How often do you call your mother?

amother

Green

Mon, Jun 19 2017, 9:42 pm

My mother passed away a few weeks ago. I'm consumed with guilt for not calling more often before she got diagnosed with cancer a few months before. I know she used to love when I called but I was always "too busy" to call more than 1-2 times a week. I feel terrible about it.

At least I realized I should reach out and be in touch with my father more often now. He's so happy when I call or visit.

Laiya

Mon, Jun 19 2017, 10:36 pm

amother wrote:

Please, please don't guilt yourself. We're all human, you did what you could, what seemed reasonable at the time.

Hamakom yenachem eschem besoch sh'ar aveilei tzion v'yerushalayim.

Hug

amother

Seafoam

Mon, Jun 19 2017, 11:13 pm

So far, out if 32 posters;

12 call daily or more
8 call once a week
9 call randomly every few days give or take
2 call occasionally
1 never

Ok. Sigh of relief. If I make sure to talk to her randomly or once a week I'm still in the majority. I wanted to know if I'm so out of line as some want me to believe, including myself.
Thank you imas!!

amother

Violet

Tue, Jun 20 2017, 12:46 am

mommmmmmmmmmy wrote:

Random. Every week for sure. If stuff going on more often. Unfortunately there's not much of bond- more of a superficial convo and she hangs up quickly which works for me. She's really sweet but it is what it is

totally off topic, but how do you remember how many "m"s in your username?!

grace413

Tue, Jun 20 2017, 1:01 am

Daily Sunday-Thursday. I'm in Israel and she's in the States so Friday/Shabbat don't work.

This is a recent development. My mother is elderly and abour a year ago asked me to please call her every day. Fortunately she doesn't like to talk more than about 2 minute. Years ago a phone call could have gone on for 30 minutes.

We all do the best we can.

mommmmmmmmmmy

Tue, Jun 20 2017, 1:58 am

amother wrote:

totally off topic, but how do you remember how many "m"s in your username?!

Lol I just counted to ten when 1 2 or 3 m's were taken. I guess I coulda tried a dif word but wasnt paying much attention while setting up account. Maybe I got 10 kids?! I dnt

amother

Blush

Tue, Jun 20 2017, 5:23 am

I live in Israel, my mom is in NY. We speak twice a day but I am my moms only daughter and we are very close. It also works perfectly I call her when I finish work to say a quick hello and good morning. And then we speak for about an hour when she finishes work and I am waiting for my dh to come home (the kids are already sleeping...)

amother

Denim

Tue, Jun 20 2017, 10:35 am

I want to suggest that I believe a lot has to do with your relationship, how available was she during your childhood ect. for me my mom was pretty absent in my life she was physically and emotionally not very available or at least thats what I remember.
I dont think you can force a relationship. I am a very forgiving person so when I remember I try and call her but its not natural to me. A relationship between mother and daughter should go both ways, my mom should be making an effort to call me as well but instead her attitude is that its my job.

amother

Wheat

Tue, Jun 20 2017, 11:07 am

My mom is elderly. She had a stroke a year ago, and had to be taught to speak again... Before the stroke I complained that she'd call countless times throughout the day and never wanted to hang up. Now I am grateful I understand what she's saying.
So I call my mom every day for sure, and usually three or four times a day. She's very lonely and waits for those calls.

wantavaca

Tue, Jun 20 2017, 11:44 am

My mother lives alone and waits for my calls so I try to call every night even though it's very hard for me

I'm not a phone person at all.

She basically talks about herself and doesn't have interest in listening to anything about me really and sometimes she goes on and on and sometimes she's in an awful mood but at the end of the day she's my mother and I do my best to be there for her.

And yes she thinks we never speak🙈

amother

Smokey

Tue, Jun 20 2017, 11:45 am

amother wrote:

This.

My mother will never call ask how I'm doing. It's the child's obligation, duty, responsibility, whatever. Which makes the whole relationship one of duty instead of natural.

amother

Turquoise

Tue, Jun 20 2017, 12:02 pm

I see my mother a few times a week but if I didn't need her services we'd probably never speak just like that. I'm not a phone person and she doesnt have too much interest in my life . so What

amother

Magenta

Tue, Jun 20 2017, 12:03 pm

wantavaca wrote:

same here except my mom does not live alone. I have to force myself not to call so often (she expects more than once a day) because I always feel bad and down when I hang up.

and I also wantavaca. today!!

lfab

Tue, Jun 20 2017, 12:14 pm

I speak to my mother nearly every day. Sometimes several times a day if I forgot to ask her something or she remembers something to tell me. Sometimes she calls me and some days I call her. Sometimes we keep end up missing each other so we don't speak that day but for the most part it's every day. Often we just speak for a few minutes, just to say hi, tell her a cute story about the kids, etc. But sometimes we could end up being on the phone for 45 minutes to an hour.