Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Household Management -> Finances
When money is tight



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother
Babyblue


 

Post Thu, May 25 2017, 8:35 am
If a few siblings are chipping in for a gift for the parents 50th anniversary and money is tight for one sibling, is it fair for that sibling to insist on a cheaper gift so they can pay their fair share. The other siblings are willing to pay for the entire gift and have it come from all siblings. Assuming many families run into this issue, what is done?
Back to top

doctorima




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 25 2017, 9:07 am
If the other siblings have the means and want to get a nicer gift and aren't pressuring the less well-off sibling to pay his/her fair share and willing to cover the difference, it doesn't seem right for that sibling to turn around and pressure them to get something cheaper than they want and are prepared to pay for.
Back to top

amother
Tan


 

Post Thu, May 25 2017, 10:52 am
By us, everyone contributes what they are able to and a gift is bought with the total. Only the person collecting really knows how much everyone gave. Sometimes, an amount is suggested but usually it's a range broad enough to cover different financial capabilities.

Why can't the sibling with the tight finances just contribute a token amount, however much they feel comfortable giving? Or everyone is given a range of how much to contribute?
Back to top

Amarante




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 25 2017, 11:09 am
It's not fair to force the others to buy a cheaper gift especially since they are generously offering to pay for whatever is needed and do it on an anonymous basis.

From each according to their abilities, To each according to their needs -surely this is true for most functional families.

For my mother's 65th birthday my brother and I wanted to get her something special. I was delegated to get the gift because I obviously am a better shopper than my brother. I got her a Judith Leiber wallet which was pricey. I didn't even ask him to chip in a minimal amount. I had a well paying job and he worked with the homeless schizophrenics for a lesser salary. The wallet was presented as a gift from both of us.
Back to top

zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 25 2017, 11:13 am
What they all said.
I understand that the sib who is strapped would be happier if they were all paying an equal share so she doesn't feel like a nebach case, but don't let your own pride get in the way of your parents getting a nicer gift.
Back to top

amother
Magenta


 

Post Thu, May 25 2017, 11:23 am
We do have this issue in our family.
Its a lot of siblings.
Some families are really struggling
And some dont even know what it means to struggle so can't relate.
We've pretty much done away with group gifts for this reason.

If we make a niece sheva brachos there is no group wedding gift. If someone wants sheva brachos is the gift if others want they can get something. Not everyone in the family likes it.

For vorts we started doing an optional group gift. We set up an account in a store and everyone calls in and contributes what they want and there is a card from everyone who wanted to contribute.

One sibling says you will get it back for your kids one day - but I don't want it back from siblings that can't afford it.
Back to top

tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 25 2017, 12:31 pm
My brothers in law are much younger and don't work so when we buy a group gift for my in laws we usually just pay for it ourselves. I think the fact that we all get along and can work this out is probably the best gift parents can have.
Back to top
Page 1 of 1 Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Household Management -> Finances

Related Topics Replies Last Post
How do people make money?
by amother
11 Yesterday at 9:35 pm View last post
Have never been so tight financially in my life
by amother
25 Wed, Mar 20 2024, 1:17 pm View last post
Ideas to save money when making a simcha
by amother
6 Sun, Mar 17 2024, 4:17 pm View last post
[ Poll ] Giving playgroup morah money WITH mm
by amother
6 Fri, Mar 08 2024, 2:19 pm View last post
Is it ungrateful to ask H-shem for money if He's given me so
by amother
34 Thu, Mar 07 2024, 1:44 pm View last post