I know im being immature but....

amother

Brunette

Mon, Jun 19 2017, 6:52 am

Last week a co worker was really rude to me. She was in a really bad mood and took it out on me. I never usually bare a grudge. Im just not that type of person but she came in today and I can hardly look at her. Shes single and im married and I know I should be the grown up and pretend that nothing happened but she upset me and I cant look past that. Rghhj

crust

Mon, Jun 19 2017, 6:56 am

Being mature doesnt mean you get past things without digesting them first. Your system needs to process and metabolize what happened.
Can you have a direct talk with her? It's not immature. It's MATURE. Mature people talk things through.

amother

Beige

Mon, Jun 19 2017, 8:25 am

Can you kind of go half way? Meaning, don't be your usual friendly self, but at the same time don't go out of your way to show her that your upset. A simply quick smile and hello without making conversation. I think as a few days pass, your feelings (while completely legitimate!) Will lessen and things will go back to where they were. Don't allow this to extend longer than it has to by giving her the silent treatment or worse.

zaq

Mon, Jun 19 2017, 11:19 am

Nip this nonsense in the bud. Find a quiet moment to call her aside. Introduce the topic sweetly by saying that , while you don't believe she was acting with malice but, rather, was letting her frustration override her normal good manners, it was nevertheless unfair of her to speak to you as she did. Add that she may not have realized how rudely she acted but that it was hurtful and distressing to you.

BTW--Marital status has no relevance to this issue. There is no reason to expect single people to be more or less polite or more or less mature than married people of the same age and background. That you mentioned marital status at all has me thinking that a. you're fairly recently married and b. you may be unconsciously relating to this coworker in a superior manner, perhaps subtly implying that you're more mature or competent or wise than she, simply because you're married. You can see how this would be very hurtful to the person at the receiving end. I suggest doing some soul-searching and self-examination to see if you may be guilty of being a "single-ist" and doing something about it if you are.

STMommy

Mon, Jun 19 2017, 12:38 pm

Quote:

BTW--Marital status has no relevance to this issue. There is no reason to expect single people to be more or less polite or more or less mature than married people of the same age and background. That you mentioned marital status at all has me thinking that a. you're fairly recently married and b. you may be unconsciously relating to this coworker in a superior manner, perhaps subtly implying that you're more mature or competent or wise than she, simply because you're married. You can see how this would be very hurtful to the person at the receiving end. I suggest doing some soul-searching and self-examination to see if you may be guilty of being a "single-ist" and doing something about it if you are.

THIS.

debsey

Mon, Jun 19 2017, 12:51 pm

zaq wrote:

I agree. Communicating in a calm, clear fashion is best. Keep in mind, she may have a reason for her actions, in which case, you will know what it is you did, and be able to make amends.

FranticFrummie

Tue, Jun 20 2017, 7:53 am

You can really take the high road if you approach her like this:

"I noticed you were not in a good mood yesterday. Is something bothering you? Please let me know if there's any way I can help."

Chances are, her being rude may have had nothing to do with you, and instead she dumped her feelings on you. You were in the wrong place at the wrong time.

If she really was mad at you, then you have a golden opportunity to get some valuable feedback, and form a better work relationship.

amother

Brunette

Tue, Jun 20 2017, 8:05 am

Well thanks for all your wise words of wisdom. Some wiser than others...anyway I took the moral high road and let it go...it wasnt worth even discussing. I just felt that vibe. If it happens again I will broach the subject..