2 kids under 1.5...ALL TIPS NEEDED!!!

amother

Jetblack

Mon, May 29 2017, 12:31 am

IYH I am having my second soon and I am freaking out.

Is it possible for one person to take care of 2 children under 1.5 without being super tired all day long? I just don't know how it's possible.

My "big" baby runs around all day, inside and outside... How do I take care of a baby while taking care of him? I just don't see how it's going to work... and yet I know it's quite common and I'm definitely not the first person to deal with this situation.

Please help!

salt

Mon, May 29 2017, 1:02 am

Is it a must that you'll be one person? Can you get help or is that out of the question? That would be ideal. Either someone to come in and take out your toddler for a bit, or to do your light housework, or take care of both your kids while you rest. Is DH around?
If you can get both kids to sleep together, that also helps.

nameless

Mon, May 29 2017, 2:00 am

It really depends on the baby. If they're a really good and easy baby then you'll be fine! I had 2 under 1.5 (16 months apart) and the baby was colicky and it was really difficult. My older one was out in the mornings but someone came by to help me almost every day in the afternoon. I don't know what I would have done without her.
Also, I'm a really big believer that if you get 3 proper meals a day it also makes a world of a difference. Make sure someone can do that for you, because there is no way you'll have time or hands to prepare it yourself.

amother

Turquoise

Mon, May 29 2017, 5:22 am

Ruchel wrote:

I have Irish twins bh, and I used the park for the bigger one when I had to nurse or change etc.

You didn't feel tied to the bench? Like what if toddler needed you mid-nurse? At home you can put the baby somewhere or flash some skin. Not so in public...

I wanted to do this but was always worried I'd have to catch dd if she ran in the street or something. The lack of confinement always stopped me from going to the park when baby needed to nurse, though it would have perfectly entertained the toddler.

Yael3

Mon, May 29 2017, 7:12 am

I have a 4 year old, two 1.5 year olds, and I'm due IY"H in August. The 4 year old is at Gan from 9-4. The 1.5 year olds will be starting Gan in September a little after the baby arrives. I strongly recommend a Gan, daycare, SOMETHING. That said, it's not impossible to do it alone. You will seriously have to readjust your expectations about other things you may be used to getting done, and you'll need to look into self-care activities for YOU to look forward to for when you take a break. How much is your DH able to help? Can he take over in the afternoon/evening? Can he give the kids baths and put them to sleep?

amother

Linen

Mon, May 29 2017, 9:22 am

bisha tova !
I had my first 2 daughters- 16 months apart, and would have not survived without a lot of cleaning help and sending out my big one from 9-1230 everyday...

are you home with big one? do you have a babysitter?
I would suggest sending out the big one, or having a babysitter come just for a few hours in the morning...
the good news is that the summer is around the corner, and taking walks and being outside is great for both babies
(I had my 2nd in the winter and it was so depressing and hard- stuck inside all day!)

something I wish someone would have told me... dont make yourself crazy about nursing, if for one feeding you need to be outside, or big sibling needs you, please let yourself give a bottle. you have to think about the peace of your entire family unit.
I made that mistake with my 2nd, and I think I suffered and my big one.

best of luck!

amother

Tan

Mon, May 29 2017, 9:54 am

I'm reading this post nervously because I'm bzh also due in December, DD1 will be less than 1.5yo ...

I also started to work from home but reading you it seems that it'll be impossible to work - I don't have cleaning help and won't be able to have a full-time babysit for DD1... Quite stressful... Sad

(I don't want to hijack your thread but I'm sending you lots of good wishes for hatzlocha and beshaa tova!)

amother

Brown

Mon, May 29 2017, 10:20 am

I had my 2nd when my oldest was 18 mths and then another one 15 mths later. Some tricks I learned.
1) create a very child friendly and safe space that you can nurse in. gated or locked so toddler could safely run around, play, make a mess, etc while you could nurse.
2) try to find a babysitter or even young teen to take toddler out even for 1 hr
3) try to nap both at once and YOU SLEEP. Tell your husband that for the first 8 Weeks hes responsible for all cleanup and dishes
4) dont be married to any one.feeding method to see what works for you. Nursing, formula, pumping, combination. Baby needs healthy sane mothet and to be fed more than he needs exclusive breastmilk.
5) take as many shortcuts and help as you can afford.

