Did you ever want to have another baby but couldn't?

amother

Ginger

Fri, Jun 16 2017, 3:19 pm

We're you ever desperate to have another baby but were not able to?

Xdh felt he couldn't manage any more children emotionally. Even though I was so desperate to have more I had to go along.

It was extremely hard for me.

Did anyone else go through such times?

amother

Ivory

Fri, Jun 16 2017, 4:35 pm

For the last 10 years, I have wanted another..dh has low motolity so we have to do ivf..for 5 years dh ignored me when I brought up the topic, finally I had a meltdown and he said he doesnt want to do ivf again. He never went back to a doctor..we tried for a little while to track my ovulation and do it naturally but he didnt seem to realize that there was like no chance of it happening naturally. Part of me will always be angry at him for taking that away from me and I still hoped every time my period didnt come right away but im 42 now..probably best to stop hoping.

amother

Orange

Fri, Jun 16 2017, 5:19 pm

In theory, I wish I could have another baby.
I guess, technically, I could have been trying the last couple of years. I had my last child at 39 and then went on birth control. I couldn't see having the strength for another pregnancy and felt I wanted to concentrate on the ones I had. I still see a newborn and feel a twinge. If I had gotten married earlier and not had IF issues, maybe I would've had more. But this is the way life turned out and this is the way my family is meant to be.

amother

Natural

Sat, Jun 17 2017, 2:52 pm

Had a tubal at 27, after 4 c sections.
It was hard to accept.
But the worst was hearing comments from others.
Now with each GC all I want to do is hold them, small them, and change their cute tiny bottoms.

amother

Periwinkle

Sat, Jun 17 2017, 11:24 pm

amother wrote:

Every single day. For me, this is possibly the hardest part of being divorced.

I would change the last word (above) to married. Imagine being married and still not being able to have 1 more... I think that might hurt even more.

amother

Wine

Sat, Jun 17 2017, 11:38 pm

amother wrote:

I would change the last word (above) to married. Imagine being married and still not being able to have 1 more... I think that might hurt even more.

Actually, I don't have to imagine, because I experienced that when I was married as well. And personally I find it harder now.

That being said, I don't think it is fair or appropriate to compare people's pain. Of course it is painful to be married and want another child but not be able to have one. And it is also painful to be divorced and want another child but not be able to have one.

amother

Bisque

Sat, Jun 17 2017, 11:57 pm

The woman who desires to have a baby and is unable to for whatever reason, may feel heartbroken over this. She is grieving a loss and has emotional pain.
Whether she is single, married or divorced is irrelevant. It is HER loss.

amother

Wine

Sun, Jun 18 2017, 12:06 am

amother wrote:

I would change the last word (above) to married. Imagine being married and still not being able to have 1 more... I think that might hurt even more.

I am curious as to your logic. Why do you think that might hurt even more?

amother

Periwinkle

Sun, Jun 18 2017, 12:13 am

amother wrote:

I am curious as to your logic. Why do you think that might hurt even more?

simply because you might want another baby but realistically you know it is not going to happen if you are not even married.

If you are married and want another baby but can't have one when it seems that it is possible it can be so painful since you are married and of child conceiving age.

It's like you love ice cream and go to the store to buy some but the store is closed so you know that you just can't have the ice cream. When I go to the store it is open but they wont sell the ice cream to me for some reason .... so that hurts more than just wanting it.

mommy3b2c

Sun, Jun 18 2017, 12:27 am

amother wrote:

I would change the last word (above) to married. Imagine being married and still not being able to have 1 more... I think that might hurt even more.

And imagine that you can't have the kid you're desperate for, PLUS you are divorced.

Your comment makes no sense.

Besides, it's always rude to compare problems.

amother

Ginger

Sun, Jun 18 2017, 2:04 am

amother wrote:

When I was married and desperate for another baby' I wasn't allowed to have' I still had some tiny bit of hope that Hashem could make it happen if He wants it as the pill isn't 100 % fool proof. Because after all its in His hands. And after about 10 years it happened.

Now being divorced the clock is just ticking and I'm nearly 40.....

amother

Wine

Sun, Jun 18 2017, 3:35 am

amother wrote:

And what if I come to the ice cream store and it is open but they won't let me in and I can just look through the window at everyone else enjoying their ice cream while I can't even get in the door?

Seems like you are saying that someone who is single or divorced is not even entitled to want to have a baby and should just kind of get over it and accept that it isn't possible in her situation. Actually, that's what makes it even more painful than it was for me when I was married.

amother

Ginger

Sun, Jun 18 2017, 4:10 pm

amother wrote:

I got divorced after having only one child and by the time I got remarried it was too late to have a second. The pain is unimaginable.

I'm sending you endless hugs!!!! Hug

amother

Lilac

Mon, Jun 19 2017, 8:28 am

I really feel for you all who want/ed another baby but can't/couldn't have, or didn't have ....
it's a natural part of being a woman to want to bear children, and when a woman finds that she cannot/may not have anymore children the pain can be heartrending.
I experienced it in my early 30's after a c-section which went awry - the surgeon did a wrong cut and ruined my womb. I was inconsolable. I went to the delivery room at the hospital I'd given birth to the kiddies I do have Baruch Hashem, and I said - "Goodbye."

I keep on comforting myself that EVERYTHING is part of Hashem's Master Plan, and if Hashem wants it this way for me, then it is for my best.

Chayalle

Mon, Jun 19 2017, 10:05 am

After my first two, found out we have IF when DD was about 4. As time went on, yes, I felt desperate. I cried alot, it was really tough. Then had my next DD, B"H. And it's been different. I would LOVE to have another baby, but I don't feel the same desperation. Sometimes I wonder why it feels different. Maybe because Hashem answered my tefillos and it changed my perspective. And she also is the type of kid that keeps me VERY busy B"AH.

Sometimes I think it's not a good thing. If I would be more desperate, maybe Hashem would hear me? Because I really would love to have another baby.

My situation in some ways is similar to Ivory amother. Just want to give you personal Hug

. You are not alone.

amother

Taupe

Mon, Jun 19 2017, 10:49 am

Yes, I'm going through it as we speak. I'm turning 42 next week, so there is not much hope. .......I've had several miscarriages (1.5 years ago) and went to an RE who did all the tests. My numbers are horrific for my age, looks like I will never conceive again. Not even IVF is any guarantee.

amother

Navy

Mon, Jun 19 2017, 10:55 am

Chayalle wrote:

. You are not alone.

That is so interesting. I feel very similarly. My first was b"H conceived with no issues at all, then I went through a few years of IF to have my 2nd, who is a precious ray of sunshine. Now I'm going through it again and we need more intense treatment, but I'm so much calmer this time around, and I'm not quite sure why.