Help me be dan l'chav zechus

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Forum -> Household Management -> Finances

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zaq

Mon, May 29 2017, 5:49 pm

Yes, some people have zero financial management skills and just buy whatever they see in front of their noses No idea of planning, comparing prices, or choosing a less costly alternative. To those who grew up comparison shopping , waiting for sales and buying only necessities, it's impossible to understand how someone could not know that even small monetary leaks can sink a financial ship.

amother

Powderblue

Mon, May 29 2017, 5:50 pm

Umm water really? Man can not live without water!

crust

Mon, May 29 2017, 5:52 pm

Thier tap water was shut off because they didnt pay thier dues to the municipality.

amother

Powderblue

Mon, May 29 2017, 6:12 pm

crust wrote:

Thier tap water was shut off because they didnt pay thier dues to the municipality.

How about they dislike drinking tap water!

crust

Mon, May 29 2017, 6:28 pm

amother wrote:

How about they dislike drinking tap water!

This was suggested already.
I was trying to help OP as the purpose of this thread was to help her find more ways to be dan lkaf zchus.

Reb Moshe Green from Yeshiva dMonsey sais;
Krim zulsti trachten in dan zyn lkaf zchus zulsti!!
Think crooket but be dan lkaf zchus!!

amother

Powderblue

Mon, May 29 2017, 6:32 pm

crust wrote:

Honestly I dont see what's there too be dan lkaf zuchus! All they did was buy water! I'm not getting it.

crust

Mon, May 29 2017, 6:36 pm

amother wrote:

Honestly I dont see what's there too be dan lkaf zuchus! All they did was buy water! I'm not getting it.

So let's be dan lkaf zchus the Op.
She really needs the money right now, doesnt want to be stubborn about collecting it and she herself doesn't buy bottled water for her own family.

LittleDucky

Mon, May 29 2017, 7:36 pm

[quote="amother"]

LittleDucky wrote:

OP, it is so hard to be DLZ when someone owes you and others so much money and they seem to waste it. I assume you would rather the $5 a month as it is better than nothing...Good for you to try!!

I had to comment on this poster though. Bottled water is a luxury, especially for someone renting where water is FREE to the renter...
And it is not just about the same amount as tap- it is a lot more when you add it up and when someone is in debt they need to be careful with every dollar as after 120 they will need to account for owing lots of debts. (Obviously if there was no choice to pay it back it would be different but that is up to Hashem to figure out...). Yes they need to live but luxuries and spending more than they make is likely what got them into debt in the first place.
Don't like the water? A Brita filter is cheaper than constantly buying water. Filters last a long time and can cost about $5 each for a few month's water.

If they got it from FS then they should use that credit for real food as if they owe that much money they likely aren't eating too healthily either...[/quote

You don't have to agree with me but you really don't know people's situation. I would hardly drink if not for bottled water. I need a lot of water to get through a day (much much more than the average person) and I drink full bottles at a time. It just wouldn't happen if I had to fill up one cup at a time. Second of all, water is not free in all rentals! In Lakewood most rentals pay their own utilities.

It's very difficult to be on both sides but we definitely shouldn't judge.

They make Brita (or another brand) water bottle filters. They make giant several gallon filter pitchers that you can pour into a reusable water bottle easily (it has a spout).
When you are in debt you need to find every way to climb out. It isn't your money you are "using for your sanity". Would you borrow money to buy it? If they owe that much then they are technically using another's money for it.

DVOM

Mon, May 29 2017, 8:02 pm

We are on a very tight budget and live very frugally. My boys take water bottles to school because they're not always allowed to visit the water fountain, but are allowed to drink water at their desk if they have a water bottle. They know that they have to bring them home each day to be refilled. Usually, one 12 pack of water bottles lasts us about 8 weeks. We buy one bottle of soda or Snapple each Shabbos when we can afford it, otherwise, at home we drink tap water. Thankfully we have no debt, so I don't know how I'd operate with the knowledge that every splurge of mine comes at the expense of the person I owe money to, but I think even the most careful spenders sometimes have a moment of weakness and buy something frivolous and stupid. I certainly do. Maybe your old renter has been meticulously saving to pay you back...and lost her head over some water bottles.

amother

Azure

Mon, May 29 2017, 11:18 pm

Perhaps someone offered to pay their Costco bill and pay for certain items such as water at Costco, but the person won't pay for their rent.

