Wondering what helped your very difficult child change

amother

Purple

Wed, Jun 07 2017, 11:24 pm

I have a hyperactive kid, she can some times be really difficult. I did sacrial cranial therapy and it worked like magic. Turns out her hyperactivity had alot to do with stomach reflux that neither she nor me knew about before she was helped- she was so used to it she didn't even know she had it. The second her therapist had her hand on my daughter she relaxed and fell asleep.
Sometimes if your child is difficult it could stem from something physical- not always emotional or mental. It could be sleep apnea, stomach reflux, lactose/gluten intolerance,...

amother

Burgundy

Thu, Jun 08 2017, 4:35 am

Thank you everyone for your thoughtful helpful responses. I had written a long post, but mistakenly deleted it before posting.

I have 2 adult siblings on very strong medication, and I am very sad about it. For one especially, I think it's giving him a very low quality life. By nature I tend to be antimeds, but I also don't see how it will help my d.
Floor time helped her the most, but she still is very hard. I see from my parenting sessions that me staying calm, and not taking things personally, has helped the most.
But she really does trigger me. She can ruin many Shabbos meals. She can be very wild and aggressive. She does what she wants, doesn't listen, is mean to classmates and siblings, needs a ton of attention, and it's never enough.....
But medication?
I know that she needs me to love her when she is the least loveable.
Thank you for all your thoughts.

amother

Mistyrose

Thu, Jun 08 2017, 4:56 pm

amother wrote:

What if when you gave her medication (together with therapy, obviously), she wouldn't ruin shabbos meals, she wouldn't be so wild, she wouldn't be so aggressive, she would listen to you better, she would be less mean to friends and siblings, and she wouldn't be so attention seeking?

What if you gave her medication (together with therapy) and it released her from the whirlwind of lack of control, aggression, and feelings she can't handle?

What if you gave her medication (together with therapy), and she was able to let her true self shine through because it allowed her issues to fall by the wayside?

I know you feel like your siblings on strong medication have a low quality of life (and I'm so sorry to hear that, I know it must be rough), but many people on strong medication, even with a low quality of life, would have an even worse quality of life without medication (and I speak from personal experience as well). If someone had cancer, would you not give them chemotherapy just because the chemo will ruin their quality of life? You want to give everyone the best chance they can have at the best life they can have and to be their best self. That's what medication can do for many people who couldn't do it otherwise.

Obviously, medication doesn't help all people for all problems, and therapy is needed together with medication to develop the coping mechanisms to deal with things, but medication is an avenue worth exploring with a professional to see if it's appropriate for your daughter. If you're daughter could be really helped by medication, it's a shame to let her, you, and your family suffer through her not taking medication.