Stupid questions and nasty comments (and hugs)

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amother

Wine

Thu, Jun 15 2017, 4:28 am

Really the subject says it all. Aren't we all adults here?

I will say that I've learned a lot from the immature attitude of some posters in that I think much more before speaking or posting to make sure that what I say is not coming across like that.

amother

Honeydew

Thu, Jun 15 2017, 5:05 am

True

Zehava

Thu, Jun 15 2017, 5:42 am

Since when are adults immune to stupidity or immaturity or dysfunction?
I find children alot more straightforward and easy to communicate with.

amother

Wine

Thu, Jun 15 2017, 6:12 am

Zehava wrote:

Since when are adults immune to stupidity or immaturity or dysfunction?
I find children alot more straightforward and easy to communicate with.

I know. Was thinking that when I wrote it... Confused

amother

Coffee

Thu, Jun 15 2017, 8:48 am

I often feel that the preview button should be mandatory...

LittleDucky

Thu, Jun 15 2017, 11:38 am

Most comments aren't that stupid when you think about the varied viewpoints on Imamother. Not just minhagim, ages, locations, number of children and other things you can quantify. But also life experience, professional education, culture...

What seems like a dumb comment can actually be quite perceptive. Or at least when seen from someone else's view.

amother

Wine

Thu, Jun 15 2017, 11:40 am

This was a spinoff of another thread - where a poster called questions stupid...

MagentaYenta

Thu, Jun 15 2017, 11:44 am

LittleDucky wrote:

I do see many questions here that could be solved with a simple google.

As to the survey questions, 'How many times do you do it?' etc, I think women are attempting to gain perspective as to how and where they fit in with the greater community at large. But I also feel that these questions are simplistic and in many respects a sign of immaturity and lack of confidence.

I don't use hugs unless it is a matter of extending compassion to a poster, I never will like a post if it is posted by someone hiding behind Ima. I will go on record every chance I can get to voice my disapproval of women hiding behind Ima.

amother

Lilac

Thu, Jun 15 2017, 1:19 pm

MagentaYenta wrote:

In this case a poster was asking for advice about a situation with her son, and someone asked how old said son was. OP thought this was a stupid question and said so.

amother

Wine

Thu, Jun 15 2017, 1:34 pm

MagentaYenta wrote:

I "hide" behind Amother because I'm paranoid about people knowing who I am. However I really try to my best (and hopefully succeed) to only write positive and constructive comments.

Iymnok

Thu, Jun 15 2017, 1:36 pm

amother wrote:

In this case a poster was asking for advice about a situation with her son, and someone asked how old said son was. OP thought this was a stupid question and said so.

She said she felt it was irrelevant. I agree. Also the questioner didn't offer anything else, implying that answers can only be given if the child's age is shared.

On the subject here, I really dislike it when people ask more and more personal questions that really don't need to be shared. They just sensationalize something personal. I am impressed by those who respond with dignity and self respect while still maintaining their privacy.

shyshira

Thu, Jun 15 2017, 1:52 pm

Iymnok wrote:

She said she felt it was irrelevant. I agree. Also the questioner didn't offer anything else, implying that answers can only be given if the child's age is shared.

I think she was implying that a more helpful answer could be given, not that no answer could be given.

have we come to a point that every time we ask a question we need to explain our selves. Why are we not assuming that the person asking the question is doing so with good intent - not 'fishing'. If you're asked an inappropriate question - just don't answer it... asking the age of the child in this case in no way could be construed as inappropriate... if OP really thought that saying - "15' would out her identity, then providing a range could help.

I'd hate to write a post starting with "I assume your talking about a 14-17 year old, to find out that my assumption was wrong, and the advice provided was inappropriate.

What I see on imamother often is that people fill in the facts on their own when they aren't provided.. (thats a human trait).. and that takes things off course.

amother

Honeydew

Thu, Jun 15 2017, 2:50 pm

At the risk of being attacked my self, I'm going to say that I don't see what the original op did wrong. (WAIT! Before you start yelling at me... keep reading...)
On her own thread with her original question, she said in response to 'how old is he?' she had a feeling someone would ask that question and didn't feel it was relevant. OK, we can agree or disagree with her. I see plenty of people managed to answer her without knowing that information. I happen to think that really the answer doesn't change much (as a few posters pointed out) but can understand those that disagree.
She then started a different thread about how people ask 'stupid' questions in response to threads. I see imasinger responded very well in particular, explaining that 'stupid' was probably the incorrect word. I think imasinger is correct. Actually, if you take out the word 'stupid' from the subject line, the rest of her post was fine, not mean. She just stated a complaint she has that people in general tend to ask questions instead of posting helpful tips (I actually agree, the same thing happened to me a few times and it was frustrating) She gave her own thread as an example, probably not the best example out there but again, whatever. She later posted in response to some 'attacking' posts that yes she used the wrong word and appreciated those that answered her respectfully. I don't see anything wrong with that at all.
I was actually very surprised and disturbed at the attacking and ganging up on her that I saw.

amother

Burlywood

Thu, Jun 15 2017, 3:32 pm

amother wrote:

I "hide" behind Amother because I'm paranoid about people knowing who I am. However I really try to my best (and hopefully succeed) to only write positive and constructive comments.

I'm the same way, I like the anonymity of using amother, I almost never post under my screen name, even if not anything personal. I do also try to write "nicely."

amother

Firebrick

Thu, Jun 15 2017, 3:44 pm

amother wrote:

At the risk of being attacked my self, I'm going to say that I don't see what the original op did wrong. (...She later posted in response to some 'attacking' posts that yes she used the wrong word and appreciated those that answered her respectfully. I don't see anything wrong with that at all.

If she were really contrite she could have asked to have the thread title changed.

amother

Honeydew

Thu, Jun 15 2017, 5:04 pm

She said she was newish. I'm guessing she had no idea that was an option.
But whatever, those who like to be angry will always find reasons to feel that way...

amother

Jetblack

Thu, Jun 15 2017, 5:17 pm

amother wrote:

She said she was newish. I'm guessing she had no idea that was an option.
But whatever, those who like to be angry will always find reasons to feel that way...

. Are you that op? She was the one who came across as angry.

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