
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PinkFridge
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Sun, May 14 2017, 5:33 am
I think we do. But don't overromanticize this. Sometimes someone might be at a certain point and the other one isn't there yet and is so NOT receptive to chizuk, and the best thing is to give him/her space and let him/her get there on his/her own. Do you know what I mean?
Here's a question that you don't have to answer for us, but for yourself: who's your bartender? Is there anyone you can dump on, go to for chizuk when you need it? Is there anyone you like to listen to? I've been able to go to regular shiurim over the last few years, and listen to some other people occasionally and it's kind of been a game changer for me. Or maybe it just cemented what's been there all along.
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amother
Taupe
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Sun, May 14 2017, 6:55 am
I am learning living emunah with a friend. I grew a lot from it.
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FranticFrummie
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Sun, May 14 2017, 8:16 am
DH has NO emunah. He has Asperger's, and lives in a world of anxiety, fear, and a need to control everything in his environment. He can't conceptualize emunah, it's not part of how his brain is wired. (Don't get me wrong, he's brilliant in Halachah, and learns every day.)
On the other hand, I am a deeply spiritual person, and learning Breslov feeds my soul. I get so much joy and comfort from emunah, and it pains me that I can't share it with him. Every time I try, he changes the subject or picks up his iPad to ignore me.
It's very lonely to share a house with someone who does not have a personal connection to Hashem (or his wife). It's one of the many reasons why I want to get a divorce.
I suggest you find a study partner, form a women's group, or look up a Certified Emunah Coach in your area. Rabbi Lazar Brody is the head of the Emunah Coach project, and he can help direct you.
My long term goal is to become certified, and help spread emunah to others. I can't think of a better job to have!
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amother
Fuchsia
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Sun, May 14 2017, 10:08 am
In a way, it's easier to discuss these things with someone whose life is not totally bound up with yours. If someone tells her husband that she feels empty, for example, he's going to get defensive before getting helpful.
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amother
Beige
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Sun, May 14 2017, 11:20 am
No. Just the opposite I think. He's a good man who davens every day and made the choice to become Orthodox after growing up in a Conservative home but he doesn't strike me as a great man of faith.
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amother
Royalblue
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Sun, May 14 2017, 12:02 pm
amother wrote: | No. Just the opposite I think. He's a good man who davens every day and made the choice to become Orthodox after growing up in a Conservative home but he doesn't strike me as a great man of faith. |
In my opinion a person who davens everyday and keeps halacha is a person of faith. There are some people who can show externally their emunah and others it is internal and private. It is a personality thing. I am very internal in my faith but I have emunah but generally feel awkward discussing it except with my kids as I want to teach them.
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amother
Floralwhite
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Sun, May 14 2017, 12:11 pm
I feel that I'm trying to live a life of Emunah, meaning that all things which happen I try and see it from Hashem, not just in a way of lip service but properly believing in it. I'm not perfect at it but come a long way. And talking it over helps to make me stronger. I get so nispoel from it often and feel I want to share it. But when it's talking to just friends or so I don't want want to sound as if I'm boasting. But this is truly how I love my life.
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PinkFridge
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Sun, May 14 2017, 1:57 pm
amother wrote: | I feel that I'm trying to live a life of Emunah, meaning that all things which happen I try and see it from Hashem, not just in a way of lip service but properly believing in it. I'm not perfect at it but come a long way. And talking it over helps to make me stronger. I get so nispoel from it often and feel I want to share it. But when it's talking to just friends or so I don't want want to sound as if I'm boasting. But this is truly how I love my life. |
Wow. This is very bracing. Do you have any friends you can be more unplugged with?
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amother
Floralwhite
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Sun, May 14 2017, 2:57 pm
PinkFridge wrote: | Wow. This is very bracing. Do you have any friends you can be more unplugged with? |
Sorry don't understand what you mean. English isn't my 1st language.. ...
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PinkFridge
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Sun, May 14 2017, 4:48 pm
amother wrote: | Sorry don't understand what you mean. English isn't my 1st language.. ... |
I meant it well.
Bracing means "fresh or invigorating." In other words, I found your perspective refreshing and invigorating.
Unplugged means disconnected. People use it to mean, no recording device plugged in, no one can hear you and repeat and report your words, you can just be yourself. You don't have to second guess what people might think, you feel secure with your audience.
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enneamom
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Sun, May 14 2017, 5:54 pm
OP, this may be random, but can I recommend a phenomenal book? It's the book about Henny Machlis: Emunah With Love and Chicken Soup. I feel like it's a mussar/hashkafah sefer in the form of a biography. It's also fascinating and, at times, hilarious.
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