Sometimes people offer to pay for specific items .

amother

Burlywood

Tue, May 30 2017, 1:09 am

I feel sorry for the OP who is owed the money. My comment is not about this particular situation but very apropos to mention here.

I heard this was said by one of our Gedolim (but I cannot remember which one).

Who said you have to be dan l'kaf zechus? IF YOU HAVE TO DAN, then be dan L'kaf Zechus.
It is not our place to judge people.

amother

Mustard

Tue, May 30 2017, 1:16 am

amother wrote:

Honestly I dont see what's there too be dan lkaf zuchus! All they did was buy water! I'm not getting it.

Water bottles cost money. Water from the tap is a lot cheaper, if not free. These people are spending money on something that is available for less.

There's no good reason to buy water. If anything, it's better to drink tap water in the US, because it has fluoride added, and bottled water doesn't.

I always got a kick out of parents who brought bottled water to camp for their kids. The camp gets fresh spring water - exactly what you're paying for.

MagentaYenta

Tue, May 30 2017, 1:26 am

amother wrote:

And the water bottles wind up in landfills. Some states are now charging deposits on water bottles in hopes of keeping them out of landfills and recycling them.

amother

Powderblue

Tue, May 30 2017, 9:26 am

amother wrote:

Personally I can not for the life of my swallow tap water! In my eyes there made to wash dishies, wash floors ect. But not to drink.

zaq

Tue, May 30 2017, 9:56 am

amother wrote:

Your points are good, but for the bolded. There are a few places in the US where the water is undrinkable because of the very high mineral content (often sulfur) that makes it smell and taste putrid. And in some places, where people depend on well water, the status of that water may be suspect if there was a recent deluge or chemical spill or fracking operation anywhere in the vicinity.

juggling

Tue, May 30 2017, 10:01 am

I don't know, here in Israel you need to carry around water bottles. Kids get thirsty during the day! You can refill the bottles as long as they last, but you need a bottle to start with. I guess you could buy reusable ones, but they are more expensive to start with, and more expensive to replace when they get lost.

SixOfWands

Tue, May 30 2017, 10:08 am

amother wrote:

Personally I can not for the life of my swallow tap water! In my eyes there made to wash dishies, wash floors ect. But not to drink.

About 45% of bottled water in the US (including Aquafina and Dasani) comes from municipal water supplies. Yup. They turn on the tap, treat the water, then bottle it.

Buy a Brita or other filter if you don't like the taste of your tap water.

For the woman whose kids take water to school, but some Contigo, Camelback or other reusable bottles.

OP, sorry to hear that someone owes you so much money. Hope you get it soon.

amother

Apricot

Tue, May 30 2017, 10:13 am

Maybe she had food stamps and is trying to use them up so not to lose them.

(My SIL offers to go shopping for me when she goes to Costco. Sometimes I wonder if it is to use up her food stamps at the end of the month)

Maybe she is just picking up for family members - as I said my SIL will often make purchases for me at Costco.

Simple1

Tue, May 30 2017, 10:18 am

SixOfWands wrote:

For the woman whose kids take water to school, but some Contigo, Camelback or other reusable bottles.

It's a good idea but not perfect for everyone. Reusable bottles are not cheap and some kids are prone to losing them.

amother

Lawngreen

Tue, May 30 2017, 10:31 am

I purchase large quantities of stuff for shul (soda, snack food...) that I would rarely use at home and certainly not in such huge quantities. I sometimes wonder what people think when they see my cart at the grocery store! So, who knows why they were buying bottled water. It may have been for an innocent reason, and paid for by someone else.

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