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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
mddm
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Thu, May 18 2017, 9:03 pm
seeker wrote: | What's a frum development pool?
When I go swimming with a group of frum women and girls (we band together to rent out a pool for women only once in a while) everyone tries to change as discreetly as possible. Of course things are going to show here and there but nobody's parading around with nothing or little on. |
Thank you for the support! There is a development of only frum people that has a swimming pool in the development…
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cozyblanket
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Thu, May 18 2017, 9:03 pm
vicki wrote: | As a matter of fact it is considered ill-mannered to change in the shower rooms or bathrooms. However, more than 50% - probably more than 80% - of the women I see do change in the private shower rooms or bathrooms.
There are occasional arguments from the women waiting to shower or use the bathrooms for their intended purpose. |
I am with OP. I know it is common and done, but I just don't get it. As frum women, we don't just do things the way the rest of the world does. I go to a pool with separate hours for men and women, but the locker room has anyone in it, not just frum people. I always wonder why women strip in front of others. I always use a bathroom stall. I was never told it was ill-mannered, nor did it ever occur to me. But the place I go to isn't packed so there is never a line. There are always many empty stalls. Regardless, I would change in privacy. It is odd that being modest is considered ill-mannered; but it if is, there is nothing I can do about it. I also get dressed in the shower stall after I am done showering. There is an area in the stall just for that. I think they expect people to change there.
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mddm
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Thu, May 18 2017, 9:26 pm
tichellady wrote: | Nudity is normal in locker rooms. |
Would you bring your teenage daughter to such an environment?
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cozyblanket
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Thu, May 18 2017, 9:33 pm
mddm wrote: | Would you bring your teenage daughter to such an environment? |
Exactly!
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shyshira
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Thu, May 18 2017, 9:37 pm
mddm wrote: | Would you bring your teenage daughter to such an environment? |
I think a teenager knows that women have bodies under their clothes.
What is the harm? That she might learn that someday her boobs might sag?
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mddm
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Thu, May 18 2017, 9:41 pm
shyshira wrote: | I think a teenager knows that women have bodies under their clothes.
What is the harm? That she might learn that someday her boobs might sag? |
I don't agree, but would you let your daughter change with you... going with the same logic?
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shyshira
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Thu, May 18 2017, 9:46 pm
mddm wrote: | I don't agree, but would you let your daughter change with you... going with the same logic? |
I would probably turn my back to my daughter. Naked strangers is different than naked ima.
I see it's bothering you. I hope you find a 'work around' that's sutible so that you can enjoy the pool.
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yksraya
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Thu, May 18 2017, 9:50 pm
shyshira wrote: | I would probably turn my back to my daughter. Naked strangers is different than naked ima.
I see it's bothering you. I hope you find a 'work around' that's sutible so that you can enjoy the pool. |
Just curious: would your DD also turn her back to you?
Sorry, couldn't help it.
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shyshira
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Thu, May 18 2017, 9:57 pm
yksraya wrote: | Just curious: would your DD also turn her back to you?
Sorry, couldn't help it. |
Probably. Not sure why that's funny. We're not likely getting dressed in unison, and we might be sharing a gym bag that's situated between us on a bench.
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tichellady
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Thu, May 18 2017, 9:58 pm
Op, you are entitled to feel how you feel. I wasn't saying you are wrong for feeling uncomfortable, I was just saying that locker rooms are a place where it's expected for people to undress publicly.
I'm laughing at the question of whether I would bring my teenage daughter there. Yes, this wouldn't bother me. I grew up in a house with very little privacy so I have a different sense of these things than other people. Personally, I try to be discreet when changing in public and not to stare at others. I think it's a good thing to teach a teen who will at some point probably encounter this in her adult life.
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mddm
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Thu, May 18 2017, 10:05 pm
tichellady wrote: | I'm laughing at the question of whether I would bring my teenage daughter there. Yes, this wouldn't bother me. I grew up in a house with very little privacy so I have a different sense of these things than other people.. |
I understand, so much of this is what we are used to. Do you care to elaborate as to what you mean "you grew up with very little privacy"?
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mddm
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Thu, May 18 2017, 10:22 pm
shyshira wrote: | Naked strangers is different than naked ima.. |
Is that the general rule that people follow... no naked ima?
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shyshira
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Thu, May 18 2017, 10:38 pm
mddm wrote: | Is that the general rule that people follow... no naked ima? |
There isn't a general rule.
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MagentaYenta
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Thu, May 18 2017, 10:40 pm
mddm wrote: | Is that the general rule that people follow... no naked ima? |
Mileage will always vary.
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mddm
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Thu, May 18 2017, 10:41 pm
MagentaYenta wrote: | Mileage will always vary. |
??
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MagentaYenta
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Thu, May 18 2017, 10:46 pm
People are individuals. There are no hard and fast rules. Some women are not impacted by the normalcy of naked bodies of women in locker rooms. Others are.
I went to public school and public university and played sports. I'm not the least bit distressed by woman changing clothes in a locker room. Nor am I bothered by the various states of undress in a locker room. Other women are.
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ttbtbm
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Thu, May 18 2017, 10:52 pm
[quote="tichellady]. I think it's a good thing to teach a teen who will at some point probably encounter this in her adult life.[/quote]
Agree. Especially because teens today don't get this exposure from Loheman's dressing rooms!
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STMommy
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Thu, May 18 2017, 10:52 pm
Dunno. I found the Loehmanns dressing room pretty icky growing up!
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STMommy
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Thu, May 18 2017, 10:53 pm
OMG ttbtbm we had the same thought at the same time - hilarious.
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ttbtbm
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Thu, May 18 2017, 10:56 pm
STMommy wrote: | OMG ttbtbm we had the same thought at the same time - hilarious. |
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