amother

Cerulean

Mon, May 29 2017, 11:13 am

I agree with brown amother. I had my second when my daughter was just 13.5 months old. Everyone was warning me how hard it was going to be ect... I had planned certain things like how I will get them out the door in the most efficient way (we were living in a basement, with a staircase inside so I planned that I'd first bring the baby in carseat, leave him at top of stairs, then I would help my daughter up the steps and bh she was walking, so when we got the to the top she'd walk to the car along side me who was holding the infant seat... ) I know this solution may not apply to your situation, but my point is I had plans for how things would work well for me. I signed up for the gyn and used the babysitting there while I ahd a workout teo times a week. When the baby was a few months old I got a really short job(1.5 hrs) and that broke up my day sending them to babysitting 2 hrs. it was later afternoon so it was after their nap when I got to rest... Ect all these things contributed to me being ok. But that was the first time I realized I needed to to on birth control, so this wouldn't be a continuous pattern for how close all my future kids would be spaced. It was hard to accept that fact, and had to get over the whole guilt with birth control. And guess what even with birth control my kids are quite close. 21 months between my second and third, and between third and fourth. This time I am taking a bit of a longer break, but prob just 6 months more. Anyways, I know that this was long winded, but I hope it helped.

amother

Jetblack

Mon, May 29 2017, 12:35 pm

Wow... So it seems most people think it's nearly impossible to do it alone... That Makes me feel better.

Right now my big one does take one nap a day, but I'm so worried that the little one will nap before and after his nap and not coordinate..

Dh can't help that much - he's so busy with work. He can help on shabbos but that's it.

morningsickness

Mon, May 29 2017, 1:28 pm

I had my kiddies 14 months apart while I was a full time collage student! and I'm def. not one of those super-organized moms either.
Here's what helped: Schedules!!
As soon as baby was old enough, taught him how to feed on a schedule, I.e. every 3 hrs. That way I could schedule quiet time for nursing. While I nursed, toddler played on floor next to me or we read books together. While baby was still fairly little, I would just place him on a play mat next to toddler and do errands around them. Toddler found baby a great audience, and he was content to just watch her most times. I folded laundry on the couch besides them, or cut veggies, did homewrok, chiiled on the couch next to them.
I had a sem girl come help me at my toughest hour- bedtime, so that I could eat a normal dinner. She helped me bathe the toddler and then occupied toddler while I bathed and put baby to bed. I moved baby to toddler's bedroom pretty early on (6 motnhs) and put both of them to sleep at the same time. That helped creat a predictable bedtime schedule for both of them that serves me well until today! Meantime, while I was putting kiddies to sleep, sem girl would quickly prep dinner (simple, nothing fancy) and if she had time, she'd sweep up or do some dishes.
Nights I had to myself...
my house was never spotless but there was always clean laundry..

amother

Cerise

Mon, May 29 2017, 1:34 pm

morningsickness wrote:

The sem girl came every night for free? Wow, lucky.

pmom

Mon, May 29 2017, 1:57 pm

I have 2 boys 14.5 months apart and I work over 6 hours per day. my baby is now almost 4 months. it gets easier by the day. just take it one day at a time. learn that it's ok to prop a bottle (if you don't exclusively breastfeed) and only do your housework when the toddler is sleeping. now that the summer is here (almost- waiting desperately for the warm days) sit outside with your baby in the carriage and let your toddler play with the bikes, toys...
I'm proud to say that I'm learning how to cope, my house is tidy I have clean laundry (- though it might take 2 days one to wash and one to fold...) I have breakfast lunchboxes and dinner prepared... and I even learnt to bathe both kids at once! toddler loves that!!!!

Good Luck and Mazel Tov!

amother

Jetblack

Mon, May 29 2017, 2:17 pm

morningsickness wrote:

Wow... how did you get them to sleep together so early on? I need details! Did your baby sleep through the night? If baby woke, how did it not wake the toddler? Also...did you have 2 cribs? Or did you put your toddler into a big bed at 20 months? Did you do any sleep training?

I am very interested in having them sleep in the same room!